*On Tour With The Puppies!*



We would love to go on a summer tour with *NSYNC! They might like it all that much, because we might scare them, but we'd think they'd learn how to deal with it since we're girls and all. ;) (Those poor puppies didn't get Destiny's Child for their NSA tour, POOR BOYS! We know Christina's a mean stealer girl, it's okay , there, there...)

We think it would be so much fun, just because we know we would go on tour prepared. We would bring our trusty water pistols, because you never know when they might come in handy for sneaky geurilla tactics. We can just see it now. We make everyone stop at WAL*MART (at 3am... :) )so we can pick up diet coke and the game monkey's in a barrel (because, hell, what can be more fun than MONKEY'S IN A BARREL??? HAHAHAHAHAHA... okay so it wasn't that funny...) Then when *NSYNC passed by our parked tour bus they would see water and monkeys smacking against the window. Then as we come out of the bus dripping wet, and hair all messy, casually explain to them that KB got bitter that she couldn't string more than three monkeys together, so she threw the game against the window, then Bri upset because she was winning the game made a surprise "gorilla" warfare attack with the water pistol, then it was ("ONION!") full fledged WAR! We think they'd understand, or not and run away...

We'd also constanly pick on them at meal times, especially JC and his eating habits, and how he NEVER chews, and how we would try to teach him to chew on this tour. We'd also try to convince JC to start looking at people and at cameras, can you tell that the boy NEVER looks directly at anyone??? We'd just want to hold his head in a gaze for 30 full seconds, that should break the habit. We'd also stick glow sticks in Lance's pillow to see if he really can't get to sleep with ANY light showing whatsoever.

Then we'd go to the sound checks, and take the microphones and use them to sing over the boys, even if we were or weren't singing the same song, we wouldn't care, we'd be so bad we can imagine the sound technicians chaining us to the stage so we wouldn't touch anything. We'd also tell the puppies to shake their asses more (yeah, giddy up, ride, it, whoo....), and tell Justin and Chris to get a room, and then tell them we hope they don't fall as we watch them fall on their asses. :) Also we's love to sit there and make fun of the stupid "We say N!" cheer the puppies do, in fact you should try to do it at a concert, no one will hear you but you, but still it's pretty damn hilarious here's a few we came up with: "WE SAY N, YOU SAY SYNC! N...."

-side, -doors, -seam, -jured, -jury, -out, -stead, -clude, -complete, -valuable.. or you can always just sit there and not say anything at all or just scream back NO! :)

And of course we'd always ask the boys to sing songs to us on the bus ride, we either see them being like sure, like we bet if we'd ask JC to sing "Mysterious Ways" he'd probably do it for us, but if we asked them sing when they were grumpy they'd probably get all pissed off and be like "WE SING ALL FUCKING DAY! WHAT THE FUCK? NO WE'RE NOT SINGING A FUCKING SONG FOR YOU! WE'RE SINGERS DAMMIT!"

Also we'd love to tease the boys during their performances we'd love to sneak up quietly behind them and dance or act weird during the serious and romantic songs, cause (duh) they're boring and something funny has to be going on during them! We can just see the puppies being all confused at why the audience is laughing while they are singing GMHSALMTOY, not knowing that we are mocking their dance behind their backs... :) OH yeah, and introduce *NSYNC as "JC Chasez and the four other guys who don't sing all that much"... :)

For our own personal tour staff, we not only want COOLER bodyguards than *NSYNC's (That might be hard, we might just have to steal theirs... ;) ), but we want to find five awesome band members named Bob, Harry, John, Fred, and Ishmael. We don't care who plays what or if that is their real names, we just demand that we be able to change their names to those! Just so we could eat Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Ice Cream on our tour bus and then call Ishmael "Ishy Fishy"! Don't ask us why, we just think it would be cute and we would crack up hysterically from someone letting us call him Ishy! :) We would do a little tribute to him and his family in each of our shows!

And that;s only like the first week of the tour, We're sure that we could come up with tons of other crap for the other 4 months we'd be on tour... Hey we figure it's only fair, the boys pick on each other, therefore it makes it okay for us to pick on all of them! :)

While were talking about *NSYNC (like we haven't doine that throughout the entire fucking page...) We want to know WHY WON'T THEY PICK US AS THE GIRLS IN THEIR NEXT VIDEO?????? We would love to be the girls in their "Digital Getdown" Video when they make it, because it is an awesome song!! Can't you just see it as a cross between TLC's "No Scrubs" and Jennifer Lopez's "If You Had My Love"? Except it would have the coloring, except maybe darker, of "BYE BYE BYE". We just see the whole internet thing going with the boys are stalkers locked in their dark bedrooms late at night, and then a room with a HUGE screen as the back wall with girls grinding to the song on it while the puppies dance in front. Hey it's got all the pop and all the sex, we think it's a pretty good compromise, and we think we should eb the girls in it, come on they could pick any girls in the world, but hey we're giving them the idea right here and volunteering! We know they'd like it and the fans would like it and MTV would play it, so come on puppies what do ya say? We're no tthat scary, we don't bite (hard) LET US BE IN YOUR VIDEO DAMMIT! :)

Come on, they picked Kim Smith for the last video, who wasn't legal ( AND WE ARE SO THERE! :P ) And she's a picky and whiny bitch who just looked like she was in SO much pain for doing something other than trying on clothes and walking down a runway. She looked so upset to be there, like she didn't even know who these guys were, she didn't want to touch the dogs, she thought jumping on a train was hard, she cringed when Wayne Isham hugged her (WE LOVE YOU WAYNE!!!!) COME ON! We'd at least sing and dance and act and make jokes and BE FUN to work with!!!! We can be picky and whiny bitches too! If we do will you sing a song about us boys? Will you let us be in your videos? Is that all your criteria is? We can even do a damn good impersonation of Kim Smith if you really want us to, if that's what you really want! Hey, Bri's from Dallas, TX. So come on puppies, you know you want to pick us for your next video and tour... just think about it, have your people call, um, well, US! :)