I wake up with somewhat of a hangover; uncertain of what happened last night. I just know that I was out with friends and it involved a lot of drinking. It's so warm outside today, but I step into my sweatpants and a long sleeve tee and head downstairs. I smile at Natalie.

"Morning, or afternoon...I don't know which"

I grab some aspirin, a bottle of water and swallow the pain relief

"A little hungover, are we?" stifling a laugh

I rub my eye. "I don't think I did anything bad...but there was a lot of shots"

I’m sure. Look at what you're wearing. It's 85 degrees outside and you’ve got on sweatpants for goodness sakes. Why don’t I make you some coffee and you can go lie down on the couch and I'll bring it you. Maybe, you'll feel better."

"After what I've done, I don't think I'll ever feel better"

"What do you mean? I thought you said that nothing happened?"

"I think I made a mistake by sleeping with Brian. It's like, since that first time, it's become a must in our relationship"

"It's not like every night is it? Do you think that it's the only reason he's with you?"

"Nat, there's no intimacy. I get to his place, he gives me a hug and a kiss, then we go upstairs"

"Hmm.. how long as this been going on? I mean, to me, it's starting to sound like he is just using you for sex. If he is, then you need to end it. I like Brian, but that's not the type of relationship you're looking for."

I sigh. "Ever since the first time after I confessed to him that I thought we'd made a mistake, it's like he's trying to prove that it's right for us. But, I can't feel comfortable with it"

"Then, you need to tell him. If you don’t, then it's only going to get worse. You might have to show him how to be intimate, without it leading to other things. Men, sometimes don't know the difference.”

"I don't want to end things with him, but we've also been unprotected a couple of times. Nat, I'm scared of how fast things are going. I love him but I don't know how to talk to him"

"It's tough I know, but you have to do it. If it keeps continuing, it'll ruin your relationship and plus, if you're not careful, you're going to end up pregnant. Now, I know you don't want that right now. Charlie, you're just going to have to sit him down and talk to him. If you want, you can talk to him when Nick and I are around. Then, he won't have an excuse to take you to bed. Just tell him how you feel. I think that he would listen. Just reassure him that you love him, but tell him that you feel that things are going too fast and you're not comfortable with it. I'm sure he'd do anything to make you happy. "

"Yeah, I guess so" I start to say. "What are your plans today? Romeo sweeping you off your feet again?"

"No, he has been really busy for a while and I'm thinking about asking him if he wants to go out tonight"

"How are things between you? Going well I hope"

"Umm, alright, I guess. I haven't seen much of him lately, but otherwise we're doing well."

"Go make your plans with lover boy. I'll vacate the house if you wanna have a night together"

"No, it's cool. Let me give him a call and see" Tossing the phone back on the table, I went into the kitchen and started preparing a picnic lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I stand on the porch and knock on the door, I turn to Brian.

"Should we have turned up unannounced? We can always see the girls later"

"Nick!" playfully hitting him in the arm. "We're already here, and it'll surprise them anyway. Plus, we can go and hit the course later. And Natalie will be surprised to see you, I'm sure."

"Well, there doesn't seem to be anybody at home. Come on, lets hit the courts"

"Will, you just wait a minute. Geez, give them a few minutes. What's your hurry anyway? If you didn’t want to come over here, then why are we here?"

"I...uh...I just don't wanna come across as an overbearing boyfriend, ya know? Like never giving her any space.

"Trust me, I don't think you're being overbearing. You're too much of a partier to have time to be doing that. So, stop with the excuses."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I turned the water off, I heard a knock at the door. Quickly drying my hands, I went to open the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" In that case, I think we should swap girls"

"Of course" I say but part of me wasn't. I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I open the door and was surprised to see the guys standing there

"Oh my god, Nick! " throwing my arms around him and giving him a kiss. "I've missed you. I tried calling you earlier, but you didn't answer."

"Likewise. I think my battery died"

"We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by. If you're busy, we can leave"

"Busy? Are you kidding me? It's dead as a doornail over here. Plus, I thought you and I could go out and do something, like maybe go to the park."

"Ya know, that's a good idea, but I can't ditch Brian"

"OMG, Brian! " Turning to him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you like that." Giving him a hug. “How are you?”

" Good. And yourself?"

"I'm pretty good. Hey, why don't you guys come on into the living room" turning around to yell back at Charlie. "Charlie, the guys are here!"

I stop studying, curse under my breath and get up slowly. The room spins for a couple of seconds, before Natalie and the guys enter. "Hey". Nick raises his eyebrows at me.

"Ummm, nice outfit".

I shoot him a 'bite me' look

"Hey, baby" giving her a kiss. "You're dressed a little umm.. warm. Are you feeling sick?"

I give Natalie my 'see I told you' look. "No, I'm not sick" although that could be a handy excuse, I thought.

"Good night out, then?" Nick asked and I smiled slightly

"From what I remember, yeah"

"Do you feel like hanging out with us this afternoon?"

I...I...umm. I should really be studying, but you guys can hang out here, I'll go upstairs" and I started to gather my books

Seeing the look on her face and knowing that she was avoiding the inevitable conversation, I asked the first thing that popped into my head.

"Hey, do you two want to go maybe play some uh mini golf or something?"

"You and I can play. I think Brian should go upstairs to his girl and get..." I break off, as I see Charlie's face drop

"Nick" I whispered, slightly hitting his arm. "Nothing Charlie, Nick's just kidding. Come on, let's go"

"No. It must be something right? I mean, it's fairly obvious that Brian likes to shoot his mouth off"

"What? I.. I didn't say anything!"

