*Justin calls Trace*

Love,
-- Mel

}><O> o <O><{ o }><O> o <O><{ o }><O> o <O><{ o }><O> o <O><{

Alll I have to say is; Chavez, Chasez, Cheetos, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang... What the hell difference does it make? It's not like your boys have any real longevity anyway! With their low impact and little-to-no talent video/stage choreography I think it's safe to say that boys are all but dead in the water. Whose even going to recognize them in 5 years? Can you say welfare cheque? I sure can boys and girls... 
- ???
(Read on to find out what the hell THIS is about!)

*ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş* 




a laa laala a laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa  lala aa l a laalaa laa la
ll    Top Ten Lists !!    ll
la la lala la ala   la lala la lala la lala la lala la lala la la  llalala la lala a l a
               la a                                                                 la a
               la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala 
                                                                                      la a
                                                                                      la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala
                                                                                      ll          why is #10,       ll
                                                                                      ll    funnier than #1?!? ll
                                                                                      la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala

Top Ten Things You Can Say To Chris
To Start Your Own Nsync Lawsuit

By: BexXx

Here we go again!  Because we here at PLB are such a HELPFUL lot...we decided to continue our quest to find things you could say to each Nsyncer to start a lawsuit!
This week, because NO ONE is safe...we decided to hit Chris wit a little "suttin suttin"...Look at the pic people, he can take it!
Take THIS FuMan!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.  "Your dogs look like they got in a fight with the business end of a baseball bat!"
9.  "What scares you more?  That a woman will use you for your fame...or the social security checks?"
8.  "What the HELL were you on when you came up with FUMANSKEETO???"
7.   "You looked better when you resembled a pineapple!"
6.  "What are you trying to tell us by only designing WOMEN'S clothing?"
5.  "Here, I bought you a joke book...Maybe now you'll actually be FUNNY!"
4.  "How did it feel to know that Justin was the one with 'the hair'?"
3. "Your Smurf village called...they put out a Missing Person's report on you!"
2.  "Don't be embarassed, it happens to all men!"
*
*
*
*
*
1.  "Busta likes Justin more ANYWAY!"

*ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş   ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş*
*   




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                                                                                                                                   l       bump dat ish !!    l
                                                                                                     l da BexXx is wild !!  l
                                                                                                                                   la la  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  l lla a  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  lla  l




"Check Baby, Check Baby 1-2-3-4...Check Baby, Check Baby, 1-2-3...All I wanna do a zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom!  JUST SHAKE YER RUMP!"
Forgive me y'all...I'm having a little flashback to my Junior High School Daze at the moment...Have you ever heard a song, and you could remember the EXACT place you were the first time you heard it?
Or do you do like I do, and hear a song on the radio and scream at the top of your lungs, "OH MY GOD!  THAT SONG IS SOOOOOOOOOOO __________!!!"  (Fill in with the name of someone you know...or in the case of the Nsync Members, DON'T know.)
That's what my article is going to be about this week.  I have some other stuff in the works, but I decided that I still need time to think about what I'm going to do with my idea...so you'll see that next week!
So, here is my list of songs that remind me of each of the guys of Nsync, and a small paragraph on WHY that song reminds me of them!  Enjoy!  And if you have any of your own that you'd like to add...feel free to Email me!  

Justin:

1.  Pretty Fly For A White Guy ~ The Offspring
This song has NEVER failed to remind me of Justin...It's the story of a white guy who wants to be someone he's not...Who does that remind YOU of?
2.   Blue (Da Ba Dee) ~ Eiffel 65
There's a story behind this one!  My little neighbor girl, Kat, used to be a
BIG Justin fan, *she has since moved on to Joey*, and one day when I
was over at her house talking to her mom, she told me that when she
grew up she was going to live in an ALL baby blue house with Justin.  I  
started singing this song to tease her...only she didn't take it as a tease!
She actually LIKED it!  I bought her the CD for Christmas, and she played
the song til the CD stopped working...so now whenever I hear this song I
think of Kat and Justin in their baby blue house!
3.  Jaded ~ Aerosmith
I have driven my friends crazy singing this song!  I would have to say that
it is honestly my favorite song right now...and no, it's not because it reminds me of Justin!  If you saw the Super Bowl Halftime, then you know part of the reason it reminds me of him...Because he sang "I'm the one that Jaded you!" solo...but besides that, as Olivia from EF and I agreed, It seems like Steven Tyler WROTE this song for Justin!  *sings* Myyyyyyyyyyyy Myyyyyyyyy Baaaaaaaaabay Bluuuuuuuuue!

