w a t c h y o u s l e e p
heat is rising, but the weather outside is cold and snow.
these sheets twist and tangle in our legs.
it makes the sweat from my cheeks against yours
grace our lips. and this sour kiss
is the best taste i've ever had.
she'd wake up in a cold sweat. and does she know
that she's been holding my hand?
will she believe these eyes that can't help but look in her soul?
i think she's stirring now,
and i don't dare to shut my eyes.
i have that feeling in my gut
she's dreaming. i only want
to remember her smile, but for now
i'll watch you sleep.
feel the light begin to peak.
and we'll start over with the sun.
something inside me is waiting
to take over. i want no control.
that someone next to me is smiling
in her sleep. i won’t let her go.
" y o u r e y e s . . t h e y s p a r k l e t o n i g h t "
i'm lying awake
because i'm afraid you might wake up.
it's such a cold morning, and your knees are shaking.
remember my cheeks against yours? because i can't let go.
and you roll. you pull me down with you
to the floor. the sunrise looks different upside-down,
and my mind drifts around to the last time we lied there alone.
so now i'm watching you breathe.
your chest heaves, and i feel the impending sigh.
your eyelashes fluster, and i catch you peeking
with one curious eye, and i want to know:
does this smile from my ear to ear
fit the mouth on your face that's telling me i'm weird?
with my thumb on your cheek and my pinky behind your ear,
i'm holding the universe.
i'm tasting the milky way.
in your eyes, i'm seeing stars
like the glowing green marks on your ceiling
i've stared up at countless nights before.
i'll shut up now.
i'll learn to feel things through my arms-
not through my mind, not through my mouth.
but every time i look your way
i catch a shade of heaven
because the stars are yours
in your eyes.
d i e d a n d g o n e ( t o h e a v e n )
awakened by a groan to the left of me,
i feel it with my arm across your stomach.
this morning feels a little less than lonely,
and darling, yes, i'm blaming you.
i tilt my my head, staring at your toes,
curled and shaded red in this cold room.
this morning all the covers covering the floor,
and now all the colors don't match.
and i bet you hate that.
awakened by a voice deep inside of me-
it's telling me to break all the boundaries.
this morning, i will spend with a deity,
and darling, yes, that means you.
i roll over and play dead on heaven
on top of this heavenly body.
this morning all the stars are mistaken,
your eyelids are hiding constellations.
but not the glowing blanket on your ceiling
i'm burying my head in your neck. i'll never get
sick of this scent. i'll never get tired of
being able to feel you against my skin.
and when you feel my chest caving in
and when you feel my lungs stop breathing,
that's my heart giving in.
so this is what's it's like to wake up in heaven.
2 s t a r s f o r 1 m o o n
it's up in the air
i'm staring at this black sky right now
if only you were here
this moment is ours for the taking
so call it in the air
and when you believe i can share the sky with you
i'll take you out tonight
and you can have the stars
but you want the moon-
so i'll turn around and give it to you.
i'll take a photograph for you
so i can erase the stars
do you want me to?
because i have it in me to make your dreaming true
i'll give it all away for one more kiss
i'll trade my stars for something closer to you
l o n g w a l k , w r o n g w a y .
i stare across this misty parking lot
i barely see the sun peaking out and reaching out
to touch my face to take the tears away
i tilt back and taste the sky giving out
but all the rain can do is wash me down
i wish i would have kissed you
i wonder if you expected nothing less. but the worst
part about this is now i'm second-guessing everything. i'm lost
on where to go and where i am
i can't believe in myself ever again.
when you feel like giving up
i will pull the weights and bear the cross
i'm almost there.
when you can't stand any longer,
i will make myself be stronger for the both of us
when you're scared,
i'll check under the bed.
i'll make myself believe in you.
p h i l l y .
(note: if you're not kathleen reading this, then this'll make little to no sense. meh.)
you'd paint my nails with a fine, silver coat.
and you'd take my boxers and make them into your own.
and if i can't remember the smile that you gave that first night..
kathleen, will you smile for me?
you made me see doctor death when my tummy ached real bad.
and you made your pupils small when you knew that i hated that.
i lay here at night wishing you'd fill the nook by my side..
but kathleen, you're five hundred miles away.
all this time has faded.
without you, it's all just a blur.
and i know i can't hide.
i've overplayed this "missing you shit."
it's gone on long enough.. but i'm missing you still.
the way that your head lays itself in my open palm.
and how you'd just lay there waiting for me to turn off the alarm.
you're the only girl that could fuck up my frown..
oh kathleen, i wish i were holding you now.
because do you remember
the time i licked the side of your face?
you pushed me away.
but come september, i'll be there for you
to pull me back.. and i'll be there to stay.
and now it's the end of your song..
remember, here's the part
where i say "i love you."
s u m m e r r a i n
i'd catch myself staring
out through a stained white
window over the gray
houses and whispering
your name. the sweltering
sun on this blistering
friday catches me offguard
and through the blurry heat i'd swear that i'd
see your face.
and i will take this
one last figment
of my imagined stare
and swallow it down
with the thickness in the air.
my throat will burn with every breath
and every thought of you.
i feel it everywhere.
your light creeps from the ground
and swells into a ball
of fire in the hole
inside my burning skull.
my head wants to explode,
to take you down into
the depths where you won't ever go.
angel, do believe
in something greater
you see? heaven's tears
can cry even out there
where it seems everything
is untouched by the dawning of the sun.
you've become so caught up
inside a painted world whose palette beams
only shades of grey.
i can feel you from this far away.
the summer rain washes the paint.
the colors change.
the world refrains and sets you free.
you can do anything you want to.
i can hear you breathing, and sometimes you
can find that a taste of the sky
will take me back to you.