Remembering is Hard

Kevin’s point of view

“Excuse me?” I asked not believing what I just heard.
“I said who are you,” repeated Liz. She had a glazed look on her face.
“What do you mean who am I? I’m Kevin,” I replied.
“Kevin, okay, and who am I?” she asked. Panic shot through me as I realized that Liz couldn’t remember anything. She had amnesia.
“You’re Elizabeth Lenie,” I responded.
“Why am I on the floor?” asked Liz once again. I tried to come up with an answer but was unable to. Liz couldn’t remember anything about herself or her life. What was I supposed to do?

Nick’s point of view

“How’s your breathing?” asked Brian for what must’ve been the millionth time that hour.
“My breathing is fine,” I snapped. “Can I get up now?” I asked annoyed.
“Yeah, go ahead,” said Brian giving up. I grinned and immediately jumped out of the bed and put on my shoes. “And where do you think you’re going?” asked Brian as he saw me reach for my car keys.
“To see Liz at Kevin’s,” I replied.
“I don’t think so, you’re supposed to stay here and Liz is supposed to stay at Kevin’s,” said Brian shaking his head. “I know you miss her, but you gotta hang in there until this whole thing blows over,” he added.
“But it’s so hard!” I groaned.
“I know it is, just hang in there okay?” said Brian and gave me a pat on the shoulder.
“Alright, I’ll hang in there, but I won’t be happy about it,” I grumbled.
Brian started laughing and then his cell phone rang. “Don’t go anywhere,” he warned and the walked out of the room to talk on the phone.

Brian’s point of view

“Hello?” I said turning on my phone.
“Bri, you gotta get over to the hospital fast!” said Kevin in an urgent voice.
“What happened?” I asked worriedly.
“Liz fainted at my house today, but she hit her head on a table in the process of falling and now has amnesia!” exclaimed Kevin.
“WHAT??” I yelled.
Nick heard me yell and came out into the hallway. “What happened?” he asked. I waved at him to be quiet.
“Are you sure?” I asked Kevin.
“Considering the fact that she asked me who I was and who she was, I’m very sure,” replied Kevin tensely.
“Okay, we’re on our way,” I said and hung up the phone. I then turned to Nick. “Something happened to Liz,” I told him and Nick’s face went pale.
“I KNEW IT!” he yelled. “I should’ve called Kevin and told him everything!” he yelled again.
“What are you talking about?” I asked puzzled.
“I spoke to Liz earlier and she said that she was dizzy and nauseous, but she didn’t tell Kevin, I knew I should’ve called and told him!” exclaimed Nick.
“Wow, Nicky, before you blame yourself for this, you might want to know exactly what happened,” I said trying to calm him down.
Nick sighed wearily and looked at me. “What?” he asked.
“Liz fainted and hit her head, she has amnesia,” I replied.
“Amnesia?” asked Nick croakily.
“Yeah, come on, we’re going to the hospital,” I said and grabbed my keys off of the table next to me. Nick followed me silently letting everything that I had told him sink in.

Liz’s point of view

I was scared. There were people all around me, doctors I was guessing. They kept talking to the dark haired guy, who brought me to the hospital, and taking notes. I think he said his name was Kevin. But Kevin who? I couldn’t remember. He told me that my name was Elizabeth Lenie, that name did not sound familiar to me at all. All of a sudden two more guys rushed into my room. One was a tall blonde and the other was shorter and a darker blonde. I sank further into the bed in an attempt to get away from all the people.
“Liz?” said the tall blond one softly. I could see tears in his eyes, but why?
“Who are you?” I asked shakily.
“It’s me Nick,” he replied and I could see that my question hurt him, but why?
“Nick?” I asked trying desperately to remember, but I couldn’t.
“Yeah, don’t you remember?” he asked quietly.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know who you are,” I replied.
“I’m your boyfriend,” he said sadly.
“My boyfriend?” I repeated. “Do I…do I love you?” I asked.
“You said you did,” he responded as more teardrops fell from his eyes.
“Do you love me?” I asked.
“With all my heart,” he said and I could see that he meant it. But I couldn’t recall any feelings that I had for him.
“I’m sorry,” I said lowering my eyes.
“It’s okay, I know you will remember,” he said reassuringly. Then two more guys ran into my room. They both had dark hair and one of them had a lot of tattoos. They started talking animatedly to the doctors and to the other three guys. I closed my eyes and tried to shut everything out. A few minutes later I fell asleep.

