Chapter Eighteen
Dr. Gaynor was making rounds late today. He usually had
been finished in the morning, but there had been a bus
accident last night that had kept him busy in the trauma
room. As he approached Nick’s room, he was stopped by a
fellow doctor that needed his advice regarding another case
he was working on. Dr. Gaynor glanced at Nick’s chart and
felt that he didn’t really need to go in and see him so he
handed the chart back to the nurse when they walked by the
station.
“Good, the orderlies are here for shift change and
doing vitals, I’m taking a break.” Tiffany sighed. It had
been a busy afternoon and she had been on her feet for most
of her shift. “Janis, could you do the vitals in room 625?”
Tiffany asked the older orderly because she knew she
wouldn’t know Nick Carter’s celebrity.
“Sure,” the orderly replied when she grabbed
Nick’s chart.
As Tiffany settled back into her chair in the
nurse’s lounge another nurse burst through the door.
“Tiff, you need to come and help NOW.”
Tiffany jumped up quickly, she could tell by the
urgency in the nurses voice that it was serious.
“It’s your patient in 625, he’s overdosed.”
“Overdosed, that’s impossible.” Tiffany’s mind
went over what she did with Nick that afternoon. There
wasn’t anything she did that would do that. Then she
remembered the injection she gave him earlier. Her mind was
running through what she had done, could she had given him
too much? Did she forget to chart it and someone else gave
him more?
They rushed into Nick’s room. He was pale and his
lips were blue. A resident was ontop of him doing CPR. He
was barking out orders while he was keeping count. A crash
cart came in and the resident jumped off the bed and put the
paddles to Nick’s chest. His body arched in response to the
jolt that was sent through him.
Everyone in the room looked at the monitor, it
jumped, hesitated and drew a flat line. The resident hit
Nick with the paddles again. Once again, Nick’s body arched
with the surge that went through him. This time, the
monitor responded with the familiar beating rhythm.
Dr. Gaynor rushed into the room. “How the hell
did this happen?” He was angry and everyone backed off. He
took Nick’s chart and looked at the nurses notes.
“Has the blood draw come back yet?” He yelled.
A nurse came through the door with a yellow slip
in her hand. “Here it is doctor, just came in.”
Dr. Gaynor reviewed the results. The drug level
in Nick’s bloodstream jumped out of the paper. The levels
were almost skyrocketed.
“How the hell did he get this combination of
drugs?” Dr. Gaynor demanded.
“I gave him 25ml injection of darvodan when he
asked for some pain meds this afternoon.” Tiffany answered.
“Where the hell did he get the percocet?” Dr.
Gaynor shouted.
No one answered. No one was sure, did Nick try to
kill himself or was this accidental.
“You better hope to hell he comes through this,
I’m sure with a high profile case on our hands, the media
will be having a hellofa time with this one. Dr. Gaynor
knew the next step that had to be taken. Anytime there is a
suicide attempt, the authorities have to be notified.
“Goddamn you people.” Dr. Gaynor stormed out of
the room.
The technicians prepared to move Nick back to ICU.
They would keep this room open for him when he got well
enough to go back up here.
“Brian, I really want to thank you for helping me
out these past few days like you have. I can’t begin to
tell you how much it has meant to me.” Jessica said as they
pulled into the hospital parking lot.
“Jess, you know I wouldn’t be anywhere but here
for you and Nick.” Brian gave Jess a squeeze. They sat in
the parking space for a few minutes.
Looking out at the front lawn, Brian saw the huge
mass of fans.
“Let’s be wild and walk through the middle of
them, do you think that would kill ‘em?” Brian asked Jess
wickedly.
“I’m game if you are, dude.” Jess smiled.
“Let’s do it.” Brian was ready for a challenge.
As they got out of the car, Brian had put on his
Kentucky Wildcats baseball cap and sunglasses. Jess put on
her own Wildcats hat and sunglasses also. Brian suggested
that they go around to the back of the crowd instead of the
front. She giggled as they went to the back of the fans.
So far, no one noticed them standing there.
