As Moonlight Shines
Through The Window

As Moonlight Shines Through The Window
©1999-2000
By Sarah
Short Story


    He could only watch her sleep.
    Her back slowly rose and fell with each breath, her dark hair spread around her like a halo, she was deep into sleep.  There wasn't anything he could do for her, now.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    He started to ponder.  Ponder why she loved him, why she was with him, why she didn't leave.  There were plenty of reasons to, he told himself, reasons like that he was never around.  When she needed him most, he couldn't be there.  He hated that he couldn't be there for her, it was something that tore him apart everyday, but there wasn't anything he could do about it.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    She asked him the other day how it felt to be home.  He could only reply that he was ecstatic before pulling her to him and kissing her with the passion he'd been building up inside for so long.  He tried hard through it all, doing many things at the same time to keep his mind off of her and everything he left behind when he left her.  It was often very hard to keep his mind off of her, and he sometimes just broke down, demanding that everyone let him alone while he looked at her picture, listened to her voice, dreamed about her.  He felt as if she were his life, the line that kept him moored to the dock, the air he breathed, the food he ate, the water he drank.  She was his everything, he wanted to give her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.  How could he, though, when he could barely be there when she just needed him?
    He could only watch her sleep.
    She mumbled something in her sleep and slowly turned, switching so that she was lying on her right side of her face instead of the left.  He smiled at her face, an angelic face that brightened his day.  He wished for her to be able to sleep, but sleep with her eyes open, so he could look into the wonderful pools of green that held him captive the first time he saw her.  She was just standing there, in the store, and he ran right into her.  He looked into her eyes and nearly fell down, he'd never seen such a sight in his life.  Her hazel eyes were so deep, the windows to her soul, and she was so open with him.  He'd ask and she'd tell, she never lied.  He loved that about her.  He loved everything about her.  He loved her.  He told her before, and she replied much the same.  He wanted to show her that he loved her.  Oh, how he loved her more than anything.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    He leaned against the windowsill and smiled as the moonlight shone on her face and hair, making it shine.  Her hair was very long, more than halfway down her back, and it felt like silk to his touch.  He often spent hours just running his hands through her hair, marveling about how soft it was and how long it was.  The color was natural, too, and he loved the chocolate brown color.  When the sun was shining on it, blonde highlights showed through.  With the moonlight came the same highlights, only darker, and when the moon was shining that one night he'd never seen her look so beautiful.  Her long, black, conservative dress hardly did her justice while she walked around the kitchen, preparing dinner for the two of them.  He couldn't help but sneak up behind her and help the dress seem a little more form fitting.  She fit perfectly with his body, and he seemed to like the dress even better when it was lying on the floor next to their bed while she was lying in his arms, asleep.  Much like she was at that moment.  But there was nothing he could do, now, to make her see.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    She turned again in her sleep, this time lying on her left side with her back to him, her legs curling up to her stomach in a fetal position.  He knew she was dreaming, whenever she was dreaming she'd curl into that position and mumble, just as she was right at that moment.  He smiled at the words, his name being said over and over again.  I love you too, baby, he thought, and I promise to you that I can make you see, somehow.  I don't know how just yet.  Well, on second thought, I do.  He smiled and walked silently to his dresser, picking up the thing he'd gotten for her, the one present he waited to give her.  Waited for a long time.  He couldn't give it to her now, though.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    She mumbled again, this time expressing her love for him.  He sighed, walking back over to the bedside and squatting down by her head.  He looked at her peaceful face, screwed up in concentration, yet relaxed as she dreamt of the pleasure they both experienced when together.  He wanted to make her feel that pleasure again, yet didn't want to wake her.  He wanted her to sleep, seeming as she had said that she never slept well without him near.  She shifted slightly, the satin sheets falling from her shoulder, uncovering most of her back just above her behind.  He grinned as the moon made her skin seem to shine, the smooth skin he loved to run his hands over as she pleased him like no other could.  The smooth skin he loved to touch while he pleased her any way she wanted.  The smooth skin that sometimes seemed to be his when they were close together, pleasing each other in a way that seemed sacred.  Their love bound them together with an invisible thread, tying and connecting them through space and distance unknown to others.  While she never left her home, he was the one always leaving, the one always breaking her heart.  Yet, she loved him, never left him, always stayed and assured him she'd never leave.  He wanted to make that promise to her.  The one promise that would be so powerful that breaking it would be a fate worse than death, simply because without her, he felt that he would die.  At the moment, though, there was
nothing he could do.
    He could only watch her sleep.
    "Sugar, what are you doing up?  And why do you have that silly grin on your face?"
    He chuckled as she rubbed her eyes and looked up at him, her voice thick with sleep.  She yawned softly and he laid back down next to her, pulling her close to his side as she draped her arm over his stomach and rested her head on his shoulder.
    "I was watching you sleep.  You look so beautiful when you sleep, so at peace," he replied in a whisper, clutching her present in his left hand while his right hand went over her shoulder and rested at her waist.
    "You need more sleep than I do, you must be exhausted, you only got back yesterday."
    "I had some thinking to do, some things that I couldn't think about when I was away, only things I could think about when I'm home with you."
    "Like what?"
    He knew that then was the time.  Now, he told himself.  Suck it up and do it, he demanded.  He lifted his left hand and showed her the present he'd gotten her.  "Like when the right time to give this to you would be."
    She was silent, frozen as she stared at the box.  He reached over with his right hand and pried it open, showing her the diamond as the moonlight from the bay window made it sparkle.
    "I thought so long about this, but I never knew when the right time would be.  I wanted this for so long, and I understand if you don't, I just want you to think about it, I want you to think about your answer.  I don't want you to answer the way you think I'd want you to, rather the way you want to.  Baby, I love you with all my heart, and being away from you even for a day makes me want to break down.  What I'm asking you is will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"  He pulled the ring out of the box and held it between
his two fingers as he dropped the box on the floor, hearing a soft plop as it hit the thick carpet.  She lifted her right hand to his and fingered the ring.
   "Yes," she said, almost too quietly for him to her.  "Yes, I'll be your wife," she said, looking up at him.
    He smiled and sat up, waiting until she pulled her left hand out from beneath her.  He slipped the ring on her left ring finger and pulled her slightly icy hands into his, kissing her knuckles.
    "I love you, baby," he whispered, looking into her eyes.
    "I love you too, AJ," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.  He leaned forward and kissed her passionately before lying back down, pulling her with him.  He fell back asleep with her in his arms, but this time, he knew she was his.  This time, he didn't have to watch her sleep.  It was different this time.
    They slept together, neither watching the other.  The reassurance that they would always be there for each other eased the fears of never seeing each other again.
    As the moonlight shone through the window.

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