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Quote:
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both
sides" - David Viscott
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.....Your presence is
greatly appreciated. So...I'm SO excited because I put up
this AWESOME new
layout. I'm improving it ALL the time. YES I know this
site is really effeminate, but if you continue reading, it might
make a little bit more sense. It could look a lot
better with your help, so please leave me input. It's the least
you could do for visiting my site. Well anyway, this is where
I keep all of the poetry, and now, my short story-in-progress
(see Sister Site to the left) that I've recently written.
I
also keep my gay pride awareness pages (links to great
sources). If you haven't already
heard, I'M, GAY AND
PROUD
OF IT! If you're homophobic, I feel really
sorry for you, and will have to DEMAND that you leave now on
both of our sakes. Don't even bother spamming or flaming. So...hope
you enjoy my AWESOME site ;o) There are now 3 ways
of contacting me! *gasp*. Let's see... 1) My email address is seanspoetry2004@yahoo.com
. 2) My AIM screenname is seanspoetry (go figure lol) if you want
to talk privately (I feel bad for whoever took that wrong hehe).
And now, 3)
TAGBOARD!!!! (to the right
>>>>>>>). THE BEST WAY TO HELP ME
OUT IS TO LEAVE INPUT! Input on my poems, story, layout,
colors, etc. is NOT ignored. If your idea is SO spectacular,
I will even leave a link to you and promote your site (if u have
one) in the "links" area. I'm always looking for
fresh ideas and new styles. And of course, I'm ALWAYS on my
computer (4PM-10:30PM PST), so you should have no problem reaching
me :o) *PS. there's a "Gibberish Bulletin"
located below. This should only be of concern to those who
understand Gibberish.* If the music is too loud, the
controls are to the left of the page :o)
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-Sean
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Updates
4-27-04:
::moved background music to left
::added diary (now called webblog) entry
::added quote. I will periodically change the quote, maybe
daily, maybe weekly, no promises! :o)
::added links
::added rainbow blinkie
::changed music
::added avatars
::added welcome pic
::added diary entry
4-26-04:
::added copyright message
::updated intro
::ADDED WEB DIARY
::changed diary layout
::ADDED GIBBERISH BULLETIN
::added note at top of page
::changed borders to
dashed
::added guy doll
::changed gay pride pic on left
::changed music (im always changing it, if u havent already
guessed) ull be hearing a lot of music from the game
"Final Fantasy VIII", because its music is SOOOO
beautiful and emotional! (especially if uve played it)
4-25-04: New Layout!!!!! yaaay!
It just keeps gettin better and better
4-25-04: Changed falling hearts to falling stars and
replaced cursor
4-24-04: added love
test, fireworks-on-click, and blue scrollbar
4-24-04: Added tagboards to both this site
and Sister Site. Also added beginning of Chapter 1 on Sister
Site
4-24-04: Created Sister Site, which will
hold ALL of my works-in-progress. Click to the left to view the
site (and make sure to leave any comments or suggestions)
4-24-04: Writing story (had a vision lol)
My Poetry
Forever
If
the only place
we can be together
is in my thoughts,
I'll drift forever
- Sean
click here for pic
I Watched You
I watched
you
when you've blared,
I watched you
when you were scared.
Only, one thing kills me now;
You never knew I cared
- Sean
click
here for pic
If Only...
If only
I could tell you.
My heart skips a beat
as I watch you laugh.
Your smile
can rescue me
from the darkest of places.
But seeing you
miserable or unhappy
shatters my heart
into a million pieces.
If only
I could tell you.
If only
I could comfort you.
From a cold, distant place,
my affection remains forgotten.
If only...
this pain would go away
- Sean
TAKEN ~episode I~
The moment I heard
you were taken
I almost fainted.
I felt like running away.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
Any place but here.
I fear I might get sick
if I see you two hold hands.
I fear I might vomit
if I catch you two kissing.
The thought of you taken...
crushes me.
I feel like giving up hope...
to move on to someone else.
No.
These feelings I have
can't just disappear.
I have to keep hope.
One day you'll break up.
