"But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High." -Luke 1:30-32
End-of-the-year letter:
My dear Family and Friends,
Another blessed year has gone by. So many trials, lessons learned, and news to rejoice about. While Christmas and New Year produce a season ripe for reflection, I’d like to let you know that I’m so grateful for each one of you, and pray that you are enjoying a wonderful holiday season.
First off, I’d like to share with you the events of the past year. I finished my second year at UC Santa Cruz. During that final winter quarter I took three math classes (challenging!), so the right-side of my brain had its exercise. I also joined a choir at Santa Cruz Bible Church called For Heaven’s Sake (FHS) that rehearses weekly, and primarily sings at convalescent homes and other churches. FHS is comprised of twelve married couples (except for me, or course), who painted a picture of the Body of Christ to me… what it means to love, encourage, and grow with one other in our walks with God. The group also encouraged and stretched me vocally; I was even the lead soloist on a couple of songs.
Come summer, I pet-sat in Santa Cruz for a couple in FHS for a number of weeks, spending the evenings making dinner with friends. It’s so much fun spending time with friends when you don’t have course work on your shoulders! When I came back to Redlands, I went on a road trip with my sister to Las Vegas, Reno, and finally Chico to spend the 4th of July with my brother. During August I took a math and a philosophy course at UC Riverside. The philosophy course was so interesting and well taught, that perhaps I just might claim it as my favorite course so far. It examined the ethics of capital punishment and the death penalty, making me think about where I stand on these issues. In September I spent a week at Lake Tahoe with my dad’s side of the family. During that trip, I was blessed to get to know them more on an adult level as well as spend a lot of time with the Lord: taking long walks on the shore and sitting on the pier … the epitome of Rest!
Then junior year at UCSC arrived. Fall quarter was tough! I took my first upper division courses in math, physics, and astrophysics. I loved all of them, though the latter was intense enough to be discouraging at times.
And now, at the end of 2003, I am looking forward to a new chapter in 2004. Come February, I am leaving for the University of Auckland, New Zealand to study abroad for a year. Yee haw!
Well, that summarizes my events for the year… however, I’ve found the lessons I’ve learned more important, ones the Lord has been driving home in the past year. I would like to share them with you:
1) Boundaries: I’ve learned that I am responsible for my own person, and also, how to allow others to be responsible for themselves, too.
2) God is responsible for my circumstances, but I am responsible for my reaction towards them.
3) To speak up! Though a listener, God is stirring me to speak my mind more, and I am! (just ask my sister)
4) When society seems to follow a trend I don’t agree with, I’ve learned more about how to go against the flow.
Of course, this is just a brief summary of the lessons—I included more about these experiences below.
And now, “to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! AMEN!” (Romans 16:27) (emphasis mine :o)
A lot of things came together for me this summer. First, I took a philosophy class. Well, if you’ve ever taken one of those, you know you find yourself in a wellspring of thoughts, theories, and opinions that give you no choice but to think of your own. At the same time I was reading Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. At the same time I was reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. The outcome? More confidence in who I am and more openness in where He wants to take me. Let me explain.
On the cover of Boundaries, you’ll read the following description: “when to say YES, when to say NO, to take control of your life.” To give you more of an idea:
- They set invisible property lines, defining your soul, and helping you to guard it and maintain it (Proverbs 4:23). They define what is me and what is not me. When I know that I own my life, my choices and my options, I take responsibility for them, and therefore have freedom to do what I want with them. Subsequently, they increase your love and save your life.
- I am responsible to others and for myself. We are told to ‘carry our own load,’ our own responsibilities (Galations 6:5), and when others’ have burdens, we can make the choice to help carry them (vs. 2) and therefore show the sacrificial love of Christ.
- Boundaries also help us to “guard or our heart with all diligence” (Proverbs 4:23), keeping the good in and the bad out. I can let the good in, the love and forgiveness of Christ and my friends. I can get the bad out by communicating sin or burdens with God and with friends, and therefore get it out, not letting it poison me inside.
So in coming to recognize boundaries, I’ve come to recognize who I am as compared to others and what I am and am not responsible for.
Also through Boundaries and the 7 Habits, I’ve learned a lot about proactivity. I trust the Lord is author of my circumstances. I have the choice of how to react. If I get a bad grade, I can work harder/seek out help. If someone says something hurtful to me, I can approach that person lovingly. “Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose, and what they stand for.” Up until recently, I would describe myself as one of those ‘nod your head and say yes’ types, whether I agree or not, all in the effort just be a good listening person. As a listener, typically I find myself listening to a lot about what other people think. With the help of the philosophy class and the books, I’ve discovered that “oh yes, I need to think for myself.” And
- God has taught me a lot, I can share what I’ve learned with others, and therefore help them in their burdens.
- When I disagree with something or someone, or I see an injustice occurring, I need to speak up.
- When I’m caught in a relationship where I am doing most of the listening, and am getting frustrated at the fact that I’m not being heard, I can 1) speak up 2) leave 3) tell the person how I feel.
If I don’t follow through with these, I’m only setting myself up for feelings of anxiety and anger over the dissension. Of course, there is a great deal to learn about when to speak up as well.
From the 7 Habits I’ve come to realize that society nowadays (as in the past 50 years) has come to view success as ‘a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques that lubricate human interaction.’ (i.e., If you’re a college student, you know the familiar questions- “What school are going to? Berkeley? Harvard?” or “What are you going to do with that degree?” heheh) Today’s society ceases to value ‘integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.’ This book helped show me that if we focus ourselves on basic principles based on the latter values, then through process (and only process) may we gain a truer, richer experience of success. Part of the book challenges you to write your own mission statement. Most of mine involves my readiness to follow where He leads. Thus, when I’m sitting frustrated in some of my hard classes, I hear Him saying, ‘examine your purpose.’ I know I’m just called to love- love the students, love the professor, enjoy the process. I can do that. He can take care of the rest. And all the frustration goes away! What a joy! Just another reminder to keep my eyes on eternal things, not on things of the earth. (Colossians 3:2)
Last of all, in my philosophy class we studied ethics followed by debates surrounding the death penalty and torture. I learned that people can do some pretty horrific things when they are under authority (summary of the Stanley Milgram cases: http://www.new-life.net/milgram.htm). People like you and me can walk into traps where we do things we don’t agree with (as torturers may do). But by owing it to somebody else, cause, or reason, we justify our actions to ourselves. What we don’t realize is that (once again) we are responsible for our own actions... we have the choice not to do the action.
I could give you quite a few examples of how I’ve exercised what I’ve learned, but perhaps you may like to ask in person. I’d definitely will not admit I’m a pro at this stuff. New situations arise daily where I have to learn how to tailor what I’ve learned to what I’m experiencing. But it’s all part of being molded towards Christ.
"But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High."