Nick’s point of view

I looked at Liz’s sleeping form on the bed and my heart broke in half. I couldn’t bear to see her that way. She was so vulnerable and I was helpless in doing anything to help her remember.
I turned to the doctors. “It’s not permanent right?” I asked fearing the worst.
“No it’s not, but we’re not sure when exactly she will get her memory back,” replied one of the doctors.
“So what do we do in the meantime?” asked Kevin. He felt guilty; I could see it written all over his face.
“You should surround her with things that should be familiar to her, get her back into her regular routine, the more normality she has in her life now, she faster her memory will come back,” said the doctor.
“So we can take her home?” I asked.
The doctor looked at me quizzically. “All five of you live in the same house?” he asked.
“No, Liz lives with me, the rest of the guys are very good friends of ours,” I replied deciding not to go into details.
“Where are her parents?” asked another doctor.
“Her mother is in San Francisco, away on a business trip for the entire summer, she is unreachable,” replied Howie.
“Oh okay, and yes, you can take her home,” said the doctor.
We all sighed in relief.
A few hours later Liz, me, and the rest of the guys walked through the front door of my house.
Liz walked in slowly and looked around. “You have a beautiful house,” she told me.
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “Come on, I’ll show you where your room is,” I said and Liz followed me up the stairs. While I was walking I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t strong enough to handle the situation. Liz needed me to be there for her in her time of need, but what if I couldn’t?

Liz’s point of view

I walked into the room that Nick had said was mine. I could see pictures of myself and other people on the dresser, but I had no idea who those people were. Everything in the room seemed strange and unfamiliar to me. I slowly walked over to the closet and saw clothing in there that I assumed was mine. I looked at every piece of it trying to conjure up some memory, any memory, but all I got was a big blank in my mind.
“Are you okay?” I heard Nick ask. I had forgotten that he was in the room too.
“I guess so, as okay as I can be under the circumstances,” I replied turning around to face him. “Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Anything,” said Nick.
“Who are those other four guys?” I asked referring to the guys who were with me in the hospital.
“They are my closest friends in the entire world, we’re like brothers,” responded Nick. “You’ve become very good friends with them also. You see, me and the four of them are in a group called the Backstreet Boys,” explained Nick. “You’re staying with me during the summer while your mom is in San Francisco on her business trip and we’re in between tours,” he said.
“Oh, so are you guys famous?” I asked.
“Yeah, you could say that,” said Nick modestly.
I sighed deeply. “I wish I could remember something, anything!” I exclaimed and went outside to the balcony. I heard Nick come up behind me and I felt his hand on my shoulder.
“You will, I know you will,” he said reassuringly and I don’t know why, but I believed him.

