.12.02.00. | .03:21:25.am.

"it's getting cold all over again so i'll be inside way too much again. you'll have to believe me. you have to hear me when i say i'll make up something that you'll believe in me..."

man, i'm messed up. i'm hungover at the moment; i puked up whatever it is i drank at happy hour. and that means i can't sleep. lucky for me, fast times is on right now, so that should keep me going for the next hour or so. but i'm still messed up. i'm kind of sick of me, if that makes any sense. and if that's how i feel, then i can't help but wonder what everyone else is thinking. i kind of want to just crawl into a hole and be forgotten for like the winter or something. then the spring will come around and then i'll just come back with a bang! all refreshed and new and interesting and whatnot. right now i just feel used up. i really don't have anything going for me right now. i dunno... it's like every person i deal with (and fuck me for using the words "deal with"..) i find something.. not wrong with, but just something just.. i dunno, odd about them. someone even pointed this out to me.. god, it's like every time i find something wrong with me, there's someone there that'll tell me that exact same thing, like at the same exact moment that i figure it out for myself. it's as if i need my shortcomings to be pointed out to me. so anyway, i'm an optimistic guy, for the most part. but then i always happen to find the one thing that'll peeve me off about someone. i don't mean to do it, but then it just happens. out of nowhere, i just find it, and then it like glows and pulsates and p's me off. f me. and that's what people probably do with me too. how's that for optimism? ah well. i'm gonna pay attention to this movie now. fast times. damn, those were the days...

"...this is becoming too routine for me. there will be time tomorrow, but it's days like this that keep me alive."
:: texas is the reason. { nickel wound }

back, back, backwards motion...