| 1 | That guy up there, is Eddy, he is God. |
| 2 | You must practice Eddyism. |
| 3 | Eddy believes in all kinds of cool things and such. |
| 4 | Eddyism is not a form of Atheism, because Eddy is God. |
| 5 | Eddyism is not about belonging to something. Be your own person, and do what you want, when you want. |
| 6 | Eddyism is a religion based on logic. If it cannot be logicly proven, then I don't buy it, and neither does Eddy! |
| 7 | Eddyism is also based on confusion. Life is the most confusing thing there is. No matter how your attempt to break it down, you will not figure it out. Get over it and just deal with it, and if you don't, I swear to Eddy, he will kick your ass! |
| 8 | You should be nice to people unless they suck, then you can be a real dick to them. |
| 9 | The sun is bad. It can burn you and stuff, and that is never good. The night time is the right time! |
| 10 | When you write Dammit, there are no n's. 2 M's, that is final! |
| 11 | You must drink lots and lots of Coca Cola. That stuff is good and it can give you many extra hours of no sleep time. But don't get Eddy wrong, sleep is good, but sometimes you gotta do other stuff, so drink coke and it will help you to not sleep. |
| 12 | Racism is not allowed or accepted. No exceptions. |
| 13 | Just because someone has more power than you, does not mean that they are correct. More than likely, they are wrong. Question authority! Fuck 'em all! |
| 14 | You have to know that Blink 182 sold out. |
| 15 | Mexican food from Sombreros just because. Soms is always a plus. |
| 16 | You can never stink. If you smell real bad, you have to take a shower. Is that too much to ask? You think this would be something everyone could do, so tell me, what is the fucking deal with you stinky people? Nobody wants to smell your sorry ass. |
| 17 | If you come across a talking goat, be real nice to him. He has had a tough life being tied up in the truck all of the time. Maybe you might want to un-tie him and play catch with him. Don't whiz the fucking thing though, remember, he ain't got no dukes. |
| 18 | Don't quit. Stuff sucks, but don't stop trying. Maybe you will never make it, but at least find out. |
| 19 | Stay away from aliens! They are bad news! They are trying to take us over! Do you know who the alien amongst you is?!? |
| 20 | You must throw pies at ernie. ernie is bad |
