Should I?
Mood:  lazy

So, I came across the blog looking for baby pictures, and Joy got me into thinking that I should start blogging again. I haven't done it in forever, but now that I don't have too much to do, maybe I'll start up again. I don't think I'm as candid with my thoughts as I used to be, but I guess we'll see. I'm kind of having a Doogie Howser, MD moment reading my thoughts "out loud" but in my head.

I'm gonna see if there are better blogging sites out there or if I should just stick to this one. My website is all old and doesn't really work anymore, so I won't be updating that, but I don't think I'll be deleting it either. I put a lot of work into that thing, and it's kinda funny to look at it and see what was going on with me back then, which is one reason why I blogged in the first place. I like going back in time and reading about the funny and mostly ridiculous things I was typing about when I was in my early twenties.

I can't believe how old I am. How did I become 27 so fast?! I'm married to Kyle, who I blogged as "the love of my life", and I'm even back at the job that I hated so much. Well, not the same job but the same law firm. Whew! I guess I do have stuff to say...haha! Of course, I have to get permission from the husband to make sure it's okay for me to publish my life online. I just won't tell anyone unless they're interested, not that I'm interesting, but you get it. =) 

Sick Baby
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: "Until Yesterday" JC Chasez
Holy five months! Has it really been that long?! I guess so. I've been so busy with work and school that I haven't really had time to write anything. I guess you can say that I've been quite stressed with my job even though it's not really new anymore, but I'm happy to announce that after just five months of working there, they gave me a lovely little raise. Apparently, I have been doing quite a bit more than I was hired for, and I'm not complaining. Yay! But, with an increase in salary comes an increase in responsibilities. I was feeling a bit bombarded for a while, but now, it's just right. I don't feel as overwhelmed as I had been maybe a month ago, because I think people started to realize how much I was working. It got so bad that my heart palpitations came back, and I'm on meds for anxiety.

Speaking of meds, if you haven't caught up with me in the past couple of months, I've been to the hospital more than I think I've ever been in one year. Don't get too worried, because they haven't been too serious, but let's just say my body feels like it's falling apart. I mean I went to the hospital twice in 2005, and that was for an annual physical and for a minor case of tendinitis from walking around Disneyland with flip flops. I think a lot of it has to do with the weight loss and my body trying to get accustomed with its new self. I swear I'm not trying to lose weight; it just happens. I think it's because of the stress at work, but who knows?

As of right now, I'm laying on the couch watching the Food Network, because I'm sick. I have the flu. =( Yuck! It is not fun. My tummy hurts, and I'm on the chicken soup/saltine/7up diet. I want pizza! I want McNuggets! Feed me! I've missed the last two days of work, which I wasn't too excited about since I'll be using up all my PTO. Boo! Oh well. I'm carless and I didn't feel like going to work without being 100% and feeling all icky with no way of getting home. (My car's getting fixed from that accident I was in back in February. Finally!)

Kyle and I are flying to the Bay Area this weekend to attend the Bridge School Benefit concert at Shoreline. It's his birthday request. I'm not really into all the artists playing, but I wouldn't mind seeing Death Cab for Cutie. I love their super-depressing album Plans! My favorite is the morbid "I Will Follow You Into the Dark." It was the one that caught my ear when I first listened to the album. We're gonna be hanging out with Kyle's friends at the Sunday concert. I'm hoping to hang out with my family on Saturday and possibly partying with the cousins for Annie's birthday. I miss me a good party. I don't think I've had anything to drink in a while, probably because I'm on meds. But, let's just hope, there isn't a huge difference if I have a drink or two. I shall be the responsible one. =)

I'm excited for 2007 already. Both Justin and Christina will be on tour, and I plan on attending those concerts. I love their cd's, an I can't wait until JC's comes out too. The one song he has on his myspace page is pretty good in my opinion, so hopefully, the rest of his songs will be better and more consistent than his songs on his first album.

Pig Sandwich
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: "Bebot" Black Eyed Peas
I'm a freaking pig. I consumed a bajillion calories this weekend. It might be the PMS, or it might just be the lack of food I've been eating for the past six months. I'm not sure. I think I've lost ten pounds in the last year since I started dating Kyle, and I think it's because I've learned how to pace myself and how my body takes food. With the help of the love of my life, I've eaten a lot less than before, and the pigging out sessions haven't been so frequent, but now, I'm hungry. I want a nice, juicy burger...a turkey one of course. I've been watching the Food Network, and it's barbeque week. I want me some ribs. That's the one red meat product I would start eating meat for. Oh my God! The barbeque sauce goodness and the smoked flavor makes my mouth water. I haven't had them in ten years! I can't believe it's been that long since I had ham, roast beef, pork chops, etc. I'm missing out, but I probably won't ever go back.

