I'm a little nervous when Friday arrives. Part of me really wants to see Brian again and another part of me kinda wishes he wasn't coming. I guess I'm scared of the level of commitment he'll want from me and although I felt strongly about him, I was still unsure about our relationship. The doorbell rings, making me jump, so when I answer the door and he's standing there, my heart does a little flutter. He looks so good.

"Hey" I say almost shyly

Hey" leaning towards her and kissing her softly yet firmly with longing

I pull away after a few moments. "How was your flight?"

"Not bad... but I'm more worried about you.."

"You needn't worry...I'm alright"

"You didn't sound so sure of it a few days ago."

I slump into the sofa. "That was then, and I'd had a few drinks"

I didn't know what to think now. Did she really need me as much as I thought or was I just hoping she was. I sat down beside her.

Wrapping my arm around her, and cupping her chin and turning to face to mine I looked into her eyes.

"Are you absolutely sure? You can tell me anything.... anything at all"

"I got used to being with you and it's strange not being able to call you up and see you. When I came back to Uni, I didn't give it a chance. I have to make my life here work"

"Is it making it worse with my being here?"

I bite down on my bottom lip "probably...but if we don't see each other then is there any point in us having a relationship?"

Her response wasn't what I had wanted to hear. Did she now want to end it? Was it too much for her? Maybe the long distance thing was a bad idea. But I really didn't want to see it end either. I cared about her.

Sighing, "Well, we knew it was probably going to be like this from the start. I mean I can fly out to see you on our time off, but when the tour starts, that's when it's going to get hectic. But we can get through it. I mean, I know you need to be here and do the school thing. And me being around, I know might hinder that. So I guess, maybe its a good thing that we can't see each other as much as we'd like. But it depends on whether or not we or you think that we can make it through or not, and want to"

“I do want to make this work Brian, I care about you a lot but you have to accept that partying is a part of my life and maybe that's where the strain is because there's the age gap between us. We both have different views on our relationship"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said anything about having a problem with you partying. I mean, as long as it doesn't consume you, I don't have a problem with it. But since when did we have different views of our relationship? Have yours changed? Is the age gap a problem for you?”

"Brian, I'm just saying how I see it. No, my views of us have not changed but you have to agree that it does put a bit of pressure on our relationship. I mean some guys your age have started families and to me that's way off in the future, so our expectations may vary"

What she was saying was probably right but it still hurt her say it. I felt like she was already breaking it off. I guess if that's what she wants to do then I guess its over but otherwise I guess I just see how things go and if we survive, we survive and if not... well...

"I guess maybe we just need to do our own thing and see what happens then... if we survive, then we do, if not.. then it was good while it lasted.... "

"I don't know what to do. I'm scared of committing to you in case ...in case you realize that I'm not what you want"

"I don't see that happening, but I don't plan on hurting you. And the way I see it, it could roll both ways. To be truthful, you might find someone else that's more your age and maybe more compatible. I mean, neither of us knows what will happen. We just have to concentrate on the now and what we do have and worry about everything else later, as it comes... "

"I bet you're really impressed. You've flown all this way from Florida to listen to me whine" I sigh and take a deep breath

"Listen... why don't we just forget about this for the time being and just enjoy each others company while we have it. Okay? " with a smile

I smile back at him and lean against him.

"So apart from missing me what else have you been up to?"

"Well.. I .. I've been busy songwriting, helping out with Healthy Hearts, hanging out with the guys and hittin' the hoops a bit... Nothing that fantastic.."

"Well at least you're keeping yourself busy"

"I try..." taking her hand in mine and running my fingers through hers..

The moment his hand touches mine a tingle runs through my body

"Want to order pizza and watch a movie? I wanna spend the evening snuggled up"

"There's nothing I'd rather do..." leaning down to kiss her softly

"We could order a mega feast one with peppers and olives on...how about it?"

The thought of olives on the pizza didn’t boad well. I hated olives. Wrinkling my nose at the thought

"Olives?"

I look at him quizzically. "Do you not like olives?" pretending to be surprised

Not wanting to hurt her feelings... "I don't care for them but if you want them, go ahead and get them"

"I can't stand them" I tell him, then grin "But your face was a picture"

"Ha, ha. I'm sure it was.." Going towards to tickle her. "And I am supposed to be the funny one"

"I think you've met your match"

Suddenly stopping, looking into her eyes. "Maybe I have" and then leaning in and brushing my lips against hers

I kiss him back, letting my lips linger on his for a moment before slowly pulling away "you have to let go of me if you want to eat"

"Dinner can wait..." pulling her back to me, kissing her again, this time a little deeper

I respond to him as he deepens the kiss. I knew I had to stay in control of myself but it was difficult when his kisses almost paralyzed me

"Brian, come on"

"What?" I whispered in her ear

"Lets not ruin this evening"

“Ruin it? how.. it can only get better..”

"I...I'm not ready to go any further. You have a choice, you can respect my decision or you know where the door is"

Her tone was so serious that it snapped me back into reality. I hadn't meant to push her. My hormones were getting the best of me.. God... I sound like Nick! That was a bit depressing....

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... "

I avoid meeting his eyes and mumble "thanks".

I grab the phone book and start looking for pizza places.

I feel so awkward right now. I didn't know what really to say or do. Instead, I decided to veer off the subject. I just had to remind myself to watch it.

"What movie did you want to watch?

"We could watch Oceans 13, it's the latest one" I stop and take a deep breath "Brian..." I begin, "I owe you an explanation"

"You don't have to explain anything to me. Honey, it's your prerogative. And I'm not out to compromise that."

"I appreciate that but I want you to know that if I had my own way then I would have let things go further the day I left"

"Okay... then why didn't you? Are you afraid because of the seemingly uncertainty of our relationship?"

“No" I whisper. "My brother got one of my friends pregnant when she was seventeen. He was only nineteen at the time and when my parents found out they were so angry. They were mad at me as well because I knew about the pregnancy and their relationship, even though I didn't agree with it. She had the baby and my parents are involved with their grandchild but my brother only sees them every other weekend. He made things worse by not going back to college, so of course my parents are determined that I finish my schooling and under no circumstances am I to get myself into the same situation"

"But you're not your brother, either. Do you parent's not trust you?"

"They trust me to an extent but they want to keep an eye on me"

"Yeah, I guess I can understand. If I had a kid at that age, my parents would have killed me. "

"So now you know..." I say quietly and order the pizza. Once I hang up the phone, I look back at him

"I'll understand if you don't wanna ...you know"

"Charlie, I am with you because of who you are. How you make me feel. If intimacy is not an option right now, then it's not an option. Our relationship is not based on that. I will support you on your decision. When the time comes, it comes. okay?" grabbing her hand and leading her to the couch and reclining her back against me.

As he pulls me back towards him, a wave of comfort washes over me. I lay against him as his arms encircle me and my head rest on his shoulder. I feel giddy and draw in the scent of his cologne.

"Mmm, I could stay in your arms forever…"

“Plan on it…” looking down at her with a smile.

"Oh? You seem pretty confident about that" I tease

I wasn't just confident, I was going to make sure of it. "Yep... now how could I let a girl like you go?, uh?"

"I think it's more a case of how could I escape"

"You don't" and I tickle her

Before he can begin a serious tickling session, the doorbell goes. As I untangle myself from Brian. I stick my tongue out and answer the door to the pizza delivery guy. Once he's gone, I pop the movie into the DVD player, grab the pizza and snuggle up to Brian for the evening.