Nick’s point of view

“How is she?” asked Kevin as soon as I came back downstairs.
“Confused, helpless,” I replied and sat down on the couch. I put my elbows on my knees and rested my chin on top of my hands. “I don’t know how we’ll get through this, I’m scared,” I admitted.
“It’ll be okay Frack,” said Brian trying to comfort me along with everyone else.
“Liz will get her memory back,” added AJ. “She has to.”
“She’s strong, she’ll get through this,” said Howie.
I sighed. “I hope you guys are right about this,” I said.
“We are, you’ll see,” promised AJ.
“I want to help her so much, I just don’t know how,” I said helplessly.
“Just be there for her, she needs you now more than ever,” said Brian softly.
“You’re right,” I agreed and then looked at Kevin, he was sitting on a chair staring off into space. “Kev?” I said and he turned around at the sound of his name.
“What Nicky?” he asked.
“Don’t blame yourself for this,” I said shaking my head. “It’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it? She was in my house, I was supposed to keep her safe,” said Kevin.
“You didn’t know that she wasn’t feeling well,” I said and a stab of guilt went through me. ‘But I did,’ I added silently.
“But I should’ve guessed it when she said that she was going to lie down and that her headache got worse, I should’ve went with her and looked after her!” exclaimed Kevin.
“Kev, it’s not your fault,” said Brian repeating my words. “There was nothing you could’ve done,” he added.
“Besides, if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” I said and all the guys except Brian, who already knew what I was talking about, looked at me.
“What do you mean?” asked Howie. “You were at Brian’s when it happened,” he said confused.
“That’s true, but I spoke to Liz on the phone hours before she fainted and she said that she was feeling nauseous and dizzy, I wanted to call Kevin, but I didn’t,” I said hanging my head down in shame.
“Why didn’t you call?” asked Kevin softly.
“Because Liz didn’t want you to know, and I knew that if I called you, you would immediately go up to her and she would know that I called and told you,” I explained.
“Don’t blame yourself Nick,” said Kevin and I could see that he meant what he said.
“And you should take your own advice,” said AJ to Kevin chuckling slightly.
“I know that you’re right, I just can’t help but feel responsible,” said Kevin sighing in frustration.
“Welcome to the club,” I said wryly and Kevin laughed softly.
“Okay guys, I think we should go,” said Howie getting up. “I think Liz might be overwhelmed a little if we all hang around here 24/7,” he added.
“Yeah, that and I’d get sick of you four,” I said laughing.
“Watch it Nick, we don’t necessarily need a young blonde in the group,” warned AJ lightheartedly.
“Well how would you get any fans without me?” I asked grinning mischievously.
“Ha ha,” said Kevin dryly.
“I thought it was funny,” I said shrugging.
“Sure you did,” said Howie. The guys then all got up and left.

Liz’s point of view

I was looking through the dresser in my room trying to find something that might give me some memories. All of a sudden I felt a bulge under one of the shirts. I carefully lifted the clothing and found a journal. I took it out and sat down on the bed with the journal in my hands. I felt like I was invading someone’s privacy even though I knew that the journal was mine. I opened it and flipped to the last few entries.

July 19, 2001
Today I realized that what I felt for Nick was more than just a crush. I’m really falling for him. I have no idea how this happened. I mean I’ve hated the guy for as long as I can remember, how is it possible that I have all these feelings for him now? It’s weird. I don’t think that he shares my feelings though…okay, so I did catch him staring at me a couple of times in the past few days but he’s a guy, I saw Brian and AJ staring at me too, that doesn’t mean a thing. Do I wish that Nick had feelings for me? I’m not sure. I mean it would be great if the feeling was mutual, but I don’t know if things would get weird, I mean we do live in the same house. Right now Nick is not home, actually he’s not even in the country LOL he and the guys are in Germany recording some songs. So I have this huge house all to myself. I walk around looking at different pictures of Nick and his family and friends. I gotta admit, he looks great in any picture, no matter what his pose, attire, or face expression is. How does he do it? Thousands (quite possibly millions) of girls scream his name at concerts and would do almost anything to meet him, but he still remains so down to Earth, just a regular guy. He doesn’t let it get to his head, none of the guys do. I do have feelings for him, but I also admire and respect him. He’s like the ultimate nice guy. He’s sweet, funny, good-looking (a lot of emphasis on that characteristic, okay, I’ll say it, the guy is GORGEOUS! LOL), honest, trustworthy, and a whole lot more. Sounds great right? That’s my opinion too. That’s it, when he gets back from Germany; I’m going to tell him how I feel. If he feels the same, great! If he doesn’t, I can always move out and go live with Brian (lol) okay, I wouldn’t do that, but I would handle it.

I finished reading and closed the journal. I couldn’t even imagine that I was the person who wrote those words; they seemed so foreign. It was like something out of a dream that I had long ago and had forgotten about till then. Maybe if I read the entire journal, I would remember something. It was worth a try. I settled myself more comfortably on the bed and began reading.


chapter 13 chapter 15