Our Back 2 School WAL*MART Special!

WHOO HOO! Bri finally let KB write something, she learned how to share ain't it sweet? ;)

It was Friday! The perfect opportunity for us to go on one of our Wal*Mart adventures! We needed stuff…we had lots of time to kill…and by golly, that store had been calling us for weeks. So Bri and I (along with our dear friend Malou, who is also the voice of reason within our musketeer faction) set off for what would become one hell of a night. It all started with James…my car. After walking the mile, mile and a half, to get to “The Cage” we located James and got inside all rearing and ready to go. Unfortunately, James was not. It seemed his battery was…well, dead. So after shouting some curse words and obscenities at myself, the vehicle (poor James), and other random objects, Bri (who remained calm and rational) went out in search of someone with jumper cables…Because, she was (as she put it) LOUD and could get their attention. After only a minute of searching the vast parking lot, Bri came upon three people that would assist us in revitalizing James. We take this moment now to thank those “good Samaritans” for their time…it’s just a shame they didn’t pay attention to us long enough to THANK THEM! (I’m not bitter…really) Anyway…Feeling a bit anxious about why the battery had died, I proceeded to drive the car to the Main Street Exxon to get an examination. It’s a real shame that boys think girls are supposed to know everything there is to know about the mechanical make up of an automobile. I especially enjoy being condescended to by those same boys. (Sensing the sarcasm?) “What’s wrong with your car?” “The battery was dead.” “It’s running now.” “That’s because I got it jump started.” “Why was it dead?” “I have no idea. I checked the lights, the doors, everything…Maybe it’s the lovely battery you installed last year. It could be faulty.” “Whatever. We’re perfect. We can’t be faulty. You can just drive it around.” “Oh, so the alternator will be able to charge it all?” “Of course (smugly) that’s what it’s there for.” (Glances to his friend and snickers) “Well thank you gentlemen, I believe I knew that. But it was out there for an awful long time.” “We just said the alternator would do it.” “Even after two weeks?” “The alternator will charge it if you drive around.” “WOW YOU’RE REDUNDANT…Try answering my question next time. For now, thank you for sacrificing your precious time. (sarcastically)” Note to you garage boys: You suck!

Moving along…after that little encounter (which is difficult to recreate in words) I was still feeling uneasy about my car’s battery. So I made Bri and Malou ride around campus, take a road trip to Wal*Mart in Christiansburg, turn around and drive back to campus (just in case it wouldn’t start when I cut it off). We parked the car, crossed our fingers, and turned off the engine. After a breath, I turned the key and *bam* the car started up. So basically, after all of this an hour and half had passed and we still hadn’t gotten to do our shopping. But we were determined because DAMMIT, we needed flavored water! (And a futon)

We headed back to Christiansburg, singing along to Animaniacs and Aerosmith (what a combination) and driving Malou insane. Upon arrival, I discovered the reason the battery had died. Too bad my trunk lock was broken therefore the door wasn’t staying shut, which in turn, kept the light on. So I had to climb in through the fold down seats in the back and tape my door shut from the inside. How ghetto is that?!?!?!?! Of course, fifty closer parking spaces opened up in the 20 minutes it took me to close the trunk…BUT HEY, a little exercise never hurt anyone. FINALLY, we had arrived!! Wal*Mart was looking good to us…and it had only taken us two hours to get there!

The one rule about Wal*Mart shopping that we will share with you now is that you don’t just go to Wal*Mart to pick up the things you need. You must explore, walking up and down each isle (especially toys) because HEY, there could be something there you didn’t know you needed. We obeyed that rule…and since it was a Super Wal*Mart, we were there for a long time. We’ll skip the boring stuff because it’s basically us shopping…BUT, there are a few things that you need to know. First of all, you know those carts that never want to go straight and always veer to the left/right and make steering difficult?? Well I GOT THAT CART! That was an endurance test right there. I almost ran over some poor little 4 year old. Second of all, WE FOUND RANDY THE POODLE! Our puppy collection is almost complete. Bri also found her futon, which she had been trying to purchase for several weeks. The three of us put together filled up two carts full of flavored water, juice, food, and oh yeah, the stuff we came for. It was also really funny watching Bri try to lift the futon box! She ended up pushing it to the check-out line.

Of course we would pick the cashier that enjoyed a slow paced life. I think we stood in line for 30 minutes waiting for her to finish the people in front of us along with purchasing our fifty million items. Bri played “bag girl” to move things along. Unfortunately, all of our stuff was together (which would make later matters difficult). Two boys behind us asked “Are you girls just moving into an apartment.” All I did was laugh. The situation seemed too funny.

At that moment, the question that haunted our minds was “Will James start?” Using THREE carts this time to relocate our purchases, we managed to get everything to the car in ALMOST perfect condition. Me being a goofball dropped the VT Hokie cake Bri had bought on the ground, flipping it upside down, and getting it stuck to the top of the case. I felt bad…because I care.

When we made it back to the car, I got down on my knees and begged James to be all right and start for us. I shouldn’t have worried. He didn’t let us down. Happiness and giddiness consumed me. But then I realized the futon was too big to fit through the back door. I thought, “SHIT, I taped the trunk shut…let me climb back in and take it all off.” Thank goodness Bri and I were trained in problem solving (thanks to all of that time spent in the Leadership Community). With the help of Malou, (and taking the futon out of its box) we managed to load EVERYTHING into the car. Too bad it only left enough room for two people to fit comfortably. Poor Bri had to ride smooshed up in the back seat, buried by a box of fluff, a futon, forty Wal*Mart bags, and of course, the upside down Hokie cake. If only we had a picture.

So we made it back to the Campus…alive…and only slightly frazzled. But we still had to unload everything and take it to their designated rooms. OOPS! Everything was mixed together and the three of us lived in separate dorms on opposite ends of campus. DAMMIT, we never seem to catch a break. Plus, I was a bit worried about getting a ticket since I was parked in a space assigned specifically for “Service Vehicles.” So while two toted things to the top, the other stayed behind sorting through everything deciding what belonged to whom. If only I had a nickel for all of the weird looks I got that night…especially from the people that watched me wiggle my way through the back seat to the trunk door so I could once again, tape it shut.

IT TOOK US FOREVER…but by 11:30 we had everything unloaded and almost where it was supposed to be. So what started as a routine visit to Wal*Mart turned into a five and a half hour nerve fest with one problem after another. I swear…only we could manage to pull that off. We’re mad at Wal*Mart right now…I’m madder at the dumb garage boys…But I’m just going to have to vent for a while about Wal*Mart until I need to get more flavored water. *PHEW!!!* That’s it…I’m done with my novel. BYE BYE.

BRI: Finnally...

KB: SHUT UP! YOU'RE DUMB!

BRI: Heeheehee... 831 KB :)

KB: *sigh* 831 Bri :)