Song that reminds you of school?
Noel: "Going Underground" by The Jam. I've got good memories of
school because I f*****g hated it and everyone else who was in
our class. And the teachers. But there was one dinner lady who
was a fine lady and that was our Mam. But I was glad that I left
the year he [Liam] joined.
Liam: 'Hey Teacher Leave Those Kids Alone'. Before i get me dad
in to sort you out! (He means "Another Brick In The Wall (Part
2)" by Pink Floyd, of course - Ed)
Song you fell in love to?
Noel: Erm, not sure about that...
Liam: Right, well here's my one. (Picks up tape and shouts into
the mic) WHICH ONE? THERE WERE SO F*****G MANY!!! He can't say
that, I can now. (NME should point out that this interview was
conducted while Liam and Patsy were estranged.)
Noel: You'll f*****g regret that. Me, I wouldn't like to say.
Probably something shit like...
Liam: Leave it, leave it at that.
Noel: ..."The Bitterest Pill" by The Jam.
Liam: He's taking the piss out of me now!
Noel: I'm not.
Liam: Yer are, you cheeky bastard! I know! I know! (picks up mic)
'The Morning After...Pill'.
Heartbreak song?
Noel: "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" by Monty Python.
Liam: "Perfect Day" by whatshisname, Lou Reed.
Noel: "Ticket To Ride" is a pretty good heartbreak tune, innit?
Liam: What's he mean by heartbreak tune?
Noel: A record that reminds you of feeling sad when a bird's
leaving you.
Liam: Aaaaaaah...it's a 'Perfect Day'. D'yer geddit kids? Anyone
fancy a pint?
Noel: You're gonna pay for that when this comes out.
Liam: No I won't, no I won't, no I won't, no I won't.
Noel: F*****g will!
Liam: F*****g won't, mate. It's a 'Perfect Day', what can I say?
That's me heartbreak record.
Song that evokes the greatest summer of your life?
Liam: Dodgy - "Going Out For The Summer" (sic)
Noel: Is it f***! Don't say that! He didn't mean that.
Liam: (Tries to throw the tape player into adjacent fish tank)
Ginger-haired c***! (Stops) What, a perfect summer? "She Bangs
The Drums" by The Stone Roses.
Noel: I'd go along with that, definitely.
Liam: That whole album. Best summer ever. Mad for it. Ask me the
next one, yer c***.
Anthem for a night on the tiles?
Noel: You've not heard it yet. It's one of our new ones, you
wait.
Liam: Yeah, leave it at that. We're out of season now, man.
Noel: Yeah, one of our new ones...
Liam: Leave it at that!!!
Noel: OK. It's not my band.
Liam: Whose band is it?
Noel: You band.
Liam: Did you hear that?! It's my band!! It's my band!! Are you
recording this, Mister Journalist? It's my band!
Noel: It's your band.
Liam: Hang on a minute...It's not my band now we're shit and
nobody likes us! It was my band when we were popular! You sneaky
bastard! (Aims kick at Noel's arse)
Record that inspired you to form a band?
Noel: The Stone Roses' first album.
Liam: One of his.
Noel: You were in the band befor me, you daft c***!
Liam: Alright, alright. But it was still one of your songs that
made us start the band.
Noel: Oh, yeah, so it is my band after all.
Liam: Right. "When The Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin.
Noel: Also, "The Queen Is Dead" by The Smiths.
Liam: PistolsRosespunkspunknewwave. Music
Record guaranteed to clear the tourbus?
Noel: Any of Bonehead's, Cocteau Twins, The Sugarcubes, The
Stranglers, A Flock Of Seagulls, Classix Nouveaux, Split Enz,
Kajagoogoo...
Liam: I'm going to be a right hard bastard now and say anything by
f*****g fat-arsed Williams. You can quote me on that! (Wheels
away boxing the air) WHO WANTS IT?!!
Noel: Tubby-arsed Williams.
Liam: Tubby-arsed Williams. And quote me on that, right? That's
from me, not him. Anything by Robbie f*****g Williams. Alright?
Noel: Not that we've ever played anything by him on the bus.
Liam: No f*****g way! But if they played it I'd f*****g run off.
I'd rather walk. I'd rather be in the f*****g trailer. I'd rather
trail the f*****g trailer!
Midnight on New Year's Eve. What's on the hi-fi?
Noel: Not "Millenium" by Robbie Williams. Er, probably one of
ours. Probably that one we can;t tell you about.
Liam: I'll be playing myself. Or the glockenspiel.
What would you like played at your funeral?
Noel: "Going Underground" by The Jam.
Liam: "Natural Mystic" by Bob Marley. (Grabs NME by the groin,
kisses NME on the cheek and stomps off.)
New Mucial Express, 19th December 1998