You Go, I Go

You Go, I Go - Part Two

Yes I am,” Brian lied. In his heart he didn’t feel as if he had lied, Nick was a
brother to him, just not the technicalities of being flesh and blood.


The doctor flipped open Nick’s chart and quickly thumbed threw the growing
stack of papers in it.


“We’re giving Nick some meds in his IV to help in stopping the seizures from
happening. The CT’s were negative, which is good news. I suspect that the
seizures are from the meds that he apparently overdosed on,” Dr. Schueller
stated.


“How soon before you know whether or not these meds are working?” Brian
asked, almost afraid to find out the answer.


“We should know within 24 hours. Nick has already had four seizures since
he arrived here, so I would suspect that if we are on the right track with
him, this should stop seizures entirely,” the doctor replied as he was
scribbling something in Nick’s chart.


The doctor flipped the chart closed. “Do you have any questions?”


“Will this be a lifetime thing.... I mean the seizures, will this be something
that can happen to him the rest of his life?” Brian asked hesitantly.


“There is always going to be that chance, only time will tell."


*~*~*~*~*


"How's Nick?" Lizz asked as Kyung showed her face in the room.


"He's doing alright," Kyung lied.


"I want to see him," Lizz stated as she starting pulling the blankets off her body.


"Lizz, you need to rest, besides Nick won't know if you're here right now anyway," Brian suggested.


"Why wouldn't he? You guys aren't telling me the truth about Nick. Tell me what's going on, please!" Lizzed begged, looking at Brian and Kyung's faces with pleading eyes.


Brian sighed heavily. "They had to put Nick in a drug induced coma for a few days to see if they can sort out what's causing the seizures."


Lizz put her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god."


"He's okay, Lizz, he's just sleeping so he's not hurting at all," Kyung tried to calm Lizz down before she got upset.


"Please, let me see Nick. Just this one time, okay and then I promise I'll stay in my bed and do everything they tell me to."


Kyung agreed, but she knew it was against her better judgement. Her best friend was pretty stubborn and she knew that if she told Lizz no, she would do it by herself and could possible get injured.


"Okay, but only for a few minutes, okay?"


Lizz nodded.


Brian pushed the wheelchair down the hall into the doorway of Nick's room. Lizz took in all of the equipment that was surrounding Nick's bed, the sounds it made. As they approached the bed, the first thing Lizz noticed as the tubing for the respirator. She knew exactly how that felt.


She reached up and took Nick's free hand and placed it in hers. It was cool to the touch. Looking at Nick's face, tears came to Lizz's eyes. She felt awful in not being able to prevent any of this. She felt responsible for it.


Kyung could see that Lizz was becoming upset. She decided that this was a bad idea to have brought her down here.


"Lizz, I think it would be best that you go back and lay down now."


"But I'm not ready to go yet," Lizz sniffed, silently cursing herself for letting her emotions surface. "I'm fine."


"She's bleeding again!" Brian pointed at the side of Lizz's gown.


Lizz was starting to feel light headed, but she didn't want to acknowledge her bleeding. She wanted to stay with Nick.


"I'll be okay," Lizz snapped.


"We're going back, NOW," Kyung replied, the urgency in her voice forced Lizz to tighten her grip on Nick's hand.


As Kyung tried to pull the wheelchair back, Lizz's grip on Nick's hand jerked her forward out of the wheelchair onto Nick's bed.


*~*~*~*~*


I gasped as I tried to keep from losing my balance. I was sort of half lying across the bed. I bit my lip harshly to keep from crying out from the pain in my side. “Damn it, I’m not going anywhere.” I hissed. With that, I kind of pushed myslef up so I was sitting on the side of the bed. My grip on Nick’s hand didn’t lessen. I refused to acknowledge the worsening pain. It had been growing steadily more agonizing since I had nearly passed out from trying to keep Nick from falling out of the chair earlier. There was no way I was going to mention it because that would have only gotten in the way. My main concern right now was Nick. The light headedness wasn’t easing.

“Lizz! For goodness sake, you’re bleeding. You need to go lay back down!” Kyung cried, the exasperation and worry was clear in her voice.

“No! I’m fine really.” I insisted stubbornly.

Kyung threw a helpless look at Brian.

“No you aren’t. You are bleeding and you are shaking so bad that I don’t know how you can even sit up. You are going back to your room.” Brian told me as he came around to where I was.

“Please.” I couldn’t help it the fresh tears that started to fall. I was losing control of the situation. I couldn’tleave. “I need to be here. I can’t leave him. Please don’t make me leave. Please!” I cried brokenly. I was so afraid that if I left then something would happen. If I stayed then I could protect him. Make sure he was okay.

“Shhhh, it’s going to be okay. The best thing you can do for Nick is to get yourself better.” Brian soothed as he wrapped his arms around me. I held on for dear life with one arm, but refused to let go of Nick’s hand with my other.

“Lizzie, come on. We need to get your stitches looked at. Maybe after you have gotten some rest, you can come back.” Kyung said gently. Yet the urgency was still in her voice.

“No, I can’t.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had let a few tears fall now and then since I had gotten here, but now I couldn’t stop the sobs that ripped through me. It was the combination of the pain, the failed kindeys, the fact that I could die, but most of all, seeing this happening to Nick. I had always heard that you could talk to people in comas and that they would hear you. I was so terrified of leaving. If I could just stay and talk to him. Tell him not to give up. That I was here and that everything was going to be okay. But, I was so scared. I couldn’t leave. “I need to stay. They can just stitch me up in here or do whatever they need to do to me in here. I don’t care.” Even as I said it, my vision started to get fuzzy on me. I fought it with every ounce of my strength. I wasn’t going to give into it. I started to go limp in Brian’s arms and I felt him tense.

“Lizz? Oh god...”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kyung stood just outside Lizz’s room next to Brian and watched her while she slept. “I shouldn’t have let her out of bed. She had just got done getting her last stitches fixed. I can’t believe she tore them again.” She said softly.

“At least she didn’t tear them as bad this time. You can’t blame yourself. You know she would have found a way to get in there anyway, just like she tried to before and just like Nick did.” Brian replied. He shook his head, thinking back to how mad he had been when he and Kyung had returned from their coffee break. Kyung had been just as angry. Nick had just been loaded onto the gurney and was being wheeled out of Lizz’s room when they had walked up. The look on Brian’s face was one of horror as he ran over to see what had happened. Kyung rushed into Lizz’s room to find her back in her bed, shaking and white as a ghost. She was crying and looked scared out her mind. No one had told her anything so she could only sit there and wonder. She tried to get up and go find out for herself, but Kyung wouldn’t let her go anywhere. It had been a very long hour.