I'll be waiting...
to take you
- Sean
It Can
It can't be.
What would people say?
What would people think?
These thoughts haunt me
and force me
to conceal my emotions.
When I see you...
you're beautiful smile,
it brightens my day.
What's so wrong with that?
Nothing.
Everything.
Battle after battle,
I try to decide
what really matters.
Will this war ever stop?
These feelings...
they feel so...right.
How can that be wrong?
Maybe today's the day.
Maybe, just maybe...
It Can
- Sean
Sleepless
I'm left sleepless
imagining a better life...
a life with you.
The countless thoughts
become too addictive.
I'm too afraid
to brave reality.
Minutes extend to hours...
until finally,
I fall into a sedated slumber.
The following day
I'm shaken by reality.
Longing for you
while reaching into darkness.
When night approaches,
so do the thoughts.
They numb the pain...
but feed the fire.
I can't take this anymore.
I ache for something more...
something real...
not just a fantasy.
Is this infatuation?
Is this a crush?
Or maybe...is this love?
I must know what this is.
I must eliminate
this suffering for good.
Someday, soon,
I'll tell you.
Until then...
Sleepless
- Sean
TAKEN ~episode II~
It's been so long.
I've tried to avoid you
whenever possible.
I wanted to forbid these feelings
from causing me pain.
I was mad...
mad that you were taken.
But, one day
I stumbled across your path.
I looked into your eyes...
your mesmerizing eyes.
Suddenly,
my feelings exploded
into a roaring fire.
Somewhere, somehow,
deep inside,
these feelings persevered.
Why?
Why must you be taken?
How is this possible?
If these feelings
don't disappear now,
will they ever?
Will I grow old
longing for you?
When I know
you're already taken?
When I know
you're with someone else?
I won't take this.
I don't want to wish
for someone I can't have.
I have to give up now
before it's too late.
Regrettably,
it seems that forever...
you'll be taken
- Sean
Looking Away
Every time our eyes
meet,
you keep looking away.
I feel...transparent.
Whenever I can,
I try to capture your attention.
Whenever I can,
I try to give you clues.
You just keep...
looking away.
Maybe...
If I try a little harder,
you'll notice me.
Every time you look away,
you kill a piece of
my heart...
my spirit...
my hope.
I try so hard
it hurts.
I just want you to know
that I care about you.
You're not required
to return my feelings.
Just...
stop looking away
- Sean
No Difference
I see beauty everywhere.
Dazzling flowers,
Dazzling smile.
Peaceful birds,
Peaceful eyes.
Cloudless sky,
Cloudless spirit.
I see nature's beauty.
I see your beauty.
I see no difference.
- Sean
Impossible
It's impossible.
Every time I see you,
my heart wrenches.
The pain is unbearable.
Every time I see you,
I remember.
I remember...
that it's impossible.
I will never be able
to hold your hand.
I will never be able
to stand beside you.
I've become dependant
on these feelings
for too long.
I've hoped
and believed
for too long.
Now it's pointless.
I cry myself to sleep
as I pray for a miracle.
My last hope
has been tested,
and worn out
to the point of failure.
Finally.
I've accepted it.
It's impossible
- Sean
TAKEN ~episode III~
Finally.
It finally happened.
I was ecstatic!
I rejoiced
when I learned
that you broke up.
I thought that
there was still a chance.
But sadly...
my rejoicing
didn't persist.
Two days later,
there was another one.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I just
tell you?
I guess...
it was never
meant to be.
But then...
maybe this is a sign.
Why won't you
sustain a relationship?
No.
I'm just
feeding myself
false hope.
It won't happen.
Even if you break up,
there'll be another.
Again...
you're taken
- Sean
They Say
They say
many things
about my poems.
They say
"You're obsessing!"
or
"You're a stalker!"
But they're wrong.
There must be other people
that have experienced these feelings.
The only difference
is that I tell the world.
...making myself vulnerable.
I choose to do this.
...to release my true feelings.
It's the only way
to tell my story.
It's the only way
for me to be heard.
