You might be an Engineer if...
...if you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife".
...if your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to
dinner.
...if you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
...if you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas.
...if Dilbert is your hero.
...if you stare at an orange juice container because it says
CONCENTRATE.
...if you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
...if the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
...if your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
...if your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place.
...if you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'
toys.
...if you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
...if you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other
than hanging coats and taping ducts.
...if it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the
burnt-out bulb in the string at Christmas.
...if you window shop at Radio Shack.
...if your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the
latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
...if you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
...if you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a
test that actually takes five minutes to run.
...if you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment.
...if you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer
is.
...if you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
...if you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
...if you own "Official Star Trek" anything.
...if you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's
inside.
...if a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
...if you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair
project.
...if you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor.
...if you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
...if you have never backed up your hard drive.
...if you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
games, but are afraid to say it out loud.
...if you truly believe aliens are living among us.
...if you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
...if you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".
...if you see a good design and still have to change it.
...if the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your
questions.
...if you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
...if the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never
enters your mind.
...if you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't
remember where they are.
...if you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires.
...if you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster
you own turns bread into charcoal.
...if you have more toys than your kids.
...if you need a checklist to turn on the TV.
...if you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
...if you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they
work.
...if your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
...if the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you
rush up to the front to fix it.
...if you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
...if you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery
channel and have seen most of the shows already.
...if you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
RPN stands for.
...if your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color
TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you
grew up thinking that was normal.
...if you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what
size screw driver to use.
...if you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own
handwriting.
...if people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
...if you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time
this week.
...if you did the sound system for your senior prom.
...if your checkbook always balances.
...if your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
...if you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
...if you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers.
...if you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
didn't get enough sleep.
...if you spend more on your home computer than your car.
...if you know what http stands for.
...if you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
...if you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in
your garage.
...if your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory.
...if your lap-top computer costs more than your car.
...if your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.
Chocolate.