Nick stood on stage and looked at the audience in front of him. It was the day that was supposed to be his and Julie's three-month anniversary. Tears threatened to start pouring out of Nick's eyes, but he held them back. There were close to 30,000 people there, waiting for the Backstreet Boys to start singing again. As he prepared to sing the hardest song he has ever sung in his life, images of Julie flashed through his mind. He could still hear her laughing, smell her perfume, and feel her kissing him. As he fought back tears, he raised his hand for the audience to quiet down a little and began to speak.
"Right now, we would like to sing a song for you which is very special to me, as well as to the rest of the group. This song is called "Watching from Above" and I wrote it just a few short weeks ago. We dedicate this song to my soulmate and a good friend of the rest of the group, Julie. She died only a few weeks ago from a horrible car accident. She was a wonderful person and I know that I will never find someone like her again as long as I live. So Julie, this one is for you." He said that and looked up at the sky, hoping that Julie is somewhere up there, watching him.
Nick heard the familiar notes of the beginning of the song, he took a deep breath and started singing: (note: not a real song, I made it up)

"Not long ago, we both took a chance
But everything changed in a glance
One second you were there, the next you were gone
And I'll never stop feeling alone from now on
I'm glad you told me, how you felt back then
Or else we would've never had this romance

I wish you were here with me
Cheering me on and believing in this
But you are not here
And I'm all alone
You are my angel who's
Watching from above

Life is not fair, I know that right now
You never deserved, to end up this way
You're in my heart, and that's where you'll be
Forever and ever, you'll never leave
I loved you more, than life itself
So why am I here, and you're up above?

I wish you were here with me
Cheering me on and believing in this
But you are not here
And I'm all alone
You are my angel who's
Watching from above

I blame myself, over and over for this
I think that I could've done something
To stop you from going, to keep you right here
But now it's too late, to think about that

I just want you to know, I think about you
Everyday of my life since you died
Our love is eternal, so it's not the end
We will be together again one day

I wish you were here with me
Cheering me on and believing in this
But you are not here
And I'm all alone
You are my angel who's
Watching from above

Watching from above

Spoken: I'll never forget you Julie, I love you always"

As soon as the song was done, Nick ran off the stage because tears just started to pour out of his eyes and memories of Julie washed over him and it was too much to take. Thankfully it was the last song of the concert and soon the other four guys joined him backstage. This was the first concert of their U.S. tour and this was the first time that Nick had sung this song in public.
"Nick man, are you okay?" asked Brian.
"No, I don't know if I can ever sing this song again." Said Nick through tears. "It brings back too many memories of Julie."
"I know it does, she was our friend too. We all have memories of her that just sneak up on us and hit us like a bucket of ice water. I actually at one point looked at the audience tonight and expected to see her in the front row, singing along with all of the songs like she always did. I forgot for a second that she's really gone and I don't think any of us will ever be completely over this tragedy. We just gotta take this one day at a time." Said Brian in a comforting voice. "Nick, we all understand that this hit you worse than any of us and we know that it will take you a very long time to get over Julie, if you ever will. For now, just try to think of the good times that you shared with Julie, and how much fun they were…"
"But I never got to say good-bye!" interrupted Nick in frustration. "She just died and never said good-bye!" he broke down crying harder than before.
"Nick we know how you feel but you gotta understand…" started AJ.
"No you don't! You have NO idea how I feel! Your girlfriends are all alive and well right now, while mine is gone and she's NEVER coming back!!" screamed Nick and threw the glass he was holding against the wall and it shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Then he stormed out of the room.
Brian was about to go after him when Kevin stopped him.
"Let him go, he needs to be alone right now. He needs to sort all of this out." Said Kevin.
*~*~*
Nick ran out of the hallway and outside into the bus. He was mad at the world but most of all, he was mad at himself. He felt like if he would've just told Julie not to go to the store that day, that they didn't need soda; she would be right there with him, smiling at him from the audience and singing along. He lay down on his bunk and because he was so physically, mentally, and most of all, emotionally exhausted, he fell asleep within five minutes, still crying. He then had a dream.
He was on the beach and the waves were coming in slowly and washing over the shore in a peaceful way. The beach stretched out for miles and there was no one there but him. Then, all of a sudden, he saw a figure dressed in white coming towards him. He realized that it was Julie. She was dressed in a long white dress, with her hair spilling over her shoulders. To Nick, she had never looked more like an angel than she did then.
"Julie?" he said in an uncertain voice.
"Yes, it's me Nick." Answered Julie.
"I can't believe you're here." Nick rushed up to her and hugged her and kissed her repeatedly. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."
"I have a pretty good idea, since I've missed you just as much." Said Julie in a lighthearted voice. "But Nick, I'm here to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"You gotta stop blaming yourself for what happened to me. It wasn't your fault, there was nothing that you could've done, believe me. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye to you. I really wanted to, but my body just wouldn't let me come out of the coma long enough to say that to you. I'm here now to tell you that I love you with all my heart and soul and that you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I cherish every memory that I have of you and I together, and those memories will remain in my heart forever."
"Julie, I love you so much, how am I supposed to go on without you?" asked Nick; his eyes were getting filled with tears once again. He saw Julie's eyes do the same.
"You have to let me go. It's not easy, but you have to try. I want you to be happy and I want you to enjoy your life. The one thing I've learned from all of this is that life is a precious gift and it can be taken away without warning. You said it yourself; you must "live life to the fullest for the future is scarce"."
"You remember that?" asked Nick with a slight smile. That was the quote that he wrote in his special code in his Millennium thank yous.
"Yes I do, so please, for me, follow your own advice and live life to the fullest Nick. You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow or the day after that." Pleaded Julie.
"I know in my mind that you're right, but my heart hurts so much, I don't know if the pain will ever go away." He hugged Julie tightly and never wanted to let go.
"It will go away, I promise you, just give it time, I can't tell you how much time because honestly, I don't know. For now, just take it one day at a time and keep telling yourself that what happened is not your fault. It never was and it never will be. When you wake up from this dream, look in your hand, you'll find a part of me there." Said Julie.
"Look in my hand? What does that mean?" asked Nick.
"You'll see, but now I have to go."
"NO! You can't leave again." Begged Nick. He was holding on to Julie in an attempt to prevent her from leaving.
"I have to, remember what I told you and remember that I love you, forever." Said Julie. She then leaned in and gave Nick a long kiss and then she began to fade.
"No, Julie!" cried Nick.
"Goodbye Nick, I love you." Said Julie softly and then disappeared. Her last words hung in the air.
"Goodbye Julie. I love you too." Whispered Nick. He then saw the beach fade and the next thing he knew, he was back in his bunk on the tour bus. He remembered what Julie said and looked at his hands. In his right hand, he held a white gold chain and on it was the promise ring that he had given Julie a month before. He took it in his hands and saw that something was written on it, he looked closer and saw the inscription. It said "Nick + Julie = eternal love". He put the chain on his neck and felt the ring against his chest, right near his heart. He then realized that he felt better than he had in weeks and he knew that it was because he finally got to say goodbye to Julie. The pain of losing her was still there and it was still strong. But Nick knew that in time he would get through it. He had his friends and his family there to help him. He then took a deep breath, got up, and went to join the rest of the group.

chapter 13 sequel