Kyung sighed. “What are we going to do?” At first seeing Lizz pass out in Nick’s room had scared her, but her doctor said that it was probably either the pain, the physical toll on her body, or the emotional. Now she was relieved that at least she wouldn’t be all worked up about seeing Nick.

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. I pray that something doesn’t happen to one of them because I don’t think, at this point, that the other one could take it.” Brian said quietly.



*~*~*~*~*


Kyung couldn't help but smile as she looked at Brian curled up in a chair in the corner of the waiting room. A clattereing of silverware froma cart out in the hallway woke Brian up from his sleep. Disoriented, Brian looked around the room, his eyes half open.


"I was hoping at least one of us would be sleeping, Brian," Kyung softly commented.


Yawning, Brian stretched in his seat. "You should have tried to sleep too."


Kyung shook her head. "I can't, there's too much on my mind."


"Mine too, but there's no excuse for letting yourself wear down with worry. Any changes while I was sleeping?"


"Some of Lizz's blood draws looked promising. They won't tell me anything about Nick thought, they're keeping it strictly confidential, which is good, but it's so frustrating when you want to find out what's happening with him," Kyung replied quietly.


Brian nodded as he listened to Kyung. She turned to look towards the door when Brian suddenly stood up. She wasn't too certain, but she thought she recognized Nick's mother standing in the doorway.


"Oh Brian, how is he?" a tearful Jane Carter asked Brian as she wrapped her arms around him.


Brian's thoughts were racing, trying to think of the best way to explain all that was happening with Nick at the moment.


"He's resting right now," Brian started out, he caught Kyung's face out of the corner of his eye and had to look quickly away, knowing that the shocked look on her face was from him not telling the Carter's everything right away.


"I need to see him, what room did they say he was in?" Jane looked up at her husband while she asked.


Bob Carter placed his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, honey, let's talk to Brian first and see what's going on before you bolt into his room."


Bob turned his attention back to Brian's. "Now, tell us what happened to Nick, from the beginning."


Brian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was going to be something that could very well tear them up. He wanted to make sure he explained it to them as gently as possible.


"You know how Nick can be sensitive about certain things---"


Bob cut him off. "Brian just tell us, don't lead into this. We already know he either accidentally overdosed or deliberately overdosed, we just want the truth."


"Nick tried to kill himself yesterday. No one knows for sure exactly what he took but we do know that some of the meds were mine mixed in with his. His heart stopped on him twice and he's had a few seizures since he's been here."


Jane gasped when Brian mentioned Nick's heart stopping.


"But he's okay now? He's going to be alright?" Jane asked, her voice barely above a whisper.


"They have him in a drug induced coma to try and sort out why he's been having seizures," Brian quietly stated.


"I need to see him, take me to him," Jane demanded.


*~*~*~*~*~


I distinctly smelled my mother's perfume. When I heard her voice, I wanted to call out to her. It's funny what you can hear when you're in a coma. Good thing about it is that hopefully I won't remember hearing her anguished cries. I had let her down. I had let my parents and my best friend down. How could I live knowing that?


Jane cupped Nick's hand in hers. She fussed with his blonde hair and didn't speak to him, just took in all that was surrounding Nick, the machines, the tubes, the IV's.


"This won't hurt his voice, will it?" Jane asked, gesturing towards the tube in Nick's mouth.


Brian shrugged and then shook his head no. He wasn't certain what would or wouldn't harm Nick at this point.

~*~*~*~*~

I felt someone messing with my arm and awoke with a start.

“Shhh...It’s okay sweetie. I just need to check your graft.” A nurse said softly. It wasn’t Della. Shifts must have changed. This one’s name tag read Cynthia.

I started to look down at the graft, but changed my mind. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see it. I knew there was going to be a nasty looking knot thing that was the graft under my skin. After asking if I need anything, Cynthia left me alone in my room. My thoughts immediately returned to Nick. The last thing I remembered was being in his room as Kyung and Brian tried to convince me to leave. What happened after that and how I ended up in my room again was a mystery to me. I was not happy about it though. I started to sit up so I could somehow get back to his room, but to my shock, I couldn’t even move. I turned my head to the door, hoping that I could get a nurses attention. This was freaking me out.

I tried as hard as I could to sit up, but my body simply wouldn’t obey me. The pain in my side was sort of a dull throbbing instead of that fiery sharp feeling. “Damnit.” I muttered. Even my voice sounded pitiful. I had to get to Nick.

“Lizz, what’s wrong?” Kyung stood in my doorway.

“What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t get up!” My frustration was growing.

“You pushed your body too far. You need to rest for awhile. Between what you did to it by overdosing and then tearing your stitches twice, you need to stay still. I shouldn’t have let you out of bed the second time.” Kyung’s voice was tired.

“I need to see Nick.” I said, dismissing what she said about resting.

Kyung shook her head. “Aboslutely not...”

I started to cut her off, but she continued.

“Anyway, his parents are here. Let them spend some time alone with him.”

“His parents?” I breathed. That blew me away and sort of scared me. I knew that Nick was very adamant about his parents not getting involved in the other times. The fact that they were now just told me of the seriousness of the situation. “Is he still in the coma?” I asked softly.

Kyung nodded.

“What about the other guys?” I asked.

She shrugged. I could tell there was something else on her mind.

“What is it?” I leveled a gaze at her.

“More than just Nick’s parents are going to be finding out.” She looked away.

I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean?” I asked slowly.

She sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but you are going to find out anyway. This whole thing has turned into an even bigger mess. Someone here found a copy of you guys’ chat and has already called the National Enquiror.”

I gasped.

“It gets worse. Other major news stations know and there are reporters all over outside. Security is keeping them from coming in, but there has been some close calls.”

This was unreal. “Oh my god, everyone is going to find out. My parents, everyone at school. Shit!What is this going to do to to the Backstreet Boys? To Nick?!” I felt sick to my stomach.

“I don’t know. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t. Oh and I heard someone in the nurses station mention that psych is sending someone up to talk to you.” Kyung frowned as she said this.

“What?! Why?” I demanded.

“Well Lizz, look at it. You are a suicide risk now. You swallowed a bottle of a pretty strong drug. It wasn’t someone like Tylenol. This looks like a serious attempt at your life. Everyone is still amazed that you are even alive now. Your body is still really screwed up. And I’m not even talking about your kidneys. The albuterol really did a job on you. Not to mention that you are making it worse by not taking care of yourself here. You have already torn your stitches twice.” Kyung’s voice rose.

“Like you said, I’m already all screwed up so I don’t care that much at this point. I am more concerned with Nick right now. He’s in a freaking coma. He’s having seizures and they don’t know why. His career might be ruined now. What if they can’t bring him out of this coma? What if he doesn’t get better? What happens with him is so much more important right now.” I fired all this out at Kyung and didn’t even notice how red her face got.

