It had been a long day already. I was beat. We’d been up since 5am this morning and things hadn’t slowed down til now. I took a deep breath and let it back out. Then, I grabbed the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and lit one. “Aah.. much better” I thought as I blew out. I slowly sat down on the step, leaned back and streched out. I momentarily closed my eyes and savored the silence. The only noise, came from good old mother nature. It was too good to pass up, considering we don’t really get any time like this to ourselves much. I just laid there, enjoing every piece of it. I just hoped I wouldn’t pass out and burn myself. ‘ Yeah, wouldn’t that would be a nice freakin’ ending for the day..’
Too much shit had happened over the last couple of weeks. It seemed like one thing after another. No wonder why I need a smoke. Hell, I needed more than that tonight. I was getting to the end of my limit. I needed a drink, actually, more like a few. We didn’t have any booze in the house and I was too tired to go out and get any. Plus, it might cause some trouble, for some stupid reason or another.Yeah, that’s definitely what I needed, Kevin in my face and breathing down my throat..
I love Kevin and all but sometimes he can be a bit overbearing. I know he means well but … some of us don’t take too kindly to it, like yours truly. Kevin and I have almost gotten into a few heated fights over the years but Brie would somehow always be the one to keep the peace. Sometimes, I don’t know how she does it. Hell, I think I would go out of my mind dealing with all of us.
Things have been so different since she left. I’m actually surprised that we haven’t killed each other yet. Ha! I bet she would be proud of us. I just hope that this new person can do half the job that she did. The whole situation with her leaving seems a bit odd to me. Why in the hell would you fire someone that is one the backbones of this whole operation? It makes no sense! And I don’t see any reason that he would have had to let her go. There is something fishy about that. Maybe, we need to start paying more attention to what is going on within this group.
Since my cigarette was pretty much all the way gone, I crushed it with my shoe and went inside for something to drink. After I had poured it and was going to head back outside, I spotted the white envelope with my name scrawled on it. I looked at it for a few moments, before going over to pick up. Who knew what was inside that letter; hopefully it wasn’t too depressing.
I grabbed it off the counter and went back out of the door to sit back down on the steps. I twirled it around in my fingers for a few minutes. Finally, I guess the curiosity got to me and I ripped it open. The writing was so neat and girly. And, it was long. Shit.. I didn’t want to have to deal with emotions.. Before I backed out, I just started reading..
AJ ~
Hey, Jizzle… Waz up? I hope you’re not mad at me for copping out on you. It wasn’t my intention. I promise to make it up to you someday. I’m sorry this is how I have to say goodbye. I wouldn’t have had it this way, but fate seems to have the upper hand. The time I have spent with you guys has been wonderful; memories I will never forget.
I will definitely miss our shopping trips together. We’ve had some interesting ones, haven’t we? I should probably go and ransack your collection of hats for the flight home… You wouldn’t mind would you? J Hell, remember when you took me with you to get tattoos? It hurt like hell, but it turned out cute and I love it. I know you thought I was being a baby but… thanks for being there to hold my hand. You always seemed to be there when I needed someone. I really wish you could be here now… I could use some encouraging words…
J, I can’t help but feel like I’m losing my family. Y ou guys have become my family over the years and it’s hard to imagine what I’m going to do without you guys around. Now, I have to start all over and that’s very scary to me. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles, right?
On to more positive things… oh, remember that time I made an absolute fool out of myself at Tao? And I know you are laughing to yourself remembering that night too. That was one side of me that I never knew existed. Funny, what you learn about yourself when you’re drunk, uh? I guess, you guys aren’t the only ones that can put on show.. lol. Don’t be getting any naughty ideas, either… Anyways, thank you for watching out for me. Usually, it’s the other way around..
In addition to that, know that I have always wanted what was best for you guys. Whether it was business wise or not. I will always have your back, and I hope that whoever takes my place, will do the same. Don’t let all the glitz and glamour get you. Don’t let Hollywood make you into something you’re not. You are Alexander James McLean and no one else and don’t you forget it.
AJ, I don’t mean to come out sounding like your mother or something. I just really care about you and the rest of the guys. Just promise me that you will look out for each other. Oh, and try to make life a little easier on Kev, ok? I know he can be tough some times, but he does have your best interests at heart.
Most importantly, I can’t thank you enough for your friendship and all the opportunities you’ve given me. It’s been a blessing and I truly treasure it. I hate goodbyes and the longer I prolong it, the harder it is. So, I wish you the very best and maybe we will see each other again in the future.
With much love,
Brie
As I refolded the paper and put it back in the envelope, I couldn’t help but feel sad for her. She sounded so upset. I reached into my pocket for my phone, ready to call her.. I wanted to be there for her, but I couldn’t. I realized I didn’t even have her number. Kinda, ironic uh? We work together and see each other almost every day, but we don’t have each other’s phone numbers? At, least I didn’t have hers..Damn, I couldn’t even remember where she was from. Yea, don’t I feel smart…
This whole charade was a bunch of bullshit! It didn’t make any sense. Something has to be messed up. I know the girl didn’t do anything that would justify getting fired. I think either me or the boys and I need to start puttin’ our noses in where they don’t belong.. Last time I knew, this was our band… maybe we should start taking ownership of it. Then, shit like this wouldn’t happen. Damn, I need another cigarette now.
After intaking and exhaling the first few puffs, I thought back to what all she reminded me of. Hell, we did have some pretty good times. I know, I’m like a woman, when it comes to shopping. But, who cares! I like style. ‘Nuf said. Oh yeah, getting her tattoo.. good god.. I thought I had taken a kid with me, not a grown woman. But, she did end up braving it. I think she got that cutesy butterfly on her hip.
Ha! Speaking of fun times, that one night at Tao is at the top. That was definitely one fun night out on the town for sure. Just thinking about what happened that night got me laughing to myself. I couldn’t help it, it was that funny. Wow, you would have never have thought that about her, til you had seen her that night. She was wild. I mean she was singing karaoke and dancing on the tables and chairs. I guarantee every man in the place thought he was in heaven. Who would have known that she was such a tease? Man, I must have rubbed off her on a little, you think? Anyways, thank god, I was there. Who knows what could have happened. Although, I think we learned that she can’t hold as much liquor as she thinks she can.
“Oh, Brie… I wish I could be there to help you. I really do…” I say quietly to myself.
Feeling guilty was not what I wanted to feel right now. I was too tired. I put my cigarette out and walked back into the house. Everything was quiet and dark. I walked up the stairs and quietly entered my room. I didn’t really care about changing clothes.I pretty much stripped and flopped into bed . As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out…