Chris:

1.  Flagpole Sitta ~ Harvey Danger
Can't you just HEAR Chris singing this song?  I can!  Look at the lyrics...it's  
silly...strange...and doesn't make a whole shitload of sense!  Just like Chris!
2.  Little People ~ Les Miserables Soundtrack
"And little people know, When little people fight; We may look easy pickings, But we've got some bite!  So never kick a dog, Because he's just
a pup;  We'll fight like twenty armies, And we won't give up!  So you'd
better run for cover, When the pup grows up!"  
Heehee...Chris is my FAVORITE "Little People"!  A little piece of Non-Nsync related trivia for you, Rider Strong from Boy Meets Word *RIP* played the role of Gavroche, the character that sings this song when he was a little boy!
3.  When I'm Sixty-Four ~ Beatles
Because well...Chris doesn't have all that long til he IS 64...

Joey:

1.  Big Ol' Butt ~ LL Cool J
My god, doesn't this speak for itself?
2.  You're Having My Baby ~ Paul Anka *Thanks Zee!*
Yeah, I know...it's a cheap shot!  But when it comes right down to it...I'm happy for Joey!  
3.  Purple People Eater ~ Sheb Wooley
I chose this one for one reason, and one reason ONLY!  I asked my friend, Malia what song reminded HER of Joey...and this was her answer.  I have no idea why, or how it reminds her of him...but I think it's a damned good answer!  So there!

JC:

1.  Say My Name ~ Destiny's Child
I have Mel to thank for this one...If you haven't read the parody she did of this song about JC, check out our back issues on EF!  Trust me, it's hilarious!
2.  Mr. Ed Theme Song
This is a HUGE *Nside Joke with me and my girls!  It doesn't have to do with JC so much as it has to do with Bobbie...but same difference, eh?
3.  Who Needs Sleep? ~ Barenaked Ladies
If you guys haven't heard much by BNL, I suggest you do!  They're a damned good band!  And this song was practically WRITTEN about our boy JC!

Lance:

1.  Cowboy, Take Me Away ~ Dixie Chicks
Okay dammit, so there's nothing funny about this one!  It STILL reminds me of him...and I WILL sing it to him someday!
2.  Supermodel ~ Jill Sobule
Remember this one?  From "Clueless"?  I can SO see Lance in the bathroom getting ready for a night out on the town blasting this while singing, "I'm gonna be a Supermodel!!!!  And my hair will shine like the seeeeeeeeea!"  GO LANCE!!!!
3.  I'm A Little Bit Country ~ Donny & Marie Osmand
Okay, picture this if you will:  Lance...standing on an empty stage before one of their concerts, singing BOTH parts of this song about himself!  "I'm a little bit country...I'm a little bit rock and roll!!!!!"


  *ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş  ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş   ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş*  

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l    Pic of Da Week     l
la la la !!la laa la la la la !!la la la !!la la la !!la la la !!l a la la a la la ! la la l
               a la                                                                 a la
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                                                                                      a la
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                                                                                      ll    best of the best !!  ll
                                                                                      ll      jealous much ?      ll
                                                                                      a lajjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

*Justin calls Trace*



Mel:
Here, we discover Lance is actually a Pekingese.

???:
"Unbeknownst to his companions,Cy-Bios Corporation's newest model of fully interactive cyber machines (JRTwo-CD4U) comes equipped with detailed medical information and penchant for performing impromptu public labotomies by the use of it's retractable index-probe."

