Altered States - Chapter 29
I stared out the window of my dad’s car as he drove me to Cortez Community Health
Hospital. Although I signed the papers to have me admitted as a patient there, I still
couldn’t get past the feeling that I had made some type of mistake. This seemed
embarrassing to me, I mean, I wasn’t suicidal, at least I didn’t think I demonstated that I
had those tendancies.
“Hey Nick, Aaron wanted me to give you something, it’s in the glovebox, red package.”
I glanced over at my dad as I reached for the glovebox. I knew I was putting my family
through hell with the way I was acting since Brian’s accident, I felt horrible about it.
When I opened the compartment, a small, red box was waiting for me. Without hesitation,
I tore the paper off the package. It was a cassette tape with my first name written in
Aaron’s handwriting on the front. “What’s this?”
“Aaron wanted you to have this, I don’t know what’s on it, I didn’t press him, but I’m sure
it’s something special,” my father assured me.
I slipped the cassette into my jacket pocket, brushing the pack of cigarettes. I hesitated
for a moment, touching the lighter. I really could have smoked at that moment to relieve
the tension I was feeling, but I couldn’t bring myself up to letting my dad down with
smoking.
My heart caught in my throat as the car rounded the corner and a tall, stone wall with
steel gates came into view. I nervously swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat
as I read the words: CORTEZ COMMUNITY HEALTH HOSPITAL. This was it, the
“crazy house”, I was scared to death. I about jumped ten feet in the air when my father
touched my shoulder and began to speak.
“Nick, it’s going to be okay. This was a good decision on your part, you are taking the right
steps to getting better. You know that your mother and I are supporting you one hundred
percent as well as your sisters and brother.”
I blinked the tears back, praying silently that they wouldn’t fall. I didn’t want to be
labeled a wuss, I needed to take this like a man - a man that was scared shitless and
wanted to run far and fast from this place. The only thing that was stopping me from doing
that at that particular moment was that the car was still moving.
Dad pulled up under the black canopy and insisted on taking my carryon bag to the door,
against my protests. He quickly pushed the button on the tiny gray box that was mounted
next to the windowed doors.
“Yes?” a female voice cracked across the intercom system.
“Nickolas Carter is here for admission,” came my father’s reply. I simply hung my head. I
felt humiliated.
A sharp humming noise followed by a click, indicated that the door was opened for our
entrance. Once we had stepped inside, the door seemed to have slammed shut, I took that
as a silent ’you belong to us now - do not escape’. As we entered the lobby, we were
immediately greeted by a woman, who appeared to be in her late forties, dark hair pulled
back away from her face and a soft manner in the way she carried herself.
“Hi, Nickolas? My name is Alberta Watson,” she stated as she offered her hand out for me
to shake.
“Nick,” I corrected as best as I could with mumbling. “Hi.”
“Okay, hi Nick, and you must be his father I take it?”
I glanced around the lobby and the woman not missing a beat, immediately addressed it.
“Relax Nick, it’s not like what you see in movies and on television,” Alberta soothed.
I smiled at her slightly. This was all too weird for me. “Well, um, I was kinda expecting
something different I guess.”
“We have a special ward for those types of patients, they’re isolated from the rest of the
area, you don’t have to worry about that,” the woman smiled. She nervously cleared her
throat and then smoothed her skirt. “Well, if you say your goodbyes to your father, we will
get you situated and settled into a room.”
“I... I was hoping he could stay with me for a little longer,” I stammered. God, I really
didn’t want him to leave me at all. As much as I hated to admit it, I was scared.
“Nick, I’m sorry but those are the rules. We have specific visiting hours and your family
has already received the literature on that, am I right?” Alberta glanced towards my dad
for acknowledgement.
Without hesitation, my dad quickly hugged me, holding me in his arms for a few moments.
“Nick, it’s going to get better, just take this one day at a time, okay?”
One day at a time, that was always Brian’s motto on life.
“I love you, dad.”
“I love you too, son. We will talk to you tomorrow.”
Before he left, my father did the most amazing thing, something that I hadn’t gotten from
him in over eight years. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and he kissed my forehead and
hugged me again.
“Goodbye Nicky.”
Okay, the tears in his eyes did it to me. I lost it before he even left the hospital. The soft
touch of Alberta wrapping an arm around my waist as she led me towards a hallway,
seemed to calm me down a little.
“It’s going to be okay Nick. Don’t worry.”
Chapter 30
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