B= Big Boy the DJ
and...
J=Justin (Like Duh!)
J: A big green hat. He knows his colors! How cute is that???
B: Yeah man, we’re gonna go ahead and make it happen now. Justin Timberlake.
J: I can’t even lie, I’m really nervous right now. HAHA! Wouldn't you just LOVE to see him squirming in his chair?
B: Hey man, you know, I’m not gonna lie, player. I’m nervous for you. Yeah, and uh, this is what we need. Fuzzy(?), you’re gonna keep score. Any question we ask you, you gotta tell the truth. We’re trying to get through these questions as fast as we can. There’s gonna be some questions you’re gotta go ahead and reiterate on them.
J: So you’ll let me know if my answer’s not good enough for you.
B: Yeah. So will I...
J: And you’re gonna be the judge of this.
B: You know what man, hopefully you’ll tell the truth and we’ll just get right through them.
J: Hopefully. "I hopefully hope..." Where's Joey when you need him?
B: Yeah. And if at any point, Justin Timberlake, if one question becomes too much for you…
J: I just tap out. Like a big fat wussy boy...
B: You just tap out. Alrighty? Alright we’re gonna go into the first one, ladies and gentlemen. Alrighty now. The first question is… Justin Timberlake… if you HAD TO swap one member out of *NSYNC and add one member of Backstreet Boys to your group, who would you choose? Who would you swap out of your group?
J: Umm… alright. If I had to swap one member of *NSYNC and add a Backstreet Boy… *laughter* Umm… I would swap Lance… because he’s obviously a cosmonaut. And… I’d take AJ, because I like him with his problems. *laughter* I’d take AJ PRE-problems. Justin...*shakes head* You're a jackass...
B: Alright, number 2, here we go. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease, Justin Timberlake?
J: No I have not. `Cept for the crabs you got last Spring...but you just conveniently forgot about that!
B: Go ahead with your bad self. As you should.
J: And I think everybody should practice safe sex. Especially if you're having sex with Britney Spears...
B: That’s what I’m talking about, and I just need to practice, period. *laughter* What’s the nickname, Justin Timberlake, for your private part?
J: [answers immediately] Big Jim and the Twins. *Spits Coke out her nose*
B: That’swhatI’mtalkinbout. *laughter*
Background: Big Jim and the Twins!
J: I don’t know, I just got that off the top of my head. No pun intended. Sick Bastard...
B: Hey, man but you know what, there’s gonna be cats that are really gonna be like… hmm man, ooh, big jim and the twins, Like Me! *Gets it printed on a T-Shirt* just remember you said it… Alright, Justin Timberlake – have you ever done a song you did not want to do?
J:
Yes. About three of four on the first *NSYNC record. I
Need Love...You Need Love...We All Really Need Love!!!
B: Really though? Uh
huh!
J: Yes, really though.
B: Alright now… *Coughs*
Yes...let's get serious now...
J: [Weird voice] Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet. I
got your bullet right here, baby...
B: Yeah man. Bite the bullet. But y’all did the damn thing
right now, so you ain’t bitin’ no bullets no more…
What’s your most intimate fantasy?
J: My most intimate fantasy? No
stupid, your most intimate fantasy!
B: Yes sir.
J: Um… Is it a fantasy if you’ve already done it? So
Britney, Janet, Alyssa, and every other woman EXCEPT ME on
earth was your most intimate fantasy?
B: *whistles* Oooh wow. We wanna hear that one.
J: Did I… *laughs* get myself in more trouble? No...
B: Yeah, yeah you did. Fine...contradict
me...see if I care...
Background: You opened the door a little bit.
*laughter* You’re still honest.
J: Honestly. I like baths… I like baths. Something really
sexy about a bath… bathwater. There's
also something sexy about a little extra bubbles in the
bath, eh Justin?
B: I like a hot bath with some of that Vaseline, like that
therapy stuff. Somehow,
I didn't need to know that...
J: That water glistening *everybody joins in* all over your
boooody. Yeah. *laughter* I
guess it was an inside joke...
B: Ok Justin Timberlake, when was the last time you cheated
on your girl?
J: I never cheat. Never. I don’t believe in it.
He
went out with Britney while he was with me...I call that
cheating.
B: Remember to be honest. Yeah,
Pinnochio...Liv says it's no wonder you have a HUGE schnoze...bastard...
J: I don’t believe in it.
B: That’s what I’m talkin… we’re gonna move on, man.