BexXx:
*Here, we see Justin sharing with his good friend,  Lance, what Brit smells like from the INSIDE!*
Ju: "Yo Lance, you think Brit's PERFUME smells good, yo?  Take a whif a DIS!"
Lance:  *Can't speak due to being overwhelmed by memories of cleaning Toby's stall...*

   *ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş  »¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş*



a laa laala a laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa  lala aa l a laalaa laa la
ll    Mel's Corner !!      ll
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               la a                                                                 la a
               la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala 
                                                                                      la a
                                                                                      la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala
                                                                                      ll       kick it one time       ll
                                                                                      ll       for the people !!   ll
                           la ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala

The Amazing World of Anagrams


The dictionary defines the word "anagram" as "a word or phrase made by transposing the letters of another word or phrase"

Let me demonstrate.

In the following phrases you can move around the letters of each sentence to create a brand new sentence, while keeping the same letters.  Don't believe me?  Write 'em down and count 'em and cross 'em out and see for yourself.

Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
The morse code = Here come dots
George Bush = He bugs Gore
Britney Spears = Breasts R Piney

You can take all the letters from the left hand side of the equals sign and plug each and every letter back into the other side and vice versa.  With me so far?  *Let us hope*

Well using this same principal we (Bex, Olivia, Rob, and I) decided to get some anagrams of NSYNC's full names.  Note, we did not make these ourselves.  We used a software program to generate them.  It generates several, so we picked out our faves just for you guys.  My comments are in green.  Bex's are in purple. Note how eerily accurate some of the anagrams are.



Justin Randall Timberlake

Our faves were:

Mean retard jubilant skill
I rattlebrained, small junk.
I am dull jerk brains talent.
I'm a jerk-brains.  Dull talent.
Jerk nudist, tall lamebrain. 
Blast It! jerk in a null dream.
Ultra-bald manliest jerkin.
Amen! jubilant skill trader.
I am bald, interstellar junk
Jerk blind ultra, male saint  (Male saint?  ROFL when monkeys fly out of my ass.... backwards..... singing the Oompa Loompa song!)
An alarmist, blunt, idle jerk.
Let's! I am an ultra-blind jerk.  (Referring to Britney, perhaps?  Just a thought, hehe)
A sillier, bland, mutant jerk.
I'm bald urinals jerk talent.
I'm a jerk and blunt literals.
Brilliant adult jerks.  Amen!  (This statement could not be anymore accurate of Justin's personality.  ROFL)


Joshua Scott Chasez

Our faves were:
Cash oozes just chat.
He catch just zoo ass.  (You mean, that horse he calls his girlfriend?  Hey, you're right, he does chase after zoo ass!  Neigh baby, neigh.)
She's just a zoo catch.  (AHA!  Directly correlated to the zoo ass comment.  See?  She is of another species.  I knew it!)
O Jesus! Zach acts hot (I dunno who Zach is, but it's funny that JC's name spells O Jesus!)
Ho! haze accosts just.
Ash oozes just catch.
Cash chats just ooze.
Just haze coca shots.
Zach aces just shoot.
Zach shot Jesus' coat!
Zoo caches just hats  (Lord knows ANY kind of hat on his head would help, seeing as how he's had these horrific hair mishaps where it resembles a lion's mane)
He's just zoo cash cat.
He's just zoo cash act. (Uh oh... chasing a horse.... lion's mane....pretty soon, he'll be zoo ass.  And people will pay money to see him jump through a flaming hoop!  Get out while you can JC!!!)
Just scoot haze cash. (Yes, embezzle your drug money, please.)

James Lance Bass

Our faves were:
Jabs sane camels
Became njal's ass  (Who the hell is Njal???)
Jam cleans be ass
Be calm jeans ass.
Bless a jeans cam.  (Amen sister.  God bless those jean cams!  Especially with that crotch-grab shot from the HBO Madison Square Garden concert.  *drool*)
Jeans blames sac.
Jeans beam class  (Ain't that the truth.  He is so well dressed.  *le sigh*)
Bass Camel jeans.  (So, you manage artists, start up a production company, now you're gonna tread in Chris's territory and start your own jean line.  HAIL NAH!)
Aces bless 'n' a jam. (Well, gambling does suck...  But those aces do come in handy while playing poker.)
Jam senses cabal.
Jeans cable mass.
Jabs menace lass. (It's about time you stab a menacing teenybopper!)
Bass jeans camel.
Male jeans scabs.
Ace bass jam lens.

