|Guest Commentary by LaWanda Spearman: How to Fight Other People's Battles|
Sometimes the world's just not fair. Nobody understands that better than Bobby Brown.
The thing you've got to understand is how hard it is to be him. Ever since he was a kid in Florida,
he's been a star athlete. Sure, that may sound like a good thing, but, trust me, being a 6'2,
ridiculously good looking former NFL player isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes, Bobby's loved by
everyone around him and can get any girl he wants, but isn't it obvious that he still suffers
from horrible discrimination? I'm relatively sure that it goes without saying that a joke about someone
being old is the most serious threat to community that NDLS has ever faced. I'm also fairly certain that
Bobby Brown isn't enough of a man to fight his own battles (assuming that he was horribly offended by that
joke- the most insensitive joke ever told- as I'm sure he was) and needs a spindly bespectacled
anal retentive girl to speak on his behalf. Well, I'm here for you, Bobby. My big, beautiful, black man. With
those big strong hands of yours. I'm here. Call me.
Editor's Note: In response to this article, we received the following brief statement from Bobby Brown: "Friends: In this time of trouble, I would like to remind everyone that skin color doesn't matter. Black girls, white girls, Asian girls, Latino girls... It's all good. They're all the same color- pink- where it counts, on the inside."
Editor's Note #2: EVERYBODY FUCKIN' LIGHTEN UP ALREADY.