"...these external manners of lament
Are merely shadows to the unseen grief."
- Shakespeare's Richard II

* * *

When they bring Dinobot's body back to the Axalon, Ratrap goes into the ex-Predacon's room. The room has always been poorly lit. Dinobot liked the way his beast form’s eyesight rose to the challenge. Ratrap doesn’t like the way it’s lit and he’s accused his former comrade of lurking in the shadows more than once. Ratrap stands there a moment in his beast form, smelling and seeing with eyes that can see in the dark just as well as Dinobot could. He transforms and shuts the door behind him.

He’s not sure what he came here for but then he rips the clone skin off the wall and he throws it across the room. Then he picks it up and throws it again. He throws all of Dinobot’s things, everything that isn’t bolted down. He works his metallic fingers underneath the mattress and flings it behind him. He reduces a potted fern to a mass of dark earth, roots and ceramic shards.

He leaps up on the wall to seize one of Dinobot’s ceremonial swords with both hands. He hangs there for a minute, feet kicking and scraping against the wall, until the sword’s fixtures give way under his weight. He lands on his back, the sword hilt driving into his chin almost hard enough to crack his transmetal skin.

It doesn’t stop him. He picks the sword up and throws it across the room. It bounces off with a high-pitched ping that sounds far too wrong for a deadly weapon. Ratrap reaches for the other sword, just able to reach this one while standing on his toes. He gets a good grip and tugs. He adjusts his feet and tugs again. The sword comes loose quickly but he keeps his balance.

He doesn’t pause to mock the shining blade, he throws it like a javelin. It hits the wall in a shower of sparks, piercing a power conduit and the resulting short-circuit opens the doors. It will probably bring the others running but he doesn’t care. He tries to grab the sword stuck in the wall but it zaps him and he can’t hold it. Instead, he hunts around in the mess until he finds the first sword. He throws that. It continues to make ever-so-wrong sounds as it bounces off the walls of Dinobot’s quarters – high, thin, beautiful, brittle sounds, like running a finger along the rim of a water-glass. Dinobot was none of these things, not to Ratrap.

At some point Silverbolt appears in the doorway but Ratrap doesn’t want to see his face. There are things he doesn’t want to know right now. Things he’s not ready to know yet. He throws the sword again. He hears Silverbolt clearing his throat but then Optimus is there, shaking his head. Ratrap’s next throw strikes near the door, which is the only reason he sees Optimus steering Silverbolt away with a hand on his elbow.

Rhinox stands into the doorway, his oldest friend. Ratrap doesn’t mind as much that Rhinox watches as the sword is thrown again. He still doesn’t want to see Rhinox’s face but he knows his buddy won’t give him any words he doesn’t want to believe in.

The sword strikes the wall at an odd angle and the metal blade snaps under the pressure. Ratrap scampers across the room to heft the largest shard in his hand and hurl it again at the wall. He continues until there are no shards left bigger than his hand and Rhinox leaves, the bigger bot shaking with the effort of what he wants to say.

Ratrap would miss Rhinox’s company if he had the energy for it right now. Instead, he falls into his beast mode and begins to rip the mattress to shreds with sharp teeth. He is angry at these belongings for reminding him of things he wants to forget. He wants to rip at his own chestplate until he doesn’t feel like his spark is dying and his vocal processor is seizing. He wants to fight with Dinobot and truly mean it, like he did when they first met. He wants but he can’t have. Because Dinobot is dead.

The End

The Beanbag | BeastWars