“Bullshit! Why is your life any less important, huh?!” She demanded angrily.

I just looked at her. “It just is.”

“Whatever. I’ll be back. I need some coffee.” She stormed out of the room.

Shit. I had pissed her off good. I haven’t seen her this mad in...I don’t even know. I suddenly felt really alone and really depressed. I felt tears come to my eyes and I blinked them away. I was sick of crying. A few escaped anyway. I heard a soft knock at my door and I turned away. “Go away whoever you are.” I muttered under my breath.

The knocking persisted. “Yeah?” I called out softly. I figured it was Kyung again so I was surprised it wasn’t her that gazed at me from the doorway.


~*~*~*~*


Dr. Minnick was sweatting as he prepped Nick's IV line. They were in a tiny sterile room. Nurse Barbara McKean, the doctor's assistant could detect his obvious nervousness and apprehension as he worked on the patient.


"Where the hell is the Neuroban? I need it now, dammit!"


Nurse McKean slapped the syringe into the doctor's gloved palm. Her eyes met with his icy blue glare. She knew he had messed up with this patient. She was waiting for the right time to confront him.


Picking up Nick's chart, the doctor wrote down orders. "I want this patient back to ICU with 24 hours total survelience."


"Yes doctor," a nurse replied to his order.


Dr. Minnick slapped the door open and took a deep breath of air once he left the room, he felt that the patient's prognosis was off his shoulders, he was done with the Carter case, as far as he was concerned. A hand on his arm stopped the doctor in mid-stride.


"You are planning on talking to this boy's family, aren't you?" Nurse McKean spat out.


The doctor pulled his arm from the nurse's grip. "What for? There's nothing to tell."


"Nothing to tell? My god Peter, you messed up this time and you know it. Because of your error, he has had a stroke. God only knows if the damage can be repaired. He could possibly wake up not being able to move or to speak," the nurse spoke harshly, barely above a whisper.


"There's no way you can prove that and besides if you think you're going to the board with your suspecions, think again. Remember the Baby Boy Johnson case? You were at fault in that one by your own mistakes, so you see, Nurse McKean,I am not going down alone, I will take anyone I can with me."


Stunned, Barbara McKean stood staring at the doctor for a moment, she started to turn and walk away when he grabbed her by the arm.


"Let's go talk to the family then, you're coming with me."


The nurse reluctantly followed the doctor to the ICU waiting room. As she stood in the doorway, she noticed the patient's parents and a young man in his early twenties sitting in a chair holding his head in his hands. When the doctor entered the room he looked up at them, his eyes were a piercing blue.


"Hi, Doctor Minnick. I just finishing pushing the meds that should be bringing Nick around out of his sedation. Everything looks good so far."


"Did they figure out what's caused the seizures yet?" Brian asked.


"He never had anymore since he went under the sedation, so we are hoping that the meds he is on now will be the ones that hold them off. Unfortunately, he will need to be on the anti-seizure meds for the rest of his life, but if it prevents the seizures, it's good."


The doctor quickly shook their hands and left the room.


~*~*~*~*~


I think I could safely say that these past three days were some of the worst in my life. Today was the day that Nick was supposed to be coming out of his coma. I was a wreck. In more ways than one actually. Ever since Kyung had stormed out of my room three days ago, things had seemed to go downhill. She wasn’t mad at me anymore of course, but the battle I was fighting with myself was growing. I was supposed to stay quiet, but that day I made things worse for myself again.

The knocking persisted. “Yeah?” I called out softly. I figured it was Kyung again so I was surprised it wasn’t her that gazed at me from the doorway.

A woman that appeared to be in her mid thirties gave me a confident smile. “Hi. My name is Pamela Strait. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.”

“Who are you?” I asked shortly. I knew I was rude, but I wasn’t in the mood for visitors.

“I’m a reporter from Channel 8.”

My jaw dropped. "How did you get in here?!" I demanded.

"Oh, I have my ways." She informed me smugly.

"I'm not telling you anything so you might as well leave." I said coldly.

"Could you just cooperate with a few questions. How do you know Nick Carter? Is it true that you both tried to kill yourselves with some sort of suicide pact? Are there any permanent results?" She started firing the questions at me.

"Get out before I call security." I glared at her.

"Just answer a few questions, then I will leave. There isn't a phone in here to call with anyway." She made her voice sound sickeningly sweet.

"Then I will yell at the top of my lungs." I snapped.

"Right." She sneered.

This wasn’t right. There was no way that this person was from Channel 8. "Fine, I'll strike a deal with you. You tell me who you really are and how you got in here. Then I will tell you something." I spoke slowly.

"Okay. I don't work at Channel 8. I am with the National Enquiror. And I was let in by one of the nurses here." She stated.

"Why would one of the nurses let you in?" I demanded.

"Because she is the one who called and told us everything. And I am their best reporter and I am used to getting what I want. So now you can tell me what I want to know." She said haughtily.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Bitch. Get out of here right now." I exploded. The adrenaline was pumping now.

"I don't think so sweetie. Answer my questions." Her tone went to straight nasty.

“Get out.” I repeated.

She only stared at me.

I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed the nearest thing. That happened to be a small pitcher of water. I held it up. “Get out of here right now before I soak your ass.” I threatened.

She took a step toward me and I threw the water on her, drenching her suit.

She gasped. “You little...”

I didn’t know what she was going to do next so I threw the empty pitcher at the wall as hard as I could. It made a loud clatter.

“Alright kid, have it your way, but it doesn’t change what is being printed in next week’s paper. I’ll make sure to send you a copy. You both will be all over the front page.” With that she turned around and flounced out of the room.

I shuddered at the memory of that. As soon as she had left I lost my energy and collapsed against my pillows, shaking like a leaf. The monitors above my head started beeping and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. Within seconds, my nurse was in my room trying to calm me down. When Kyung had returned, she was pretty mad.

Kyung was working now so she was on another floor. They were going to start my first dialysis treatment today and I had to admit I was nervous. Kyung tried to switch her shift around so she could be with me, but was unable. I didn’t want to be alone. My doctor explained to me that they had actually done the procedure when I was in my first surgery. So technically this was the second one, but since I wasn’t awake for that one, I counted this as my first.

I wasn’t due for another hour so I decided I was going to go see Nick. I was watched like a hawk for the past three days so I couldn’t go see him, but now everything seemed quiet so I could get away with it. Besides I wanted to be there when he woke up. The hard part was getting there. I knew that my chances of staying were better if I got caught when I was already in his room.