How many video extras have you had sex with? The
entire extras cast of the Pop video...a threesome with
Britney and Kim Smith from the Bye Bye Bye video, and twice
with each of the Barbies in the It's Gonna Be Me video.
J: None. But I… there was one on the Girlfriend video set
that I was… I was… Oh
yeah, I forgot her...
Background: What about that one chick in Gone? She was a
cutie. *Checks
another one off on the list*
J: She was hot. She was. I remember that. She didn’t speak
a lot of English, but what she said sounded real good.
Only
because all she could say was, "Oh Justeen, you are so
preety."
B: Justin Timberlake. What’s the one that you can say
about yourself that no one would believe.
J: That I’m not cocky. Bastard...
B: I heard that. I
heard it too, and he's full of shit...
J: Because I think… I’m very confident, I like who I am,
I feel comfortable in my skin, so I think sometimes when
people meet me I’m not very vocal. You know, I like to
listen to people and so... you know… I think sometimes it
comes across as arrogance, and… I hate that. He
said, "I hate that." Is he related somehow
to Steve? No wait...that's Joey...
B: Justin Timberlake, what’s the most embarrassing thing
your parents ever did to you in public? This
one time...at band camp...
J: The most embarrassing thing, recently, on Diriven on VH1,
my mother gave VH1 this tape of me and my friends
lipsynching to New Kids On The Block when I was like, 10.
That's
not embarassing! That's...well...it's just not
embarassing!
Background: That was so cuuute though. Ohh, it was SO cute.
*Puke*
Don't encourage him...
J: Dudes that are 21 don’t want to be cute, baby.
*laughter* Baby?
*blink*
Background: But you know what, it’s a like turn-on for
girls. So there you have it. It’s a win-win situation.
J: Oh hey, well then…
B: I’m gonna do it then. I know what I’m gonna do. If
you HAD TO, would you eat your own vomit or drink your own
urine? Um...gross
much?
J: No. Good
answer.
Background: If you had to do one…
J: Oh, if I had to – uh I have to PICK? I have to pick?
Well I heard urine clears up a messed up throat, so… I
guess I would… *laughter* Nasty...you
just NASTAY!
B: Okay, this is… have you ever knocked boots with anyone
famous? Dude,
he IS someone famous...
J: *quietly* Yes. Hey,
don't act so shy about it...we all know!
B: And who?
J: *yells* It doesn’t say, “and who?” HELLO!??!?
IT'S NOT LIKE WE DON'T KNOW!
Background: And who player? C’mon player. He said there
could be two parts to questions. C’mon, Shaggy answered
that one. Yeah
dumbass, Shaggy answered that one...
J: Shaggy answered that? What did Shaggy say? Probably
something like "Yah mon."
Background: Man, a lot of people did…
B: Man, oh, you don’t want to know. We’ll tell you his
off-air, because he was like... *laughter* Go ahead Justin,
shame them to death.
Background: Ooooooooh! C’mon man, everybody already
knows… might as well say a name player.
J: I cain’t. PUSSY!
Background: I’m sure you got a couple names to spit out!
J: Okay, lemme… alright. *Waiting*
Background: Don’t tap out on that one. Is this the one
he’s gonna tap out on?
J: Umm… Umm… Umm… He's
meditating now????
Background: You got a list, huh? *laughter*
J: I can’t put anybody on blast like that.
Background: C’mon man. C’mon. We’re all grown.
J: Knock boots. Knock boots. That's
slang for "Have sex with", Justin...
B: With anyone famous.
J: With anyone famous. CAW!
Justy wanna cracker?
B: You know what man, I can really move on to the next one,
because we already got an idea of who… You know what I’m
sayin? You're
LETTING him wimp out! Damn you!
J: So there you go. I’m not gonna say I didn’t knock
boots with anybody that I’ve been linked to. You
are less of a man in my eyes, Timberlake...
B: That’s what I’m talking about.
J: I will say that. *mockingly*
I will say that...*RE*
B: You’re a G and a half, man. Aww man, if you had to put
a banana, a finger, or a gerbil in your butt, which one
would you choose? *laughter* That’s only if you had to.
*ROFLMFAO*
J: Can it be a pinky finger? Nope...index
finger ALL THE WAY!
Background: Yeah.
Justin: I’ll go with that. Dude,
you're just wussing out all over the damned place...
B: Justin Timberlake, what is your favorite form of
pornography?
J: … Two women. Two women, just because it’s comedy.
*Meanwhile...under
the table...BOOOOOOING!*
B: You ever order, in like a hotel? He
doesn't have to...that's what he has all those girlfriends
for...Christina and Britney one night...Jenna and Alyssa the
next...