Some even say
"That's sweet"
But I see the opposite.
To me,
I find pain,
agony,
and loneliness.
But the question
they reiterate is
"Who is it?"
When I don't answer,
Random names
are thrown at me.
But I keep silent.
'Cause I don't care
what they say.
- Sean
Drifting
I find myself
utterly lonely.
My mind
starts drifting...
drifting to you.
Suddenly,
I see you
sitting next to me.
Holding my hand,
looking into my eyes.
I don't feel alone anymore.
My heart fills
with happiness.
But then,
I remember the truth.
It's only a figment
of my imagination.
Slowly,
you start
drifting away
- Sean
Webblog
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Tuesday,
April 27th 2004 9:03PM |
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click to listen (turn off other music)
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Tuesday,
April 27th 2004 4:35PM |
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omg
i love my new layout! *totally psyched*. Well, its
now 9 days from when I officially "came
out." It happened on the Thursday two weeks ago
(i only counted school days). It's been a little
hectic, but ok i guess. I think it's too early to
judge whether it was a good or bad thing. Almost all
of my friends took it very well and support me. And
for the others....lets not get into that, shall we? lol.
Anyway, moving off that subject...I JUST PUT UP THIS
AWESOME LAYOUT!!!!! It looks soooo good. the only
bad thing is that it only works on some computers. i
guess i use too much advanced stuff on here that some
browsers dont recognize it. :o( . Im still updating
it and adding stuff, so keep an eye out! *winks*.
today was the second testing! we have to take these
stupid tests on every subject, ruin our schedule, and get
more sleep! lol. j/k. last thursday was history
(bombed!), and today was english. i think i did
pretty well, maybe a few errors (i hope a few lol).
I feel really put out right now, so I dont feel like
writing more. i may update this later. ttyl
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Sunday,
April 11th 2004 12:18AM |
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***note:
this was written before I put up this diary. Taken
from my old diary.***
okay.....*phew*... i just finished setting up a free web account
for a friend. And guess what i just found out?
do NOT talk via AIM for stuff like this. WAY too
much confusion. But I'm happy to help. It was
very interesting trying to get background music
instructions through to each other. In the end, She
just gave me her ID and password so i can edit it.
Now I get to spend tomorrow editting it. Man, I have
the worst sleeping patterns. It's already 12:15am.
It's Saturday too! I have school Monday! The
last 3 days ive been staying up until 3am. I dont
know if i will be able to fall asleep until then. I can
already imagine the sickness after being forced to wake up
at 6am in the morning for school. gosh, i cant type
much now. I gotta get to bed. ttyl. bye!
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Friday,
April 9th 2004 11:41PM |
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***note:
this was written before I put up this diary. Taken
from my old diary.***
OMG
OMG OMG!!!!!! YAAAAAAY! My internet is working
for once! Like...this will NOT last for long. This
is a rare moment. My computer is seriously f***ed
up. You should have seen my face when my internet
came up. It was like I just won the lottery.
I'm, like, dependent on this thing (don't know if that's a
good or bad thing . The past 3 days or so my
internet was ROBBED by a virus. I'm lucky to be
making this entry right now. Don't count on me
posting another entry for a while. I'm planning on
reformatting my whole computer to rid my computer of all
the bugs and parasites. So...about my day.
Hmmm.... I woke up at .... around 11:00 reluctantly
cursing my alarm lol. I ... *blushes*.... kinda made
a silly tradition. For the past 2 Saturdays around
noon (this week was Friday due to Spring Break), I've
taken a long walk around the community I live in. I
start at my house (duh) , and go to Starbucks first.
*a little note that has nothing to with this: Ok, so
this is how it went. My friends and I were hanging
out last Friday afternoon. We go to Starbucks due to
unanimity. We all get frapuccinos (who doesn't?).
And at the counter, guess what my friend says?! (keep in
mind, I go to this Starbucks EVERY MORNING) She goes
and tells everyone in the room my EMBARRASSING nickname.
Giggles. Now every time I go there I'm going to be
called that. * Ok...back to the main focus.