I kinda hate trying to explain myself when I meet new people and have to eat with them, and I tell them that I don't eat red meat. They're usually surprised since most Filipinos are carnivores, and most Filipino dishes are made with pork and beef. I'm a freak I know. I don't eat fish either. All I eat is chicken, turkey, and shellfish, and I'm content with that. I'm glad Kyle loves chicken, and he doesn't crave meat that much. It works out nicely.

As for life right now, I really miss my family. I haven't seen them in almost six months, and I really can't wait to go home for the Apalitenos fiesta. I've been talking to my parents more lately, especially when after American Idol. I had the most hilarious conversations about the finalists with them, and I put my mom on speaker once so that Kyle could hear my mom talk about how devastated she was that Chris Daughtry got the boot. He was cracking up, and he's constantly imitating the way she said Elliot. He says she sounded like ET. Haha! I love my mom!

I Love Love
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: "I Swear" All-4-One
Hello! Life is going well. I have a new job at an estate planning/tax firm in La Jolla, and it's going alright. It's pretty busy, and I've been exhausted as of late, but I'm okay with it. Everyone seems really nice, and I feel like I'm taking a huge step forward in the accounting world.

Kyle and I celebrated our first anniversary, and we're still very happy together. Yay us! It's nice to know that I have someone like him to support me and to show me that he cares. It's great, and I love him very much. He's a wonderful guy. =)

So yeah, everything is going well for the most part. I miss my family and friends back home in San Francisco, but I will hopefully be seeing them soon. I've got some weddings to attend. Yay girlfriend!

Short-timers
Mood:  not sure
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. I got into a car accident, celebrated Valentines Day, and got a new job.

I was on my way to my interview in La Jolla when the accident occurred. I was going down on A Street, a one way, to get to the freeway, and this lady on 10th Street, also a one way, thought she could turn right, opposite the one way on A, but instead, she turned right into my car. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt, but my poor car is all messed up and scratched. I thought the lady had driven off, but she came back, and we exchanged information. I immediately called the police, but they didn't show up because there weren't any injuries; they told me to just call my insurance company. I called them, and now I have to take my car to the shop to get him fixed. Poor Steve Jr. I went to the doctor a couple days go, and he said I had muscle strain and prescribed some Flexeril. So, now I'm all drugged up and acting all sleepy and unhappy. Boooo! At least, it was just a minor thing; they doctor freaked me out by telling me lot of people die from that kind of collision.

On to happier times...I showed up at Kyle's place after work on Valentines Day, and he already had dinner for me. I must admit he's a pretty good cook, and he made me the best chicken fried chicken I've ever had because I could tell he put so much effort into it. It was yummy! I had a lovely Valentines Day, probably one of the best I've ever had, even if all we did was sit at home and watch TV after food. I love lazy nights.

And yay! I got a new job! I'm gonna be working at a law office in La Jolla, and it's fancy schmancy, man. They specialize in estate planning, and it's perfect for me because I would be doing billing for the lawyers and the CPAs. That's right! I said CPAs. Yay! It's a very pretty office with crown molding, french doors, oak and marble tables, etc. The head guy is supernice, and the ladies I'll work directly with are really nice too. I've been so ready for this change; maybe now, I'll actually be happy at work rather than constantly thinking about how great it was before everyone got fired or left. I will definitely miss the crazy characters at KTS, but it was pretty much eating away at me for the past few months. I've outgrown it, and I'm ready to handle more responsibilities. We'll see how it all ends up.

It Continues...
Now Playing: "Put Me In the Car" Ryan Gosling
I have decided to keep to myself today, which I guess is a good thing. I've said less mean things than usual, but that's only because I haven't said anything at all. I've been searching for jobs on the internet, and hopefully, one of the places I applied for will give me an interview. I'm just ready to get the heck out of here...I'm not happy...plain and simple. I can only handle so many fat jokes and diet plans. It's driving me crazy to the point where I am so incredibly sick of everyone. It may be hard to believe, but all this negativity and misery is making me lose my appetite. I'm not stressed; I'm just not enjoying myself right now, which I should be since I'm still young. I really don't get much of a sense of accomplishment at my job, so I think it's time to move on.

I miss my family. I miss my cousins. I'm missing out on all the good times, and it sorta saddens me when I see all their fun pictures. Why am I not there? What is it that keeps me here? I can think of a few things, but is it worth all this anguish? For the time being, it's a yes, but that'll probably change in a year or two. Who knows? I'm only twenty-four. There's time to figure it all out. It's time for a shopping spree...maybe. I don't really need anything, but it's my therapy. I miss Janine and Brandon, even if we were just sitting in the house, the four of us still had good times. Oh life...where are you taking me?