Joseph Anthony Fatone

Our faves were:
Oh No! enjoy the fat span  (ROFL no comment)
Enjoy phone than fatso. 
Posh enjoy hot neat fan.
Snap! Oh No! enjoy the fat. (Need new pants, eh?)
Enjoy hasten fan photo. (K, this so applies to me.  "Sure but it's gotta be really quick okay, sweetie?"  I'm sure he DID enjoy my hastened fan photo!)
Hey! jeans poof than not
The posh joy of antenna. (I suppose he likes watching TV on the tour bus?)
Hate Johnny's neat poof. (Joey, don't diss Johnny's hair.  Your blonde hair was ugly too)
Enjoy not phase hot fan.
Not phase joy on the fan.
Enjoy fat hope on hasn't.
Oh No! the fans enjoy tap  (You shouldn't be giving beer to underagers anyway)
Ho Ho! patent fan enjoys.  (Pshht, and I'm sure Joey enjoys the patent fan *cough*)
Johannes of potent hay.

Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick

Our faves were:

Track short pirhana-like prick.
Kick chalk irritate sharp porn.
OK rather prick this anal prick.  (Wait, if you prick an elf with a needle, doesn't a fairy cast an evil spell on you or something...?)
Kick top-rank retail, sharp rich.
Crap! prick kinkier, loath trash.
OK! Crap! Help! kick irritant rash.  (LOL!!!  Perhaps Chris got into a little poison ivy?)
Crap! top-rank hairs kick Hitler.  (HAH!  That old hairdo could have kicked ANYONE)
Shit! kick prenatal or rich park.  (Who would have thought you could spell both CRAP and SHIT outta Chris's name!?!?!?)
Kick trashier, top-rank, rich pal.
Prick kinkier, sharp, total arch.
Help! kick croak sharp irritant.
A top-rank prick like rich trash.
OK! rich piranhas kick prattler.
OK kick rather trash principal.
Shriek thick crap top-rank liar.  (Hmmm...I could think of better ways to say "Your voice annoys the shit out of me.", couldn't you?)


PS.  The winner of the celebrity spelling bee last week was Lance by a landslide.  JC was second.  The most creative response I received was "My cousin Earl from Vermont"

*ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş  »¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş*

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                                                                                      ll    2 boldly go where  ll
                                                                                      ll      no zine's gone b4 l
                                                                                      a lajjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj   jjjjj



The article below is comprised of a compilation of my very own thoughts. (Yes, there are those of us out here who still think for themselves.) I hereby indemnify all authors of PLB and any other contributers of material from colateral damage which may be sustained by the readers of the following material. Remember, it's all in good fun, so try not to take it too personally.

Gremlin In Your Midst

   When I was invited to throw a chest full of my own proverbial wrenches into the gears here at PLB by BexXx herself, I thought long and hard about exactly what I might have to contribute to the seething, wriggling masses of mind-numbed screaming teenie fans of a certain Pop group who I shall not name here for the sake of hooking you into reading my whole article.  At first I was content in the knowledge that my ultimate happiness was to live my life completely unaffected by the latest pop craze of boy and girl bands. However, as it became apparent that I could use my most beloved gift of stirring up shit with a single pen-stroke, I considered the possibilities... and I smiled as I've not smiled in years.
     So I invite you to check your coat at the door, find a comfortable seat, and embrace the love of ridicule and nastiness I will be preparing for you over the course of the next few weeks.

Who am I?  Write me

*ş»¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________[]»¦«ş   ş»¦«[]________»¦«ş  »¦«ş[]________[]ş»¦«ş*

YA WANT MORE HUMOR?  HUH?  DO YA?
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