The wheelchair was still in my room and I snickered at that. With my history, you’d think they would be smart enough to keep it out of reach. Getting to the chair was going to be a task though. I don’t know what was wrong with me because I didn’t seem to be feeling much better. I wasn’t regaining my strength like I figured I would. I knew I was stubborn enough to make it to the chair though. I turned off my IV machine and clamped the line. It was too much of a hassle to maneuver that and the wheelchair and I knew that they would hook me back up to it as soon as I was discovered anyway. Next came the leeds that I was attached to. I flipped the switch on silent just like I had done before and then pulled them off. I was a little more hesitant to take off my oxygen, but it was a sacrifice I had to make. Finally, very carefully I slid into the wheelchair. My legs felt like rubber and I didn’t want to use them more than I had to. I didn’t need another fall.

Time was running short before I was discovered so I wheeled myself to the doorway. I was already feeling lightheaded and short of breath, but I was getting used to that. I wasn’t going to let whatever was wrong with me get in my way. The hall was empty so I headed toward Nick’s room.

The door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open a little more. The door swung open, but now I hesitated. Several pairs of eyes turned in my direction.



~*~*~*~*~


Brian looked up to see Lizz sitting in a wheelchair in the doorway. She was very pale, but had a determined look on her face. “Lizz, what are you doing out of bed? You look awful!” Brian explaimed as he headed towards her.

“Gee thanks Bri, you look like crap yourself.” Lizz retorted. “How is he? I want to see him.” She tried to peer around Brian, who was standing in front of her.

“He’s still asleep.” Brian replied. Then he remembered that Lizz had never met Nick’s parents. “Jane, Bob, this is Nick’s online friend, Lizz. Remember I told you about her earlier?”

Jane nodded and held out her hand for Lizz to take. “Nice to meet you.” She said.

Lizz shook her hand and flushed. She thought of how silly she must have looked being so pale and having bright red cheeks. She turned back to Brian. “Will you push me over to him?”

Brian nodded and angled Lizz at the side of the bed. Lizz looked carefully at him and her eyes widened. She had expected him to look like he was sleeping peacefully, but instead he didn’t look all that peacful. His eyes were partway open showing a sliver of his blue eyes. Lizz looked at Brian uncertainly.

“He’s been like that for awhile. I guess it is part of coming out of the coma.” Brian tried to reassure her. Unfortuntately his voice didn’t sound as confident as he would have liked.



~*~*~*~*~


I opened my eyes and slowly tried to become aware of my surrounding. Machines were stacked next my bed...not good. I tried to remember what happened to me that landed me in this place. I had an itch on my nose and was going to scratch it when I realized that something was terribly wrong. I told my right hand to scratch it, but it refused to budge.


"Naaaa." Okay, now I was really starting to panic here. That did not sound like me. I attempted to clear my throat and try it again, a simple word, nurse, 'come on Nick, you can do it.' "Naaaa."


'Okay, it must be cause I was out of it or something, just give it time,' I was desperately trying to reassure myself and avoid the panic that was filling my mind.


A woman appeared in my view, her nameplate had a picture of her face and the Name Allison written on it.


"Glad to see you're awake, we've been waiting for you, Nick."


This girl seemed overly cheerful, I decided. I know at least my command of frowning seemed to work because she picked up on that one instantly.


"I know, it takes time, just relax, you've been in that coma for a few days now," Allison said as she patted my shoulder.


My mind searched trying to figure out why I was in a coma. Was I in an accident? I was growing more and more confused.


I was still trying to adjust myself to the weirdness of the situation when a group of people all wearing white lab coats came into the room. One of them said that they were from the neurology team and needed to evaluate my progress.


*~*~*~*~*


Brian paced nervously in the small private waiting room next to ICU.


"Brian, please, sit down, you're making me nervous," Jane said as she patted the seat next to hers.


Brian reluctantly sat down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands. He could feel Jane rubbing his back.


"They said someone would be in to see us in a few minutes, what is taking them so long?" Brian asked out loud, a frustrated tone in his voice.


Before Jane could answer Brian's question, a man in a long white labcoat entered the room.


"Doctor Signet, neurology," the doctor sighed as he sat in the chair opposite of Brian and the Carter's. He flipped open what appeared to be Nick's chart. "I've just finished evaluating Nick and I'm afraid that the prognosis at this point does not look very good." The doctor sighed again as he quickly shuffled through some papers in the chart. "It appears that he has suffered a stroke from the last seizure he endured before he was placed into the coma.


Jane gasped and held onto her husband's hand tighter. Brian's mouth dropped open.


"Wha... what's the prognosis, what's been affected?" Brian stammered, afraid to know.


"Right now the paralysis appears to have affected his speech and his extremeties are weak."


"But it will get better, right?" Brian asked.


"Only time will tell," the doctor stated as he closed the chart up. He shook their hands and excused himself saying that they could go see Nick if they wanted to.


*~*~*~*~*~


I sat in my bed and sulked. I wasn’t in Nick’s room for more than five minutes when I got busted. I was pretty pissed, but I wasn’t going to cause a scene. Especially with his parents in there. I felt a little better when Brian told me that they had to clear everyone out so the neurologists could check Nick out. Maybe they would figure out what was going on. My nurse was not very happy with me for getting out of bed. Apparantly my stats were not so good. Go figure, I felt pretty lousy. So I layed there and sulked and worried.

“Hey Lizz! I can’t stay, but I need to tell you something.” Kyung came in and stood by the side of my bed. She looked at me closely. “You look terrible.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. Between you and Brian...” I trailed off.

“Um, there was a message for you on the answering machine. It was your mom...” She began.

My hopes lifted. As much as I was worried about how she would react, I needed her to be here.

“You were right about your mom and dad going to Kansas for that auction. Well, your mom said that they were going to go ahead and drive to Illinois to see the rest of your family. She said that they are going to stay in a hotel on the way so they will be on the road for a few days.” I could tell Kyung hated relaying this news.

I forced a smile. “It’s all good. My mom would freak if she knew anyway. It would be better if I was in better shape when she knew.” I couldn’t ignore that little voice in the back of my mind that said “ifI got better.”

She nodded uncertainly. “Well you should still call them. Do you know any of your relative’s numbers?”

“Nope, not a clue.” I sighed.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” She squeezed my shoulder.

I gave her a tight smile. “I start my first dialysis in about 20 minutes.”

“I know. I wish I could be here.” It was obvious she felt bad. She tried to switch shifts, but it didn’t pan out.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” My voice wasn’t as convincing as I would have liked.

She leaned down and gave me a hug. “You’ll be alright, I know you will. I’m going to swing by and talk to Brian and see what I can find out. I’ll try to get some info back to you okay?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice at the present. She left and I don’t think I had ever felt so alone in my life. That is the thing I hated most about being in the hospital. How lonely it was. I wished more than anything that my parents were here, but they didn’t even know what was going on. Kyung had told me that a few of our friends had called, but I didn’t know how to handle visitors yet. The situation was too delicate. Kyung had been great. All her spare time between class and work was spent with me. Brian had also spent some time in here too. It was those silent moments. The past few nights when I couldn’t sleep. And more than ever, now. I wanted to be the strong person that everyone always told me that I was, but I didn’t feel strong right now. I didn’t want to be alone through this dialyisis thing. I fought the tears that were trying to push through.

