Early in my life I found Eastern paths rather alluring, and they are still quite attractive to me. I read everything I could get my hands on by Ram Dass. His book, The Only Dance There Is, has influenced me deeply. I thought that "Be Here Now" was possibly the most profound phrase I had ever heard, words to end all words, and certainly it is, but my understanding of that phrase keeps changing and growing. My focus then moved to the ancient mystery religions of the Mediterranean where I discovered Gnosticism, and finally I embraced Western Mystery Taditions. I think that truth is ultimate and unchanging, but the paths to truth, while narrow, are many and varied. It's just a matter of finding the one that resonates with your being, and the Western Mystery Tradition path does this for me. None of the truth I found before has been negated, rather it has contributed to my current path.
In my search for spiritual truth I was finally forced to give up the exotic and begin with who I was: a daughter of midwestern protestant farmers and dairymen, as bland, reserved, and stoic as it seems. I have felt stifled by my overly-pious puritan roots, and have longed for the rich culture of the Mediterranean, the exotic Far East, or surreal and colorful India. Their paths seemed to beckon to me, making promises of cosmic oneness. But when the meditations and chants are over, I am still who I was when I started. The thing about spiritual paths is that it's not what you do or think, it's who you are. It's who you've always been, who your family is generation after generation.
Ultimately I had to search for myself where I was most likely to be - in my own culture. I was the reformation, the crusades, the inquisition, with all the horror that entails. I was the oppressor. But if I keep going, I find another story. I was also the oppressed. Though Christianity is definitely part of my physical and ontological story, it's not all of it by any means. My background is northern European; Franco and Germanic, but Celtic mostly. Before Christianity captured my people (both literally and metaphorically), I had a rich and, at times, exotic tribal heretage. In addition to this ancient heritage, Celtic Christianity was a rich tradition in its own right, as were early and medieval orthodox Christianity. This is who I am and at second glance, it's truly enticing.
Once I accept my true self the doors are open to me. Having an English background, means that Arthurian tradition is mine, and this, I have accepted wholeheartedly. My pantheon outside of Gnosticism consists of Arthurian archtypes as well as older Celtic deities. My love for Eastern religions is still there, but my true path is in the west. The Western Mystery Tradition path is not just a spiritual one for me, it is physical and cultural.
Under the umbrella of this tradition are Wicca (a recent religion though some claim an ancient heretage) Druidism, Asatru, Faery tradition and all Celtic traditions that have arisen due to the recent explosion of Celtic popularity. My discovery of the Western Mystery Tradition is due mostly to my discovery of RJ and Josephine Stewart and John and Caitlin Matthews. I work with RJ Stewart's material and attend work shops with the Stewarts as often as possible, and have had some very powerful experiences as a result. I've found that his work, along with that of the Matthews, reaches into the depths of my soul and transforms my being and the way I understand the universe.
I also find myself fascinated by secret hermetic orders. I am considering joining a group in England called S.O.L (Servants of the Light) because they work with Arthurian images. I've been involved with both B.O.T.A. (Builders of the Adytum) and the Rosicrucians breifly, and I've considered joining O.T.O. (Ordo Templi Orientus), but I found that it didn't quite call to me the way other work and orders do. I'm interested in the Golden Dawn as well, though I haven't done much studying on it.
One thing my path is NOT is new age. I don't like what I see as "sugary" spirituality. That is spirituality that assumes that all that is divine is good and light. Part of our planetary and societal problems is that we've failed to claim the depths and the shadows, and it has taken a toll on our environment and on our culture. We've shunned the feminine aspect and need to open ourselves up to it once more in order to heal the earth. I am fortunate to have found my own tradition, and to find that it is ultimately Earth based and healing.
If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me.
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