“Have you seen anyone yet?” Jess asked a girl
standing next to her.
“How do you know what side of the hospital he’s
on?” Jess wondered.
“He’s in room 62625 which means he’s on this side
of the building and the second last window to the north.”
The girl had the hospital mapped out.
Jess glanced at Brian when the girl knew which
room Nick was in.
“Have you tried to get in?” Jess asked.
“Oh, god no, they have guards everywhere, the only
one they let in is that girl that we have seen with the rest
of the Backstreet Boys. She sure is one lucky girl.”
“Oh, who do you think she is?” Jess was curious
to see what the girl would say.
“I’ve heard that she is either a sister of one of
the guys or possibly a girlfriend of Nick’s. I really don’t
think she’s a girlfriend though, I heard that he is freed up
at the moment.”
Brian laughed, he couldn’t resist. It seemed that
as soon as he laughed, someone in the crowd recognized him.
“Ohmygod, are you Brian Littrell?” a girl
standing next to Brian asked.
Brian gave Jess the look to leave. She grabbed
his arm and held on tight. They made their way through the
crowd grabbing at him. Jess had someone pull her hair at
one point. Brian didn’t slow his pace down, he was afraid
to stop. The crowd was moving them along the way.
They made it into the hospital and onto an
elevator. As Brian pressed the number six button, Jess
laughed at him. “That had to be one of your dumbest ideas
yet. I can’t wait to tell Nick just to see the look on his
face.”
Brian smiled as if he was pleased with himself.
He enjoyed doing some of the regular things that his fame
has limited him in doing so.
They got off the elevator and walked down the hall
towards Nick’s room. Brian and Jess both slowed their steps
when they saw that there wasn’t a guard standing outside of
his room. They glanced at each other both thinking that
maybe Nick was in therapy again or having a test or
something and that was why the guard was not at his post.
As they walked into his room, they did not see
anything unusual to indicate that Nick was not there. Jess
asked Brian if she should check at the nurses station to see
where Nick was. Brian told her to wait a few minutes and
see if he comes back. After about ten minutes had passed,
Brian said he would go and check what was keeping Nick.
Brian came back into the room, his face ashen.
“Jess, come with me.”
“What’s wrong?” Jess was scared by the way Brian
was acting.
Brian didn’t say anything to her until they got on
the elevator and he pressed number four. He turned to
Jessica to tell her.
“Nick tried to kill himself this afternoon.”
Brian’s voice was thick with emotion.
“What! No, not Nick. Why would he do such a
thing, how could he do such a thing?” Jess asked.
“I dunno, we’ll have to wait to talk with the
doctor or nurse where he’s at.” Brian replied.
They got off the elevator and stopped at the
nurses station in ICU.
“Nick Carter’s room.” Brian asked the nurse.
The nurse looked at them suspiciously. Jessica
still had her green badge around her neck for visitation
clearance. She lifted it up for the nurse to see.
“He’s in room 4014, down this hall.”
“Thank you.” Brian smiled at the nurse as they
turned to go to the room.
When they entered the room, they found Nick again
surrounded by IV lines, machines and devices. He was
unconscious.
“What happened?” Jess asked the nurse in the
room. “How did he do this, how is he?”
“He tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose
of percocet.” The nurse did not elaborate any more than she
had to.
“How did he get the percocet?” Jess demanded.
“As best as we can tell, he didn’t take it when
they would give it to him, he would stash it. We estimate
that he had taken approximately fourteen tablets. He also
requested an injection of pain medication and had that given
to him around the same time he had taken the pills. If the
orderly had not come into his room to take his vitals, he
would not have been around too much longer.”
“Will he be okay?” Jess was afraid to ask.
“Time will tell.” The nurse did not give them
anything to go on with his condition. “You’ll have to wait
to talk to his doctor.”
Jess went over to the bed and put her hand on
Nick’s. His skin was cold and clammy, his face was pale and
his lips were blue. “Thank god he isn’t on a respirator
again Brian.”
Brian nodded. He was silently praying for his
friend.
