If u have more quotes for me mail me pleeease!
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-"If you love something, set it free." Unknown
-"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." Aristotle
-"Everything is temporary anyway." Edie Brickell
-"Wouldn't this world be a funny place if we all had the same sense of humor." Unknown
-"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet." Emily Dickins
-"When you take stuff one writer its plagiarism: but when you take it from many writers its called research." Wilson Mizner
-"We miss more in one second than we will see in our whole lives." Jimmies Chicken Shack
-"If you refuse to give up on your dreams, they will refuse to give up on you." Lynne V. Somers
-"Love yourself. Because if you dont love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" RuPaul
-"A stranger is a friend not yet met." Lynne V. Somers
-"Don't fear dying, fear not having lived." An Old Mexican Saying
-"Learn to listen, listen to learn." Unknown
-"All of us are always going to do better tomorrow, and we would, too, if only we had started today." Unknown
-"True love is like a four leaved clover. Often sought but rarely found." Lynne V. Somers
-"It is impossible to enjoy idling thorougly unless one has plenty of work to do." Jerome K. Jerome
-"But what is Hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we
see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of." Lord Byron, 28 October 1815, to the poet Thomas Moore
-"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: Do be my enemy for friendship's sake." William Blake, Manuscript Notebooks, no. 39
-"By oneself is evil done; by oneself one suffers; by oneself evil
is left undone; by oneself is one purified. Purity and impurity
belong to oneself; no one can purify another." Dharmapada Sutra
-"Just as in earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are
able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls
blend in a soft whisper, so the mystic longs for the moment when
in prayer he can, as it were, creep into God." Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or, vol. 2
-"Poets are damned, but they are not blind, they see with the eyes of angels." William Carlos Williams
-"War is only a cowardly escape from peace" Thomas Mann
-"The purpose of all war is peace" Saint Augustine
-"War is nothing more than the continuation of politics by other means" Karl von Clausewitz
-Force, and fraud, are in war the two cardinal virtues.
-War is the great scavenger of thought.
-War is the supreme drama of a completely mechanized society.
-The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
-Anyone who has ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on the battlefield will think hard before starting a war.
-There is nothing so subject to the inconstancy of fortune as war.
-It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty -seconds of war to destroy him.
-I'm trying to die correctly, but it's very difficult, you know.
-All men think all men mortal, but themselves.
-Life yields only to the conqueror. Never accept what can be gained by giving in. You will be living off stolen goods, and your muscles will atrophy.
-I dream, therefore I exist.
-Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.
-He who sleeps half a day has won half a life.
-While the doctors consult, the patient dies.
-Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight.
-A friend to all is a friend to none.
-The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.
-The shortest answer is doing.
-To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
-When the sword of rebellion is drawn, the sheath should be thrown away.
-The mob has many heads but no brains.
-Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them.
-A blind man will not thank you for a looking-glass.
-He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
-A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
-Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies.
-Life without a friend is death without a witness.
-Translators, traitors.
-If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice,
-The nail that sticks up will be hammered down.
-There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.
-Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
-Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
-There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave.
-When the apple is ripe it will fall.
-Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain.
-Life is a bridge. Cross over it, but build no house on it.
-It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but death is the best of all.
-If your buttocks burn, you know you have done wrong.
-A wise man hears one word and understands two.
-The course of true love never did run smooth.
-Be aware of the fact; you cannot change the fact; you may cover it up, run away from it, but you cannot change it. It is there.
-Two heads are better than one, especially when they're on the same coin.
-The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history.
-Why the emphasis on home ownership when life itself is leased?
-Hard work never kills anyone who supervisors it.
-Never mistake knowledge and wisdom. One helps you make a living; the
other helps you make a life.
-None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them.
-There are three ingrediants to a good life; learning, earning and yearning.
-Memory is what some people use to forget with.
-They are able, who think they are able.
-Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
-Every generations finds it hard to hear what its children need- because
its own childhood is still ringing in its ears.
-Secret: What you tell a person at a time.
-The farther backward you can look. The farther forward you can see.
-Knowledge is power, but money pays for the fuel.
-They intoxicate themselves with work, so they won't see how they reallyare.
-Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.
-People don't ever seem to realise that doing what is right is no
guarantee against misfortune.
-The greatest of faults is to be concious of none.
-Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
-A man is drunk when he feels sophisticated but can't pronounce it.
-Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm
-The longest wait in the world is when the nurse tells you to take of your clothes because the doctor will be with you in a minute.
-I've developed a new philosophy; I dread only one day at a time.
-Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
-When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people
-I am not ashamed to confess, I am ignorant of what I don't know
-Many people loose there tempers merely by seeing you not loose yours
-Education like neurosis, begins at home
-Eagles don't flock; you have to find them one at a time
-Bad is never good until worse happens
-All celebrated people loose there dignity on close view
-When wemon start wearing sensible shoes, you'll know femininity has
finally died.
-Never let your mind get set - except on the object of succeeding by
exercising an open mind.
-One way you can often do more, is to do less
- When you want something for long enough.... you don't
-Whatever a bird is, is perfect in the bird.
-Today is yesterday's pupil
-When you cease to dream you cease to live
-Don't judge a man till you have walked two moons in his moccasins
-He who says what he likes, shall hear what he does not like
-There is only one corner of the universe that you can be certain on
improving, that's yourself.
-Don't get out of your depth in a conversation, few will try to save you.
-The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those
who try to do nothing and succeed
-It's a dangerous thing to reform anyone.
- Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office.
-What may be done at any time, is done at no time.
-It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
-Riches don't exist in possesion, but in the use made of them.
-All things flow, nothing abides.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
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To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
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Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window
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Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."
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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
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Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!
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Whenever I need to "get away," I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect. The only bad thing there are the flies. They're terrible!
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Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?
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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
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I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when someone kills someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.
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A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
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I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
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I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are. Hey, where am I?
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If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend."
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say
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Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
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I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though, to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along, acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to attack, but it's his parents. Then, some more pornography
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
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I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
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Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."
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The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me."
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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."
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The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
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Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you
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Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune after a little torture.
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We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.
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I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
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I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge.
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone
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Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"
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If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
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Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
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If I had the time to sit down and write a thank-you note to everyone who sent me a nice, expensive present, what a wonderful world that would be!
Great Quotes
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy