**Warning: There is some mature content in this chapter. If you do not wish to read it, feel free to skim over or skip that part.
Days passed, and days soon turned into weeks, which turned into months, and now winter was approaching. The weather turned cold. Well, cold for Florida. And it seemed the weather outside was beginning to match the feelings of the adults in the Timberlake household.
~ December 7th ~
Alexia was hanging some clothes up in her closet when she noticed a box on the high shelf. It was the only box in there that she knew didn’t belong to her. She thought nothing of it, and went back to her chores for the day.
That night, Alexia had a little trouble sleeping. She turned to look at the clock on her nightstand. “Quarter to 12?” she mumbled. Josh had gone to bed three hours ago and Justin was still at the studio. “Could’ve at least had the courtesy to call and say he was gonna be home this late,” she grumbled. Getting out of bed, she tried to think of something to help her sleep. Then, Alexia remembered the box that was in her closet. She quickly retrieved the box and carried downstairs, to the living room. A fire she’d lit was dying in the fireplace, so she threw another log on it, helping it to grow again. She settled into the spacious, yet very comfy, overstuffed easy chair and opened the box. Inside, she found a large photo album and bound stacks of pictures. Alexia took out the photo album and opened it up.
Tears began to swell in her eyes as she realized it was pictures from the beginning of her relationship with Justin. There were photos from their first date, charity functions, and even magazine and newspaper cut-outs of articles about them after they made their relationship known to the public. As she turned each page, it was like she was experiencing their relationship all over again. The photo album was like a timeline of their time together. After a few pages, she got to the pictures from when she became pregnant. Pictures of Justin at Lamaze class, practicing the breathing techniques with her, made her laugh quietly to herself. And pictures of Justin on his knees in front of her, hands and head resting on her swollen stomach, helped her to recall some of the good memories they had.
Alexia was so engrossed with the photo album that she didn’t hear Justin come home. For a moment, he stood in the doorway, just staring at her. The soft light from the fire gave Alexia a sort of glowing appearance. The sight alone nearly took his breath away. Silently he crossed the room to stand behind her, and still she did not notice him. When he recognized the pictures she was looking at, the coldness returned to him once more.
“Going through my things again, Alex?” Justin asked calmly, yet in an accusing tone.
The icy voice startled Alexia out of her reverie, as she gasped audibly and turned to face him, knocking the box, and all the pictures, to the ground.
“Justin!” she exclaimed quietly, careful not to wake their son. “No. I found these in my closet.” She offered her explanation as she scrambled to pick up the photos of the floor.
Justin walked around the chair to assist her in cleaning up the small mess. They worked in quiet. When the pictures were back in the box, Alexia resumed her position in the chair, the photo album open in her lap, and she continued to look through it.
“Why are you looking at those?” Justin asked, “They’re so old.”
“They’re memories… some I had forgotten. I don’t remember this photo album.”
“I… um… I put it together just before you… uh… left… It was going to be a gift… for our anniversary. After you left I just put it in the box and threw it in the closet. I couldn’t stand to look at them.” His voice sounded somewhat bitter towards the end of his confession.
There was a short pause of wordlessness, which was eventually broken by Alexia.
“We look so happy in these pictures.”
“We were happy. Well, I was happy.”
“I don’t like where this is going. This isn’t something I want to talk about right now.”
“Well, I—“
“Justin, Christmas is coming and it’s the holiday season. I want Josh to be happy, and I want to be happy during this time. So I don’t want to get into any arguments with you, at least until the holiday season is over. Ok?”
“Ok. How ‘bout we take those pictures back upstairs?”
“But I wasn’t done looking at them…”
“You can look at them upstairs. We can look at them upstairs.” He helped Alexia out of the chair, them grabbed the box and made his way up the stairs, with Alexia trailing right behind him with the photo album.
“Whose room are we going to?” Alexia questioned.
“Doesn’t matter to me.”
“How ‘bout yours then?”
“Whatever you want, Alexia.”
They went into Justin’s bedroom and got situated on the bed. Justin set the box on the floor, and they sat, leaning back against the headboard. Justin’s arm was around Alexia’s waist and he held the photo album between them. The only light in the room was the dim lamp on Justin’s nightstand.
“Ya know, I haven’t looked at these pictures in five years,” Justin admitted.
“I haven’t ever seen them, so I think I have you beat,” Alexia smiled up at him.
Justin turned his head to look at her and smiled back, then returned his gaze to the album. He noticed they were halfway through the book already, and coming up on the pictures of Josh being born.
“I’ll never forget that day,” Alexia commented, “That was the happiest day of my life.”
“I know. I remember it like it was just yesterday. I remember how when you were delivering, you would yell at me to ‘get the hell out of your sight’ because ‘I had done this to you’, and the next second you would be gushing about how much you loved me and how you didn’t want me to ever leave your side. And I remember how you were squeezing my hand so hard that I thought my fingers were gonna shatter. Then, there was the moment when we first saw him and they rested our son in your arms. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life. The woman I loved holding our son. Someone that was brought into this world because of how much we loved each other. Someone who was part of you and part of me, that linked us forever. And I remember how the first thing that ran through my mind was that I didn’t mind being linked with you forever in that way, because I loved you too much to ever let you go.” Justin turned to see her reaction to his heart-felt confession, only to find that she’d fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of his reminiscing. He didn’t even seem to notice the few tears that trickled down his face as he kissed the top of her head and turned out the light. He maneuvered so that they were lying down on the bed instead of sitting up, then shut is own eyes in pure exhaustion.
“I recognize this,” Alexia whispered to herself as she looked around the room. The romantic candlelight dinner for two, the soft smooth music playing in the background, the man, and the words; she remembered this immediately. This was the night that her and Justin had first exchanged ‘I love you’s. One moment she was watching the scene, the next she was part of it. Justin kissed her, and they shared their first kiss of expressed love. “I love you, Lexi,” he whispered after the parted slightly, “More than you’ll ever know.”
“I love you too, Justin,” she murmured just before leaning in to capture his lips again.
When the kiss started getting really steamy is when Alexia realized she wasn’t just dreaming anymore. She opened one eye to discover that she was actually kissing him. She wasn’t sure if he even realized it because it seemed as if he was also asleep. Wonder what he could be dreaming about if he’s kissing me like this. It can’t be me, because we all know how he feels about me.
Justin’s hand slipped under her satin nightgown, moving over her thigh to rest on her bare stomach, massaging gently. And that’s when her thought process stopped. Her own hands timidly found their way to his bare chest.
Justin wasn’t sure when he crossed the line back into the world of the conscious, but he quickly realized that he hadn’t just been dreaming what was happening between him and Alexia. He didn’t know if she was asleep or not, though. Well, I can think of one way to find out.
His lips moved from hers to her neck, and continued downward. “Lexi,” he groaned softly.
Alexia eyes opened in shock. “Justin?” she whispered.
When Justin reached her collarbone, he moved his head above hers again. And when their eyes collided, so did their worlds, and there was some kind of emotional explosion that broke down all barriers between them for that instant. After that, no words needed to be spoken. Justin leaned down and seized her lips in a kiss of passion and love. It was a kiss neither wanted to end, and it didn’t.
~ The Next Morning ~
Justin walked into the kitchen to find Alexia sitting there, eating her breakfast quietly. It appeared that Josh had already left for school, and they were alone in the house.
After enduring the uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Justin couldn’t take it anymore.
“Last night was… it was…” Justin tried to explain what he was thinking.
“A mistake,” Alexia stated. “It was a mistake, Justin. Neither of us meant for it to go that far. But it did, and now we just have to move on.”
Justin’s heart clenched in his chest. A mistake? Justin had put all his heart into the love making they’d experienced last night, and she called it a mistake. He didn’t think that he could deal with that. “Yeah. I have to be getting into the studio. We have a meeting. I’ll see you later, Alex.” It felt like he couldn’t get out of there fast enough, and he didn’t let his tears fall until he was in his car. That’s when he cried out all his frustrations and pain. What he didn’t know was that Alexia was doing the same thing inside the house. I knew he thought it was a mistake. I just knew it! What kind of fool am I to keep putting myself through this with him?
~ Later that day ~ “Justin, get the hell out of my studio!” JC half-yelled in frustration.
“I’m sorry, C. I just—“ Justin attempted to apologize.
“I don’t care,” JC cut him off, “Just get, out, of my, studio.”
“Jace-“
“Now!”
“Alright, alright. No need to get pushy,” Justin surrendered, walking out of the booth.
JC turned off the mic so the other guys wouldn’t hear what he said.
“What’s with you today? We’ve had to go over this same part at least 25 times already. And this is the easy stuff! I want to know what your problem is,” JC questioned Justin’s strange behavior.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, you’re gonna talk about it alright.”
“I SAID, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I know what you said, and I’m telling you that you are going to talk about it.”
“You can’t force me to talk to you, JC.”
“You’re right. But you’re gonna talk anyway, because I know you. I know that if you don’t talk, you’ll keep it bottled up inside and let it fester. You’ll close off from us and stop concentrating on what’s important, like you are now. Then, you’ll eventually blow up at someone who probably doesn’t deserve it.”