Dr. Gaynor entered the room and greeted Brian with
a handshake. “Nick is a pretty lucky man to be alive right
now. It was fortunate that the orderly went into his room
when she did, if it were even ten minutes more, he would be
gone.”
“He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” Jess asked
with a shakey voice.
“I have to wait until he wakes up, I don’t know
how long his heart had stopped.” Dr. Gaynor replied.
“His heart stopped?” Jessica asked in shock. She
looked down at Nick. “Is that why his lips are so blue and
he’s so cold?”
“His lips are probably discolored because of the
heart stopping but also because of the toxins in his body.
As you can see all of the IV’s that are being pushed into
his system, we are trying to flush the remainder out of his
system. Like I said, we will know more about Nick when Nick
wakes up.” Dr. Gaynor told Jess as he patted her shoulder.
After several hours with Brian sitting with her as
they kept vigil waiting for Nick to wake up, Jess started
feeling angry towards Nick.
“You know what bugs me the most?” Jessica started
out. “I have put my life on hold because of this stupid
accident, been here and practically lived here and what does
Nick do? He tries to take a cowards way out because he
doesn’t want to face reality. It would take a lot of time
and effort on his part and he didn’t want to cope with it.
Everything Nick has done in his life came easy for him up to
now. He can’t handle any challenges. I’m sick of this
whole damn thing.” Jess stood up as if to leave.
Brian sat listening to Jessica spout off. He knew
she was getting stressed by the situation and was hurt that
Nick didn’t talk to anyone about how he was feeling.
“You know Brian, he was feeling sorry for himself
a couple of days ago before the interview. He never said
anything to me but I could see it in his eyes, his face.
It’s my fault that I didn’t do something back then.”
“Okay, hold it, now you’re getting stupid. Listen
to yourself, no one knows what’s going on in Nick’s head but
Nick. After he wakes up, I’m sure there will be a few
people that will be helping Nick deal with whatever problems
he is having. Don’t beat yourself up on this.” Brian
replied.
Nick moaned quietly. Brian and Jess looked over
at the bed. His eyes fluttered open and then he looked
around the room and at the IV’s hanging from the pole. Nick
didn’t say anything he closed his eyes again.
“Nick?” Jess wanted to see if he was alert and
awake.
“What?” Nick answered quietly.
“What the hell is going on? What were you
thinking about? Don’t you realize how much you’ve hurt me
and the other people that love you?” Jessica was firing the
questions off to Nick. Brian grabbed her arm to quiet her.
“Just leave me alone.” Nick responded.
“No, I won’t leave you alone. I want you to think
about what you did. Damnit Nick, you hurt me.” Jess could
feel the tears burning her eyes.
“Get the fuck out of here.” Nick yelled at her.
He looked at Brian, “You too, I don’t need anyone in here.”
“Fine, be by yourself, that’s what you want.” Jess
angrily took off her hospital ID badge and threw it at Nick.
“I won’t be needing this anymore either.” She stormed out
the door.
Brian got up and looked at his friend laying in
the bed.
“What the hell are you looking at? I told you to
leave.” Nick muttered.
Brian knew all of Nick’s moods, but this was a new
one to him. Nick was rarely a yeller and treated people
with respect, he had never seen his friend act so mean and
irrational.
“You got a lot of thinking to do, boy, you just
ruined something good.” Brian said as he turned and left.
As he was walking out the door Nick started yelling.
“I don’t need anything from anyone. I will be
fine, do you hear me?”
Brian found Jessica sitting on the floor against
the wall outside of the room. She was crying so hard her
body was shaking.
“What is happening to him, to us?” Jess looked up
at Brian.
Brian sat down on the floor beside her. “I don’t
know what to say Jess. I think he realized what he had done
and failed and was now embarrassed to think that he couldn’t
even do that right. I think he knows he hurt people, but he
is afraid to reach out. We will have to pray for him to get
the strength and grace from God that he needs.”
As they sat in the hallway, a nurse walked past
them and into Nick’s room. They were both wondering how
Nick would treat her. When the nurse walked out of the room
after a few minutes they stopped her and asked her.