“Charlie, just ignore him. He's just being an adolescent pervert." Shooting Nick a threatening look

"No, he's just being a typical guy. As long as you all look good in front of other guys and you're getting what YOU want, who cares how anyone else is feeling"

" What do you mean?. Is there something I need to know?”

“Nick, I think we need to go"

I look up at Natalie. "There's really no need for you to go, Natalie. I thought you had a lot to do" throwing her a pleading look

"Well, I do have to finish in the kitchen and dig out some things in the garage...”

"Shouldn't we give them their privacy?" I ask a little confused

" I know... " sighing, ”Come on and help me in the kitchen”

"Look" I say turning to Brian. "Maybe, we should do this another time"

"No, it's fine. Let's go out on the balcony and talk, ok?"

Running a hand through my hair and glancing at Natalie, as she shoots me a supportive smile. I walk out onto the balcony and lean against the rail. My palms are sweaty and I'm trying to stay calm

"Is there something bothering you?" I say quietly as a close the door

"You think?" I start and turn away from him. "I thought you were different, but I bet it made you feel really good bragging about getting action"

"First off, I don't brag about my sex life. That's private. Second of all, Nick's perverted. That's just how he thinks. I'm sorry if he offended you."

"It hit a nerve. Brian, I'm struggling with us"

"What about us?"

"Our physical relationship. I...it's too much"

"What do you mean exactly? Am I hurting you? or is it that I'm going too fast? Or is it something else?”

"Ever since the first time we took the next step, it's become a necessity"

"It's not a necessity, I just enjoy being intimate with you. Is there something wrong in that?"

"I told you after that night, that I wasn't sure about what happened. I had my doubts and those doubts are still there. We used to be able to be intimate with each other without having to have sex.

"Doubts about what? Commitment? Are you telling me that you don't know if you want to be together?"

"Maybe, it's the age difference" I say quietly

"Jesus Christ" he whispered as he turned. "How long have you felt this way?"

"Ever since that first night. Every time I stay with you, it happens, and every time I'm left feeling torn because I love you, but it feels wrong. I'm still not ready emotionally or mentally to deal with our relationship on that level"

"Then why didn't you stop me? Charlie, if it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right. I don't want to force you to do something that you're not comfortable with. I'm sorry, I put you in such a position. I'll slow down, if that's what you need me to do."

"I was afraid of losing you. Brian, I think..." I break off trembling

"Wait, I'm confused. You were afraid of losing me but now you're not sure you want to be together? Which is it?.. What.. what do you want?"

I try and hold my tears back, as I try and get the words out. "I think we should break up"

A little shocked by her admission, I just stood there and stared at her. I tried figuring out what was going on in her head. I felt like I was going out of mine. I saw a mix of emotions from love to sadness to fear to uncertainty. I didn't know what to make of it. I just sighed and leaned back against the door. I closed my eyes for a second.

"Is this what you really want? I can back off and try not to be so aggressive. I'll take it slow, I'll do whatever it is you want me to do, but I don't want to totally lose what we have together."

"I missed my period"

“You what?” disoriented by her suddenly change of subject

"I missed my period" I repeat

Fear started to creep up his spine. He wasn't counting on this. It didn't occur to him, I guess. They had used protection, but then again when he thought about it, there were a few times where they hadn't. No wonder why she's scared. Everything was a little bit clearer now.

"You don't think you're pregnant, do you?"

"I don't know"

She apparently hadn't taken a pregnancy test to see yet. What was going to happen if she was? How would I feel? How would she feel?

"Why don't you go home? I'll take a test and I'll let you know"

"Shouldn’t we do this together?"

"I guess so...I have one in my room"

"Let's just do it, just to be sure. And no matter what, just remember, I love you"

Giving her a kiss, I opened the door and lead her upstairs to her room. I knew she was nervous. I was too. But the sooner we got this over with, the sooner we would know and get on with our lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i

I take the kit from my dresser drawer. I can't bring myself to look at Brian and in silence, I go into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Within a few minutes, I'd know. I lean against the door, and squeeze my eyes shut. After a few minutes, I pick the test up and glance at the results. Tears stream down my face, as I shakily unlock the door and stand in the doorway of my room.

"And?" I say nervously, as my hands begin to shake and watching her expression

"It's negative" I whisper and I slide to the floor, still crying

As her answer sunk in, I felt somewhat better. I think it was for the best. I didn't think that either one of us was really ready for a baby. Squatting down and sitting beside her, I pulled her into my arms and held her.

"Sweetie, it's ok. There's nothing to worry about now. It's for the best anyway."

"What about us? Maybe, it's better for both of us if we split up"

"I wasn't talking about us. I just meant that maybe its better that you weren't pregnant. Because, I don't really think we're ready for that. Baby, I think we are going to be fine. If you need me to back off being physical, I'll do it. I'm sure there are other ways we can be intimate. I just don't want to lose you, ok?" lifting her face to look in my eyes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I head upstairs to the bathroom, I see Brian and Charlie sitting on the floor.

"So, this is where you guys snuck off to?" I grin. "Wanted some alone time to make up?"

"Shut up, Nick. You're the one that started it all in the first place."

"Brian, it's ok. He wasn't to know"

"Yeah well, sometimes he needs to keep his thoughts to himself." " You know, Nick, some time you're going to say something like to someone and its going to come back and bite you in the ass"

"Yeah probably, but all I wanna say right now is that you and Charlie have something so special. From what I can see, nothing could change that"

"I know" then glancing at her. "Thanks"