J: No I don’t order… Dude, people at hotels talk too
much! See?
B: Yeah yeah, they’ll pull up a record and everything,
man, believe that. What’s the cruelest thing you ever did
to a pet?
J: I -*laughs* Sicko...wait...maybe
that's just MY mind...
B: Uh-oh.
J: My mom had this...aww, man… if she’s listening right
now she’s gonna kill me – she don’t know about this.
She had this terrier that... every time she would leave the
house and leave me with the dog he would turn into this
TERROR. And start nippin’ at my ankles and finally one day
I got sick of him so I just tossed him down the stairs. Down
a whole flight of stairs. POOR
PUPPY! You sick sick man!
B: Did your dog make it?
J: Well, he limped for a couple of weeks, but you know, he
respected me after that. *laughter* Is
that what you did to Britney too?
B: Did your mom know you did it? She be like, yeah he limpin’
around, like I don’t know what the hell happened…
J: He got into a fight with this big dog down the street…
Background: He must have stepped on something.
B: Justin Timberlake, have you ever had any SBP? Have you
ever had any SBP, Mr. Justin Timberlake?
J: SBP? Forgive me for my ignorance... You're
not forgiven...
B: Aww man. It’s uh, sweet black P***y. *laughter* Have
you ever had any sweet black P***y? Justin Timberlake, have
you ever had any SBP? Have you ever partaken any sweet black
P***y? Some sweet black P***y. *Plugs
ears* LALALALALALAAAAAAA!
J: And the rumors are true. SHUT
UP, JUSTIN!
Background: OOOOOH!
J: And I haven’t gone back. *sighs
heavily* This is wrong in so many dimensions...
B: Ohhh, man.
J: Well they say once you go…
B: Oh dirty, you are a G and a half. Maaan. Justin
Timberlake, are you circumcised or not? *laughter*
J: Definitely. I
have nothing to say about this...I don't care one way or the
other...lmao
B: Alright, alright. Give him the points, homie. He over
there having a such good time.
Background: *laughter* I know!
B: If you had to vote one of your members out of *NSYNC
survivor-style, who would you boot off the group?
J: Uh, Chris. Jerk!
Background: *laughter* Really?
J: He’s crazy. Yeah, he’s certifiable. Double
Jerk
B: Really though?
J: No. I’m just kiddin’.
B: Would you rather loose your voice or your tallywhack?
He
means PENIS...
J: *laughs* Um… I’d rather loose my voice. Figures...
B: Justin Timberlake, when was the last time you were in a
threesome? Just
before this interview...right Justy?
J: I’ve never been in a threesome. Lying
sack of...
B: Really?
J: I’ve never been in a threesome. LIAR
LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!
B: Man I’m pretty sure… oh man, I can see it in your
eyes, boy this is the first time… I can really say that
this is the first time I felt like you lied to us. I
AGREE!
J: Are you serious? Of
course we are...
B: Yeah.
J: Honestly man. I like one on one… I like intimacy.
Maybe… that may not sit well with some people. I like
intimacy. That
is SUCH a "Johnny Wright production" answer,
Justin...
Background: It’s alright. Hey. *laughter*
B: Justin Timberlake, do you want me to hand you this
question or do you just want me to read it to you?
We
wanna hear it!!!!!
J: Let me see it, man. WEEINE!
Background: Oh don’t be – aww c’mon!
J: What am I up to? We
have NO idea, as usual...
Background: You’re almost at 20, dog. You’re almost at
20.
J: Is that the platinum?
Background: You’re almost there dog, almost there.
J: Let me see it. Let me see it.
B: Are you sure?
J: Let me see it. Who did these questions? I’m gonna kick
their ass. Ooooh...Dirty
said ASS!
B: I think it was us. Hey man do you wanna…
J: Just read it.
Background: Read it! Read it!
B: Ladies and gentlemen, the question is… we don’t need
a drumroll, because he gonna pass this one up, man. This not
gonna be the one he stop on, alright is it? But I’m gonna
go ahead and use the drumroll anyway. *drumroll*
J: You’re so dramatic, Big Boy.
B: Thank you so much. Justin Timberlake, who was better in
bed – Britney Spears, or Janet Jackson? *Falls
over laughing, but hopes he says Janet...for his sake...*
J: *Justin taps out*
*loud laughter*
B: Justin Timberlake, ladies and gentlemen! The Hat of
Forbidden Questions y’all!