So... where was I? Oh ya...after Starbucks. So
after I get my frap, I walk over to a nearby canyon for a
little hike. At the end of the canyon, I reach my
school. I of course don't want to go there on a
weekend lol (or Spring Break), so I quickly detour.
I follow the road for about 1/5 mile until I reach another
canyon. There I slowly take my time to enjoy nature,
and get away from the electronic world. (by the
way...I have my iPod with me). I reach the local
pond and find a little secluded area where I can reflect.
If you thought otherwise, you're very perverted lol.
I just sit there in the shade with the cool breeze
ruffling my hair (im getting too into myself here lol).
I think of a life with "him" and how to
build my character into something to be proud of for about
20-30 min (im such a loser lol). Then I go up to the
nearby rec center and join with the road. I then go
to a local chinese restaurant where they have the BEST
teriyaki chicken. After that, I go to Baskin Robins
for a large smoothie (im such a fruit lol, which is a GOOD
thing lol). Then i just go home. nothin
special after that. This entry is pretty long.
Took me about 15 min. Wait.. I have more (bare with
me) . I have a quick question to all the gals readin
this. Is it wrong for a guy to look good? Is
it wrong for a guy to use skin products (no makeup) to
achieve that? Please comment on this entry .
I had a lot more stuff to say.. but i guess i got to
caught up in the previous stuff that i forgot. If I
remember, I'll be sure to make another post (that's
if my computer is working hehe). bye!
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Wednesday,
April 7th 2004 6:32PM |
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***note:
this was written before I put up this diary. Taken
from my old diary.***
ok..i was like planning on writing my first entry this
morning, but i kinda forgot about it, so plz forgive me.
lol.
So....i just got the idea of expanding my website and
making it better on Monday. (by the way, I was out
of town friday to tuesday night) I browsed for different
"extras" on the net on Tuesday (mid-day), so I
was like really frustrated that I couldnt start on it
because I was on my DAD'S computer and he didn't have
anything to make webpages. So, I saved all the links
for the following night when i was gonna be home (yaaay) .
So i ended up getting home at 11:50 PM!!!!!!!!!!, so I
dedicated myself to finish the site befor i went to sleep.
I ended up taking 4 HOURS creating that piece of sh**.
Okay...back to today. I* found out that the creeps
at the server who host my webpage allow ADULT CONTENT, and
when they have pop-ups, GUESS WHAT?! Up comes the
porn! I just found this out after a friend
told me. I never had this experience because i have
a pop-up blocker. Now I have to fing A NEW site to
host my webpage. I'm sooo pissed. I'm planning
on moving everything to Xanga, where it looks like crap
and i have to reformat EVERYTHING. Luckily, i have a
friend (currently BLOCKING me on AIM!!! the nerve) who
decided she might help with all the html.
I also found all these cool little scripts to add to my
site. They are sooo cool. And another thing
...*venting*... MY INTERNET is f***ed up! Sometimes
its working, sometimes IT'S NOT! Well..the funny
thing is....its always working, but some f***ing virus
wont let me on. I can still use AIM, but
NOT the net. *about to explode*. ok...i think
this is enough for now. bye!
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Gibberish Bulletin
4-26-04:
I'thgim s'thgorr'thgy. Th'thgere i'thgis n'thgo
b'thgull'thgit'gthgin r'gthgite n'thgow. I'thgim
j'thgust t'thgyp'thging th'thgis m'thgessa'thgage t'thgo
f'thgill u'thgup sp'thgace. I'thgif y'thgou
w'thgould l'thgike t'thgo p'thgost a'thgany'thgyth'thging
h'thgere, pl'thgease f'thgeel fr'thgee t'ghto
e'thgem'thgail m'thge! ;o) Th'thgis i'thgis a'thga
p'thgerf'thgect pl'thgace t'thgo pl'thgace s'thgecr'thget
m'thgessa'thgage'thges t'thgo fr'thgiends wh'thgo c'thgan
u'thgund'thgerst'thgand G'thgibb'thgeri'thgish!
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Love Test
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Layout and Content
© Sean |
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