~*~*~*~*~

Barbara McKean struggled for the third time to get the right combination on her locker. Her hands were shaking so bad that she kept hitting the wrong numbers. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The image of Nick Carter’s face kept going through her mind. It was wrong. What Dr. Minnick had done was wrong. What he was doing now was beyond comprehension.

Nurse McKean was faced with the biggest moral dilemma she could imagine. She couldn’t let Dr. Minnick get away with this, but how could she expose him without taking the fall herself? She couldn’t afford to lose this job. One little mistake she made as an intern could now destroy her career. On on the other hand, her ethics couldn’t let her stay quiet. Dr. Minnick was well known and respected. Personally, she didn’t like him. He was ill-tempered and had a miserable bedside manner, but he was a good doctor. Until now.

Her heart broke at the memory of the reactions of this poor kid’s parents. And that young man that was with them. It was his eyes that she couldn’t forget. She had to do something about this, but she didn’t know what.


~*~*~*~*~


Kyung spotted Brian in the hall, leaning against the wall next to Nick's room, his head bowed. He appeared to be visibly shaken, his face ashen.


"Brian, what's wrong?" Kyung asked as she placed her hand on his shoulder.


Brian stood there for the longest time, not speaking, just slowly shaking his head back and forth. Finally after several minutes had passed, he looked at her, his eyes bloodshot and tired.


"I've always been able to fix things for Nick, always. This time I can't. I don't understand it," Brian mumbled.


"Fix what? What's wrong?" Kyung asked, searching his face for some type of clue. "He's still not having seizures, is he?"


"They think the last seizure he had before they put him under caused some problems," Brian began. His eyes were tearing up and he stopped speaking because his voice was failing him.


Kyung waited for Brian to regain his composure.


"They're saying he had a stroke---"


"Oh god," Kyung gasped, putting her hand to her mouth.


"Lizz? How is she doing?" Brian asked, worried about her welfare.


"She is starting dialysis right now. Naturally, she's scared to death," Kyung replied.

Overwhelmed with everything that was happening with Nick and Lizz, Brian's legs started to buckle. Kyung was able to catch him before he fell down to the floor.


~*~*~*~*~

I never got nervous about anything, but I sure as hell was now. Several people in scrubs had just let themselves into my room and were hooking up what I guessed was the dialysis machine. I wished more than anything that someone was in here with me. The techs, or whatever they were called, were very efficient. They wasted no time in setting everything up and getting this started. I wanted to find a way to stall them. I thought about saying I had to go to the bathroom, but my nurse made sure I went before the crew got here. She also had me weighed. That had something to do with the dialysis. Making sure that they exchanged the right amount of blood or something. I wasn’t too clear on all this yet.

“Okay Elizabeth, we are going to have to put the catheter in now.” One of the ladies told me. She took the needle out of the package and I could feel the color drain from my face.

“Oh my god.” I whispered. It was huge!I had never had a needle that big get put into me and I had had a lotof needles stuck in my in my life. And it was going in my neck? I wanted to throw up. Instead I started coughing uncontrollably. I do that when I get nervous, upset, or anxious. Now it was all of the above.

“Are you alright?” Another asked me watched me carefully.

I nodded and after a few minutes, the coughing subsided. “I’m ready.” I said hoarsely. Actually I wasn’t, but I didn’t have much choice.

“Wait, can’t I have some lidocaine or something?” My voice hit a frantic note as she moved towards me.

“I‘m sorry honey. With your compromised health, it would be dangerous to numb your neck that much.” The first one said apologetically. I saw that her name was Lenora.

“What about versed to knock me out?” I pleaded. I did notwant to feel that thing.

“That would have to be ordered from the pharmacy and we have to get this started. We do have a spray though. It will be able to take some of the sting out.” She suggested.

“Okay.” That was a relief. She had me lay back and relax. Riiiight, relax...The other techs were fiddling with the machine. Man, I wanted someone here with me. She sprayed the stuff on my neck and waited. It was cold and almost immediately I started to go numb. She waited for about three minutes.

“Ready?” Lenora asked gently. I nodded and she counted to three. I didn’t feel the needle actually go in, but then once it was in, I felt her threading it. I sucked in my breath sharply and felt tears come to my eyes. It hurt.

“Hold still okay?” Lenora told me.

I clenched the sheets tightly in my hands and prayed that it would be over soon. After another minute she was done and began to secure it with tape. I let out a shaky breath and shut my eyes. “That was not cool.” I whispered.

“You did great though, honey.” I could hear a smile in her voice. “At the other end of the catheter are two tubes. One is for the outflow and the other is for the inflow. This will take about 4-6 hours and you might experience some side-effects. Espeically considering your lung condition and your, um...overdose. Call your nurse if you feel anything.” She informed me.

“‘K” I whispered. She patted my knee and everyone left. I didn’t want to move so I just layed there as still as possible.

“We’ll be back in a little bit to check on you.” And then I was alone.

~*~*~*~*~

Terri rushed up to Monica. “I have been looking for you all day!”

Monica nodded absently. She wasn’t very please with Terri right now. She had found out about Terri calling the National Enquiror several days ago and was livid. How could Terri do that?! For all the years of being best friends, Monica had never seen this side of Monica.

“Have you seen the mob outside?! It’s huge!” Exclaimed Terri, excitedly.

“Yeah, I saw them.” Monica mumbled. She started to move past her to grab a few charts that needed tending.

“I just gave a couple interviews. It’ll be on tonight’s news. Think of the exposure this is giving me!” Terri was grinning gleefully.

Monica stared at her in disbelief. “Haven’t you thought that maybe they might want a little privacy here? When people start getting wind of what you did you could get fired!”

“No I wouldn’t. Freedom of speech. Besides Brian, or whatever his name is, shouldn’t have gone off on me like that. I mean geez! You should have heard the way he was talking to me!”

Monica exploded. “Damnit Terri, do you blame him? Honestly? You are telling the whole world that his best friend is suicidal! Come on!”

“The people have a right to know.” Terri said hotly.

“No they don’t! That is their personal business. Not ours or anyone elses! What has gotten into you?” Monica glared at her.

“Please, Mon, don’t tell me that this doesn’s excite you just a little bit. It doesn’t get any juicier than this. Nick Carter tried to kill himself and in the process took some other girl down with him. He, more than anyone should have the perfect life, and yet he does this? Why? And who is this other chick? How does she play into it? Why would she do such an insane thing?” Her eyes were glowing.