“I’m sorry, I don’t discuss patients with people
other than family,” the nurse replied as she walked away.
“She must of thought we were fans or something.”
Brian stated. “I’m suprized she don’t call security to have
us removed.
“Don’t look now then.” Jess told Brian as she saw
a tall man in a police uniform approach them.
“You are going to have to move.” the officer said
to Brian and Jess.
“It’s okay, we can be here.” Jess told the man.
“How do you figure that?” The officer questioned.
“We’re on the list to enter his room.” Brian
stated.
“Well then, you are either going to have to enter
the room or go to the lobby, let me see your
identification.” The officer demanded.
Jess was going to show the officer the green badge
around her neck but as she was reaching for it remembered
that she threw it at Nick. She also did not have her
driver’s license on her as it was in her purse which was
still in Nick’s room.
“Um, I’m on the list, but my ID is in Nick’s room
in my purse.” Jess said to the officer.
“Yeah, sure.” The officer didn’t believe her.
Brian gave the officer his driver’s license. The
man looked over his identification and then checked the
list.
“Is this true what this girl is saying?” The
officer asked Brian as he handed the license back to him.
Brian had a mischevious smile play across his
face.
“Brian, tell him.” Jess pleaded, she knew what he
was thinking.
“Yes she is cleared to be in there.” Brian
replied.
“Okay, but you either need to go back into the
room or go to the lobby, we can’t have people sitting in the
hall.” The officer turned away.
“Brian, do you think it would be okay for you to
go and get my purse out of the room?” Jess asked.
“Are you scared of Nick? I don’t think he can
hurt you.” Brian asked.
“Physically, no, but mentally yes. I don’t want
to get him riled up again.” Jess said.
“Oh, just go back in and get your purse, you don’t
need to say anything to him, I’m sure he’s sleeping again
anyway.” Brian replied.
“Will you go in with me?” Jess asked.
“Will you quit being such a wuss and go and get
your purse? I’ll be out here if you need me.” Brian winked
at Jess. “It will be okay, trust me.”
Jessica swallowed hard as she pushed the door
open. She slid through the opening quietly and walked
softly over to the chair where she left her purse sitting.
She glanced over at Nick out of the corner of her eye and
noticed that the top of his hand was bloody. There was
blood on the sheets as well. Nick had ripped his IV lines
out of his hand!
“Nickolas Gene Carter, what the hell are you
doing?” Jessica was so mad at him for avoiding all of the
help people were trying to give him.
Nick jerked when she yelled. He turned and looked
at her. The look on his face scared her. She had never
seen him look at her and then through her at the same time.
“I thought I told you to get the hell out of here.
Leave me alone! I don’t need anyone, anywhere. Just leave
me alone and let me die.” Nick yelled at the top of his
lungs. It was enough to bring Brian into the room and the
security guard as well.
Brian saw the blood and left the room to get the
nurse.
“Go, see Brian is smart enough to take the hint,
LEAVE!!” Nick yelled at Jessica again.
“I was just getting my purse, I’m going.” Jess
snapped back, hurt.
The nurse appeared in the room with a syringe.
Nick looked at her and started yelling, “You’re not touching
me with that thing, get away from me.” He tried to push the
nurse away.
The nurse left the room for a moment but then
reappeared with three men in hospital scrubs. Jess wasn’t
sure if they were doctors, orderlies or what. The men held
Nick down as she administered the shot in the first
available arm or leg she could get at. Within thirty
seconds, Nick’s body started to relax and then went limp.
“Thanks guys.” The nurse told the men as they
left the room.
“What did you give him?” Jessica asked.
“Just a little valium to relax him and get him to
rest,” the nurse responded.
“He’s so agitated, he’s not himself.” Jessica was
growing concerned about Nick’s change in personality.
“There is an order for the psych doctor to come
and see him later today. I know he would want to talk with
family before he talks to Nick. Are you going to be around
for awhile?” The nurse asked Jess.
“I will not leave if I am needed. I want to do
whatever I can to help Nick.” Jess replied.