“I don’t care what you think or what you say right now. I’m not going to talk about it.” Fed up, Justin walked out, mumbling things under his breath all the way to his car. After slamming the car door shut, he glanced at his watch. “5:30? Man, I’m gonna be home so early,” Justin sighed in distress. That means I’m gonna have to face her.
~At the House~
“Josh! Wash your hands and set the table! Dinner’s almost ready!” Alexia called to her son from the kitchen. She watched Josh walk in, get the silverware, and walk out again as she turned off the stove burners. She smiled. This is how it’s supposed to be. She didn’t even hear the front door as she frowned and got lost in her thoughts. Except, of course, for the one thing that’s missing… And that’s-
“Dad!” Josh’s voice broke into her thoughts. And what he said made her freeze in shock. Justin walked into the kitchen and saw Alexia with her hands, unmoving, over a pot, seemingly staring off into space.
“I hope you made enough for me too,” he spoke, his voice startling her out of her trance.
“You know I always save you a plate for when you get home. Why would tonight be any different?” her tone somewhat icy when she replied.
“I don’t know. You could’ve made a mistake,” the word was meant to hit her hard, and it did so successfully. “And besides, everything seems different now.”
“Not everything,” she retaliated before walking out of the room with her plate.
That was a direct jab at him, and he knew it. Though, he couldn’t figure out what she meant by it. Quickly, he grabbed his dinner and followed her into the dining room.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Justin questioned angrily.
“Justin!” Alexia hissed, turning in her chair to glare at him.
He then noticed that Josh was in the room, and looking confusedly at him. He bent down to whisper forcefully in her ear, “This isn’t over.”
The tension was thick in the air that night, and the two hoped their son didn’t notice.
Alexia had just slipped her nightgown on when Justin barged unexpectedly into her room, closing the door behind him.
“What the hell did you mean when you said that not everything was different?” Justin demanded furiously.
“You’re lucky you hadn’t walked in a second sooner than you did, or I would’ve kicked your ass,” Alexia purposely ignored his question, smoothing down the nightgown.
“I’ve seen you in a lot less than that,” he threw her words back at her, then smirked arrogantly, “In fact, that nightgown was on my floor, instead of you last night, if I remember correctly.”
Her eyes widened at his audacity, and she promptly smacked him across the face.
“How dare you!”
His head slowly turned to face her again. His eyes had become a fiery bright blue, as he remembered why he’d come to her room in the first place. “Answer my question. What the hell did you mean when you said what you did?”
“God, Justin, you’re so full of yourself. I didn’t mean anything by it. I only said that because I knew you’d get paranoid that someone thought there was something wrong with you. And obviously it worked. You think everything is about you. God forbid someone think you’re not perfect. There’s this little thing called humility. Why don’t you get some?”
Justin was about to say something when she continued.
“And you know what? There is someone who thinks you’re not perfect. Me! I don’t just think it, I know it. All you are, is a heartless prick. That’s what I think of you.”
He stared at her for a minute before attacking her. The heat in his gaze didn’t even compare to the fire that was in his kiss. It started out somewhat slow, the quickly became frantic, as it seemed they couldn’t get enough of each other. They made their way to the bed. “God, Lexi,” Justin mumbled in between kisses, “You’re so… gorgeous… especially… when you’re… mad.”
They fell back onto the mattress, but when she felt the familiar feeling of Justin’s weight on top of her, reality slapped her in the face.
“No,” she tried to say, “Justin. Justin, stop,” she pushed him away from her.
“What?” he asked, both of them breathing heavily.
“We’re doing it again.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he smiled, diving for her lips again.
She turned her head before he could get there, “This isn’t right,” she tried to explain.
“We’re just having some fun.”
“I’m not your sex slave that you can call on anytime you want a quickie, Justin!”
“That’s not-“
“Then what did you mean?” she cut him off, knowing what he was going to say.
“Just, never mind, Alexia,” he stood up, making his way towards the door.
“Wait. I don’t want things to be tense. Josh will notice if things continue to go the way that they did tonight. Can we at least be civil?”
“Fine. Civil,” he agreed, then walked out of the room. Quickly he went to his own room and leaned back against the closed door. He couldn’t get her, or the things he would’ve done to her if she hadn’t stopped him, out of his mind. He looked towards his bed, and memories from the night before flooded his head. He glanced down and noticed his ‘growing problem’. God! Why the hell do I let her do this to me? Justin walked to the bathroom and started the water for a cold shower.