Misery Loves Company
Mood:  don't ask
I'm incredibly miserable right now. I haven't spoken a word to anyone, cuz I am just not in a socializing mood. I honestly think I need a vacation....away from San Diego, away from work, away from everything. Perhaps I should take a couple of days off and just drive somewhere by myself and go on a little adventure. Where should I go? Well, I have a three-day weekend next weekend, so maybe I will do something then. God, I really do not feel like being here. I am not a big fan of myself or my life...overdramatic, huh? I think I'm homesick, and I miss my parents. Maybe I'll feel better when I call my parents tonight. Apparently, according to Len, my mom is gonna have some huge ass extravaganza for her 50th birthday, and I'm kinda sad that I don't get to participate.

What happened to the days when everything was planned out for you? I wish I didn't finish school as early as I did. I miss the days when I could sleep in, choose when I was gonna go to class, stay up until dawn and just be silly with my dorm friends. Everything was so much easier then, and I never ever stressed...NEVER! Now, I'm just one big ball of anxiety, and I feel like my heart is gonna explode at any minute. Boooooooo!

Passion
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: "Music of My Heart" *NSYNC
I'm so over my job! I need some sort of change or maybe even a nice little vacation. I gotta get away from here. I'm just a bitch. It's difficult for me to get along with anyone, and I lack patience in people who treat other people like poop. That's not very nice now, is it? I'm just not one of those people who feels comfortable ordering people around and making them do things that I'm very capable of doing and have the time to do so. I'm all for "the little guy" and the underdog, and it just bugs me that people act all high and mighty. Booooo them!

I need to find something to be passionate about. I mean I have my family and my boyfriend, but I need to find some sort of career path. Yes, I'm second-guessing my accounting plan, but I'll always go back to it, cuz it's the clearest thing I've got going. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter if I'm good at something, cuz I wanna enjoy what I do. It doesn't have to be all fun, but I'd like to be able to go home everyday knowing that I accomplished something and that I was happy with the way it went. It's probably asking for a lot, since that's what everyone wants out of life, but I don't even know what my dream job would be if I had the choice to do anything I wanted. I would love to be a permanent taster for the Food Network shows minus Iron Chef...some of that stuff is nasty. But, that would make me fatter and ultimately unhappy with myself. Oh the giving and taking. Maybe I should just start popping babies out and becoming a stage mom....that would kinda suck if that was my destiny, wouldn't it? Haha!

Somewhere...
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: "Beyond the Sea" Bobby Darin
This is kinda random, but when I was in college, I called San Francisco home. It was acceptable then cuz everyone called the place their parents live "home". It's been three years since I graduated yet I still refer to going back "home" as going back to the Bay Area, even if I have chosen to live in San Diego without any real obligation to stay. Why do I do that? I haven't lived there in over six years, and when I go over there, it never actually feels like home. San Diego doesn't really feel like home either. Talk about an identity crisis. I'm hoping that someday, I'll be able to know where I belong and stay there and be happy. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that way, but I notice catching myself more when I say that word "home" and thinking that it's just not right. Yup, that's pretty random.

Another work week is coming to an end, but I must admit that I haven't felt more out of place and irritated as I do right now. I can't stand some people anymore, and nothing positive really comes out of my mouth or goes through my head when I'm here. There are just bad vibes everywhere. Every little thing gets on my nerves, and I don't quite hide my feelings anymore. What can I say? I'm a mean girl. My little group of friends are "the Plastics", the ultimate shit-talkers. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't judgmental, but shit, everyone's thinking it; I just don't hide it very well. I'm a negative person, but I think I've always been. Even as a child, I was obsessed with death and disaster. Lovely, huh?

I think I'm going through some sort of quarter-life crisis. I really do believe I can create a better life for myself, but I'm not really putting any effort into anything. I'm such a slacker. If I can get by doing the minimum, then I won't do any more. That's not good, but it probably won't change unless something drastic happens. Oh life. What is the meaning? I shall contemplate the answer as I call stupid clients and fax my brain away.

My Boo
Mood:  bright
I'm back! I'm addicted to myspace! I think everyone is, even Kyle. I love it. It does take up a lot of my free time, which probably won't be very often after I start my classes next month. I hate school. Yuck!

I have started reading. Sounds like no big accomplishment, but it's actually huge for me. I haven't read a book since college, and I don't even think I read whole books then. I finished the follow up to "The Notebook", "The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks, and I managed to do it in a weekend. I liked it a lot, and even if it's a pseudo-romance novel, I felt a little more intelligent. Maybe it was because I actually finished it, or maybe because it taught me something about men, but I enjoyed it. I'm gonna try to read "The Alchemist", which was recommended by Kyle.

Oh the love of my life. Hehe! We're doing well, and we're getting comfortable but also trying new things together, like playing tennis. Life is good. I would love to go on a vacation or something, cuz I have enough time off from work, but I don't really know what kind of vacation I'd take. I'd definitely want Kyle to be there, but with his new job, that probably won't happen for a while.