*How to Speak Chasez*

How Does One Speak Chasez?

True scholars have been baffeled many years tring to understand what this clever boy is saying. Unlike his bandmate, Justin Timberlake, who is just plain stupid, JC Chasez is far beyond normal intelligence and speaks sometimes in his form of higher communication. But with a little time, effort and dedication, I have decoded his redundancy for it to make sense to those not as fortunate to be as intulectually gifted as this boy. With practice and hard work you too can be able to speak Chasez and perhaps one day communicate with the genius himself.

Lesson 1: REDUNDANCY

JC often repeats himself while speaking, I have come to the conclusion that this is beacuase no one else is up to his high intulectual standards and therefor hie must repeat himself to get his point across and make those around him understand what he is saying.

"We were in disbelief, I mean, we just couldn't believe it." --We were astounded at our enormous popularity in such a short amount of time.

"My fly broke and my pants were just wide open, they were just wide open and no one bothered to tell me about it." --The zipper on my jeans had become disfunctional and because everyone could see my underwear I suffered a great embarrassment.

"We're just a really in your face band, this album is really in your face." --We stand out in the music business because of significant recordings we produce.

Lesson 2: SURFER TALK

JC sometime in the late 1980's was on a show called "MMC" in this show he was typecast somewhat into a surfer role. He had to speak in this common jargon for many seasons on the "MMC" and many of his quotes in this section extend from that period.

"Don't cop a 'tude, dude." --My friend, please do not get offended at what I have said.

"I'm so confused, my dome's pounding." --That particular class is extremely difficult, I have a headache because of the poor administration of the learning material.

"She sure looks like fun, if you like that kind of fun, anybody want a peanut?" --That girl looks like she would enjoy a good time with me, but I know my friends do not like her, and I don't want to upset my friends, so I shall offer them nutritional peanuts instead of asking her out.

Lesson 3: WEIRD NOISES

JC Sometimes has a tenbdancy to create interesting noises in his vocal capabilities. It is just his way of communicating to the people around him of certain emotions he might be feeling or his particular stance on issues that effect him.

"Growl, growl." --My word, that young lady looks extrememly beautiful, I think I shall show her my compliments in song.

"Cah!" --Unfortunately, I am at a loss for words and I cannot come up with anything to say to recover from my past communication blunders.

"Grr.." This song is particularly frustrating, I wish the other 4 boys in the band could be as focussed and controlled as I am.

Lesson 4: SARCASM

JC at times may seem to be a tad sarcastic and bitter, but I assure you it is just his way of communicatiung his true feeling s and what is bothering him inside, this is commendable because not many people today tend to express how they truly feel...

"My hobby's sleep, which I don't get to do very much. THANK YOU!" --I enjoy a rousing nap every once in a while, but unfortunately, due to my demanding schedule I cannot do what I enjoy that often.

"It's not Beatle-mania, but it's pretty kewl." --Fame is an interesting thing, we're famous among lots of girls aaround the world, but the ones who originated that fad were The Beatles, we're not exactly like that band, but still we enjoy the popularity.

"And the winner is, ooooooohhhhhh....." --As I try to open this envelope which contains the winner's name I will stall time and try to get the audience excited and anticipatingthe answer this envelope holds!

There you see! You are well on your way to understanding the way JC Chasez talks and thinks! More lessons to come, but try to master these before moving on to my next paper on Mr. Chasez. Good Luck!