Monica felt like she was going to be ill. “You must think this is some sort of game. Do you realize that these are people’s lives? Neither one of them are looking too good at the moment. How can you be so sick?! It’s like I don’t even know you!”

“Oh relax, sheesh.” Terri waved her hand as if dismissing Monica’s anger.

“Look...” Monica started icily. But she was cut of by a doctor that was running by.

“Monica, I need you. A young male just collapsed.” He called.


~*~*~*~*~


Brian woke up finding himself laying on a stretcher in the emergency room.
He started to sit up but was immediately pushed back down by a surgical
gloved hand.


“Lay back down, okay?”


Brian looked up at the voice and saw that it was Kyung. He felt a little relief,
but then winced as he felt a needle plunge into a vein in his arm. He noticed
also that they had an IV going.


“I don’t have time for this, I’m okay,” Brian protested.


“You collapsed in the hall way, Brian, that’s not normal,” Kyung reminded.


“Let them check you over and then decide, okay? I’m sure they will do what’s
best for you,” Kyung stated. “I’ll stay with you while they take you down for
the CT.”


“CT? I said I’m fine, why do they insist on doing so many things?” Brian
asked, his voice sounded agitated.


“Like I said before, you collapsed, they just want to make sure everything is
alright. Just humor them, okay?”


Brian was upset at the thought of being dragged through the emergency
room, but deep down he knew that Kyung was right. He already made his
mind up that he collapsed because of all that was happening, but he would
just wait until the doctors decided that’t what they would diagnose.


~*~*~*~


Lizz drew herself to the conclusion that dialysis sucked. There were no
other two ways about it. The topical anesthetic that was applied to numb her
neck was wearing off and she felt more aware of the needles. She mentally
reprimanded herself for drinking the albuterol that pushed her kidneys to
the limit. But still, she knew deep down that should would do it again if the
situation was there.


She lazily surfed throught the channels looking for something to watch. Lizz
stopped on Mtv. She figured music could soothe her nerves and maybe wear
her down so she could rest.


They were having the top 10 countdown on TRL and, as usual, someone from
n’sync was sucking up to Carson Daly. Lizz laughed when she remembered her
online buddy Chrissy always said that n’sync lived in a dumpster behind the
studios.


The One video was shown and Lizz suddenly found herself thinking about how
Nick was doing but the next thought that popped into her head was the fact
that Kyung had not returned from checking back with Brian. She
immediately started thinking the worst scenarios and looked for the nurse
call button.


Caroline, her dialysis nurse came immediately into the room. “Something
wrong, sweetie?”


“Kyung was suppose to come back and I haven’t seen her. You know her,
right?” Lizz asked with a hopeful tone in her voice.


“Sorry, I don’t,” Caroline apologized.


“Dammit, I need to page her or something, this is crazy,” Lizz stated as she
squirmed in her bed.


“Calm down Lizz, don’t get yourself worked up now. What’s the number?”
Caroline asked.


Lizz gave Caroline the pager number. She wrote it down and promised that
she would page Kyung when she got back to the nurse’s station.


~*~*~*~*~


Terri followed Monica to the ER and saw them working on Brian Littrell. She
faded back into a doorway when the gurney was pushed past her. Once she
knew that Monica was busy with Brian, Terri decided to wander up to Nick
Carter’s room and see what was going on with him. She knew the National
Enquirer could use more updated information and she definately was going to
get it. They told her if she could provide photos, it would push up the
payment she would get by thousands depending on the quality of the picture.


Grabbing her cleaning cart, Terri slowly pushed it down the ICU hall way.
There was no mistaking which room was Nick Carter’s. There was a security
guard assigned outside the room. She nonchalantly breezed up to the door
with her cart and showed the guard her identification tag.


~*~*~*~*~

I was starting to feel slightly nauseated now. I had a relatively tough stomach so I tried my best to ignore it. TRL was over so I flipped the channel. I never watched TV anymore so I didn’t know what was on. I couldn’t keep my mind on that anyway. The churning feeling in my stomach got worse only it wasn’t just nausea. It was also a clenching, twisting feeling. This was different. I started to feel agitated. What the hell? My whole body got tense like there was something wrong. It was something kin to a sixth sense. I knewsomething was wrong. And I knew what it was concerned with.

The machines started to make some beeping noises. It was the heart monitor. My heart was racing and I could only attribute it to what was happening so suddenly. I knew a racing heart could be a side effect to the dialysis, but this feltdifferent somehow. It was starting to scare me.

Not five seconds are the beeps started going off, Caroline rushed in. “Sweetie, what is it?” She asked.

I was starting to shake now. “What the hell?” I whispered.

“Relax, take a deep breath.” She instructed.

“This isn’t from the dialysis. It’s different.” I gasped urgently. It was starting to sink in what was happening to me, but I couldn’t tell her. She would think I was nuts. Hell, I was beginning to question it myself.

“Lizz, you need to calm down.” She said gently, but sternly.

I shook my head. “What is going on with Nick? I need to know.” I couldn’t stop shaking. I was so tense, my muscles began to ache. My breathing became erratic almost. I neededto know.

“Sweetie, now isn’t the time.” She said carefully as she adjusted my oxygen flow.

“Where is Kyung?” I was beginning to grow desperate. There was an urgency in my feelings and it was beginning to take me over.

“She, uh, is tied up with a patient.” Caroline looked uncomfortable.

I needed Kyung. I was on the verge of losing it. I had never been in such a state as this in my life. I knew what was making me do this, but I didn’t know how or why it hit so suddenly. Something was wrong.“What is happening with Nick? I knowsomething is wrong. He is upset about something and I haveto know what it is!” My eyes darted wildly.

She looked shocked. It was almost like she couldn’t fathom my behavior. All I knew was that the tension in my body was getting stronger and the desperation was spinning me out of control. I felt like I was beginning to unravel and I tried to fight the overwhelming panic. There was a battle going on inside me. But it wasn’t my battle. I was feeling Nick’s.


*~*~*~*


I was expecting to see my nurse named Allison come into the room when I heard the door opening. I wasn't suprised to see a girl from housekeeping come in with her cart. I decided I needed to try and see if I could move my right hand yet.


"Hi, how are you today?"


I couldn't answer this girl if I wanted to. Hell, I couldn't smile either. I know I must have looked like a total idiot, staring blankly at her, but there was nothing I could do, period.


"Oh my god, you can't talk, can you?"


This was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I wanted to get this girl out of my room but I knew I couldn't order her out.


As Terri pulled the camera out of her pocket, she thought she saw Nick's eyes flash with anger. She ignored it and started firing off picture after picture of Nick laying helpless in a hospital bed.


The monitors on the side of Nick's bed started beeping as his heart rate soared and his oxygen levels plummeted. Nick started hyperventilating which caused Terri to panic. She quickly shoved the camera into her pocket and started to reach for the nurse call button when Nurse Allison Harding rushed into the room.


Allison was surveying the situation when another nurse raced in. Allison barked out some type of medication that was to be given to Nick STAT and the nurse quickly turned and left the room, re-entering in a few moments with a syringe.


Terri watched off to the side of the room as the nurse quickly swabbed Nick's IV line and injected the medication into the IV. Within seconds, the heart rate evened out and the monitors stopped their repetitive beeping. Nick's whole body went limp as he drifted back off to sleep.


After Allison checked the lines going from Nick's body to the machines, she turned and faced Terri.


"Tell me, what exactly happened in here?" Allison asked, her eyes searching Terri's face for a clue.


"I don't know, all I was doing was cleaning and all of a sudden his machines started going crazy," Terri lied to the nurse.


Back at the nurse's station, Allison pulled Nick's chart and opened it to the nurse's note page. In it she described what went on with Nick and then next to it wrote the words "panic attack."


*~*~*~*


Brian was putting his pants on while he was still wearing the blue hospital gown.


"You know that you're doing this against doctor's advisement," Dr. Knapp stated as Brian continued to get dressed.


"Yeah, I know and I already signed the papers, okay? I honestly don't have time to lay around in a hospital bed. It was just flukey that I fainted in the hall, but trust me, I don't intend on faiting again, okay? I appreciate all you've done for me, but I'm needed with my friend now," Brian replied.


"Mister Littrell, you're suffering from exhaustion and you need to rest," Dr. Knapp pressed.


Brian waived the doctor off. "I'm sorry, but I honestly don't have time to be exhausted. Nick needs me. Thank you for your help," Brian half apologized as he walked out of the room, leaving the doctor standing in the center, holding Brian's chart.


Once outside in the hall, Brian fell against the wall as a wave of dizziness hit him. He glanced right and left before he straightened up and started walking down the hall towards the elevators that would take him up to ICU.


~*~*~*~*~

“Lizz, please, you need to calm down. What’s wrong? Lizz!” Caroline cried in frustration.

I couldn’t even think straight. I was so scared. More than I ever have been in my life. Over and over I just murmered, “God, pleasehelp Nick. Help him.” I didn’t know why this was happening, I only knew that it was somehow connected to Nick.

I didn’t even notice the other people that had rushed into my room. I didn’t notice one of them put something into my IV. Everything stared to grow hazy and I fought it. I felt like, whatever this was, I had to hold onto it. Keep praying. That option was taken out of my hands as the medicine started to take effect and I lost consciousness.

~*~*~*~*~

Relieved that no one had seen him hit the wall, Brian continued carefully towards Nick’s room. He knew that Kyung was also frustrated that he had decided not to let the doctors keep him in bed and even run more tests if necessary. It didn’t matter though. He was needed by Nick and that was where he planned on being.

Once in the elevator another wave hit him and he leaned heavily against the wall. He felt emtpy inside. Like someone had drained him completely of all energy. His eyes were heavy, yet he knew that he wouldn’t sleep. He had barely eaten anything since this had started and had gotten even less sleep. He probably hadn’t even had fifteen hours in the past 5 days. And even those hours were disturbed and even nightmare filled. When he reached for the button for his floor he noticed that he was shaking slightly so he shoved his hands into his pockets.

He decided to stop in the restroom to splash some cold water on his face. That seemd to help. When he came out, he saw Kyung step out of one of the elevators. She looked concerned.

“Kyung?” He called.

She stopped and walked over to him. “I just got a page from this floor and it has Lizz’s code in it. I’m sure everything is okay, she is probably feeling sort of crappy from the dialysis.”

“I was on my way to see Nick.” Brian stated as he shifted his face away from her. He had a feeling she was going to say something. He was right.

“Brian, you look horrible. You need to rest!” She admonished.

He repeated what he had told Dr. Knapp. “I don’t have time to rest. I need to be there for Nick.”

Kyung groaned. “Honestly, you are acting like Lizz and Nick do. You are supposed to be more level-headed than that. What good are you going to be to him if you get sick because that is the direction that you are headed.” She pointed out.

He gave her a wan smile. “I’m fine.” Then another wave of dizziness hit him and he started to sway.

“Fine, right!” Kyung exclaimed, rolling her eyes. She steadied him and led him to a bench. “Stay there and I will be right back. You aren’t moving until you eat something.”

With that she went to the small kitchen to find something for him, trusting he would stay there. She didn’t even know if he would be able to even stand up.

~*~*~*~*~

Caroline, Lizz’s dialysis nurse, was visibly shaken by what she had read. Lizz’s other nurse had made a note in her chart that Lizz had just had a panic attack. Like Lizz had requested, Caroline checked on Nick. His chart read that he had just experienced a panic attack also. How could that have happened? It must be some sort of mistake,she thought. She recognized the initials underneath as Allison’s and called her over.

“What is it?” Allison asked.

“Patient in 13 just had a panic attack?” Caroline asked carefully.

Allison hesitated. “Yes, why do you ask?”

Caroline merely pointed to the two charts laying side by side.

“Patient in 15 just did also?” Allison’s voice was skeptical.

Caroline nodded. “She had to be sedated. Al, look at this. That is Nick Carter. This girl is the one who drank whatever she did in order to stop him from trying to kill himself. Explain this to me.” She said as she pointed in turn to each chart. “They both had them at the same time. How is that possible? How is that a coincidence?” She demanded.

“I, uh, don’t know.” Allison said uneasily. “That is really weird.”

“It gets weirder. When she started to panic, her focus was on Nick. She kept saying that something was wrong. It came totally out of the blue. She hasn’t talked to him or anything.”

The two women continued to talk about it, not realizing that someone was listening to every word of their conversation. Terri vowed that later she would make photo copies of the part in their charts that mentioned that happening. She was dumbfounded by it, but it excited her because she figured that would bring in even more money. For now she would try to get a few pictures of this other girl. She was a little hesitant at first because of what had happened to Nick, but this other chick was out cold so she could get away with it.

She pushed her cart down the hall and tried to act nonchaulant as she went inside. The room was dark with the blinds drawn and no lights on. Only what shone in through the curtain. All the machines beeped steadily now, unlike Nick’s had. The girl looked peaceful and it seemed odd that she would after what she just went through according to the nurses. Terri decided she would like some of whatever was given to the girl.

She whipped out her camera and began snapping away. When the button wouldn’t push she realized that the roll was full and she needed to get more film. Satisfied that she hadn’t been disconvered, she emptied the camera and dropped the roll into her pocket. She had a delivery to make.


~*~*~*~


As Barbara McKean walked down the long hallway past the cafeteria and to
the main lobby, thoughts were still running through her mind about that kid’s
parents and that one boy again. As much as she tried to push the thoughts
out of her mind, they kept re-entering, haunting her, hounding her, not
letting up almost as if it were insisting that she do something.


She knew that Nick Carter was a high profile patient in the hospital. She
knew how important he must be when she pulled into the employee parking
lot when she reported for her 7am shift. There were hundreds of girls, ages
varied, standing on the front lawn which had started to spill out onto the
sidewalk and part of the parking lot. Many were holding pictures of that
patient.


“I have to do something, but I need my job,” Barabara sighed as she walked
past the gift shop. The newspaper rack made her stop. Staring back at her
was a tabloid with a picture of this poor kid laying in bed and split next to it
was a picture of a young girl, also laying in a hospital bed, unconscious.
Barbara grabbed a copy of the paper and slammed a five dollar bill on the
counter with the paper.


“Hey Barb, bad day or something?” Bruce, the volunteer clerk in the shop
asked.


“You could say that,” Barbara mumbled.


“I didn’t think you were the National Enquiror type of a person,” Bruce
chuckled as he rang up her purchase.


“I’m not,” Nurse McKean snapped back.


Bruce leaned back away from her as if she had taken a swing at him. “Whoa,
you are a little testy today.”


The nurse grabbed the paper and the change and spun around on her heels
and stormed off out of the shop. Once she got into the elevator, she could
feel her heart pounding as if it would leap out of her chest. She thumbed
through the magazine until she reached the Nick Carter article.


When the elevator stopped, she quickly folded the paper under her arm and
exited the car. She went directly to the nurses lounge on that floor and took
a seat off in the corner near a lamp and started reading the article:


BAD DAY IN BSB LAND FOR NICK CARTER

In aparent suicide attempt, Nick Carter overdosed on the tour bus while
they were enroute to their next stop in the midwest. Carter was online with
a fan and spelled out his intentions to her. Things went from bad to worse
when the fan followed Carter’s actions and drank a bottle of some type of
asthma medication that caused her heart to speed up and nearly explode.


This did not end with a death, rather this has unfolded into a battle for
their lives! Nick Carter has suffered brain damage and it looks now that he
will never be onstage ever again as this has left him without the ability to
speak or move! The girl has permanent kidney damage and will require a
transplant to save her life!


We are following this soap opera saga and will continue to provide updates
and photos as we received them from our reliable source inside the hospital
in Oklahoma City where they are being cared for.


Nurse McKean’s hands shook with the rage that was filling her body. She
needed to get a hold of herself and calm down, but she couldn’t. The mere
thought that Dr. Minnick would be walking away from this scott free upset
her. Her dilemma was clear: expose Dr. Minnick’s error and lose her job
because of the incident that happened 20 years ago or ignore it ever
happened and watch this kid’s life be ripped from him.


~*~*~*~*~

All through that night Kyung had kept a vigil at Lizz’s bed. Brian had done the same with Nick, much to Kyung’s frustration. She had managed to get him to eat a few crackers yesterday after he had nearly passed out again. He was just so damned stubborn. Once, at about 3 am, she went to Nick’s room to check on them. She was relieved to see Brian was curled up in the corner of the chair, asleep. Unfortunately that didn’t even last an hour because he came to see how Lizz was about 45 minutes after that. He didn’t go back to sleep.

Kyung sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was only a little after 7 am. Her shift would be starting in less than three hours. She watched Lizz sleep and her thoughts drifted to the day before when she and Brian had learned what had happened.

She had returned from the kitchen to find Brian leaning forward, his head in his hands. She frowned, used to seeing him in that position. After giving him the graham crackers they both walked over to the nurses station.

Caroline immediately rushed up to them. Kyung was disturbed by the look on her face. She almost looked scared.

“Kyung right?” She asked.

Kyung nodded.

“Has Lizz had a history of panic attacks that you know of?” She asked.

Kyung shook her head slowly. “No, never.” Where was this going?

Caroline shifted her attention to Brian. “Has Nick?”

Brian shifted uncomfortably. That was too personal of information to be giving out to some random nurse. “Why, do you ask?”

“Please, it is very important!” Caroline stressed.

Both Kyung and Brian could see hear the urgency in this nurse’s voice and they glanced at each other. Finally Brian nodded slightly.

“But Lizz never has? Are you sure of this? Could she be prone to one?” Caroline persisted.

“No, of course not. I would know, she’s my best friend. What is going on?” Kyung demanded.

Caroline leaned forward. “Nick just had one.”

Upon hearing that, Brian shut his eyes. That was the last thing that Nick needed. What had brought this on? He then felt a pang of guilt. If he had been there...

Caroline continued. “At the same time, apparently, Lizz also experienced one.”

Kyung’s mouth fell open. “Lizz did?! Why?!” She exclaimed.

“We don’t know, but it had something to do with Nick. She was very insistent that something was wrong with him. She kept repeating that, and getting more and more upset. Her monitors started to go haywire and she had to be sedated. There was no way that she could have known that Nick was having a panic attack at the very same time. There aren’t phones in the rooms and she, of course, couldn’t go anywhere hooked up to the dialysis. Not to mention that Nick can’t even speak.There was no way that she could have known!” Caroline stated in awe.

Brian looked like he might faint again and Kyung could only stare at the nurse in shock. This was unfathomable. Lizz had never in her life had anything like that happen to her. She couldn’t imagine how this was possible.

“Wait, I’ll show you.” Caroline went to go get the two charts. She brought them back and laid them on the counter. When she opened them, however, those pages were missing. “What on earth?!”

She whirled around. “Allison! What happened to the notes that were just written about the panic attacks?”

Allison looked up from her charting and gave a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“The pages aren’t in here!” Caroline exclaimed. “Who would have taken them?”

Allison began to rummage around the desk. “I don’t know. The only people that were even in here were you, Marissa, but she was not even over here, and a girl from housekeeping.”

Kyung and Brian exchanged nervous glances. That didn’t sound good

.
“I’m sure they will turn up.” Caroline assured them.

Kyung sighed again as her thoughts returned to the present. Lizz had remained knocked out all night. Whatever they had given her was obviously pretty strong. Nick had woken up once, but he got agitated and had to be sedated again. Everyone was still puzzled over the whole situation, but at least one of the nurses had found the missing chart papers. They were actually back in the chart where they should have been in the first place. Kyung wasn’t sure why, but that unnerved her. As did Lizz having a panic attack and why it seemed to be connected to Nick’s. It frustrated Kyung because she liked to have concrete answers to things. This was something that she couldn’t figure out.

There was a knock at the door and a second later Brian let himself in. The look on his face was ashen and his eyes were red.