Dont Wanna Lose You Now
Don't Wanna Lose You Now
"I never thought I would lose my mind, that I could control thisÖ"
I have to keep her coherent, I thought. She always loved it when
I sang to her, she always said she loved my voice.
"I would bring down the moon and the sun, to show how much I careÖ"
She always said that those lines were her favorite. I have to keep
her coherent until we get there. Tears were streaming down my face,
but I didnít bother trying to wipe them away. I squeezed her hand
to let her know I was still there.
"Donít wanna lose you now, baby, I know we can win this. Donít wanna
lose you now, oh no, or ever againÖ"
I sang to her softly, she was the only one that deserved to hear.
Whenever I sang, I sang for her. I never told her that, but it was
true. I knew I shouldíve told her earlier, when I realized it.
I took a deep breath and looked in her half-open eyes.
"Iíve got this feeling youíre not gonna stay, its burning within me.
The fear of loosing, of slipping away, it just keeps getting closer, baby.
Whatever reason to leave that Iíve had, my place, was always beside youÖ"
I love her so much, I really do. God, do I love herÖsheís the one
for me. The perfect one. I squeezed her hand again and brought
it to my lips, kissing it, much like I did on our first dateÖshe said she
loved it when I did romantic things for her, even if I had to go out of
my way to do them.
"Donít want to lose to loneliness, girl I know we can win. Donít
want to lose to emptiness, oh no, never again."
I couldnít lose her now, we were suppose to spend our lives together.
"Oh, baby, I love you. You canít let go, you hear? You canít
stop fighting. You have so much to live for, and everyone is waiting
for you. We need you here, honey, we all love you. And I need
you, more than words can describe. You are my world, I canít live
without you. Remember a few days ago? When we went to the diner
where we first met?" I kept talking, rambling, letting the tears
flow as we sped through the night.
"Remember what we said? Weíre going to spend forever together, every
waking moment. I didnít want to tell you yet, but I got a ring made,
just for you. I told my mom I wanted to propose to you and she thought
it was a great idea. She was so happy for me, for us, of the future
weíre going to have together," I said urgently as we stopped. I walked
next to her, not letting go of her hand.
"Youíre going to be fine, baby, I promise. And once youíre ready,
weíll go back to the diner, ok? You can get your medium-well cheeseburger
and fries, and Iíll eat up the restaurant like you always accuse me of
doing. I promise, baby, nothing can separate us. You know why?
Because it was fate, destiny, you were right when you said that a sign
pointed me to the diner that night. It did, and it wasnít just the
twenty-four hour sign, it was you and our angels above. And you know
what song I was listening to in the car? It was ĎNo One Else Comes
Closeí, and it was right. No one can begin to compare to you."
By this time, I was in hysterics, bawling, I was a total mess and people
were staring at me, but I didnít care. I couldnít care, not when
my baby was suffering.
"Iím sorry, sir, but youíll have to stay out here," someone said, pulling
me away from her and pushing me towards some chairs.
"I'm waiting for you, baby, I love you, donít give up!" I called
as the doors closed behind her.
"Thatís the guy who came in with the girl."
"Wow, what happened?"
"Car accident, she was driving and swerved to miss the other car.
The other driver died on the spot, he was as drunk as you can get.
She absorbed most of the impact, her boyfriend only really got a few bumps
"Wait a second, he looks a little familiarÖ"
"Yeah, his nameís Nick, Nick Carter. His girlfriendís name is Stacy
something or another. Heís from that quintet my niece always comes
in here raving about."
"Really, I wonder how heíll react after he finds out what happened to his
girlfriend," the doctor said, pulling off her gloves and scrubs.
Her assistant did the same and both walked over to the blonde, who was
sitting in a chair, crying into his hands.
"Where is she? Whereís my baby?" I demanded, looking up at
the doctors as the came over to me.
"Iím Dr. Jonas, Mr. Carter, I was just with your girlfriend. Have
you called your girlfriendís family yet?"
"She doesnít have any family! Sheís my world, where is she?"
The woman looked at her assistant, who nodded and walked away. Dr.
Jonas sat down next to me. "Mr. Carter, what Iím about to tell you,
you may not want to hearÖ"
I felt my tears start to fall again and my heart start to break.
"Come on, Nick, letís go!"
"Iím coming, Brian!" I called. I grabbed my wallet as I ran
out to the stairs and shoved it in my pocket as I ran down. I hopped
in Brianís running car and he sped away. I jumped out of the car
and ran down the impeccably white hallways, pulling on gloves and a blue
colored cloth someone had given to me. I ran into the room as a scream
ripped through the air.
"Its ok, baby, Iím here," I said, running to the sweaty figure on the bed.
"You better be!" My wife exclaimed, grabbing my hand. She screamed,
squeezing my hand hard, as the doctor let out a sigh of relief.
"Congratulations, you two, itís a boy."
"Donít forget that Iím having twins!" My wife said, turning the last
word into a scream.
"Itís a girl."
My wife and I looked at each other, and I could see the scar on her forehead,
the tiny scar at the base of her hairline from the accident a few years
"And they said it wouldnít happen, that I couldnít have a child," she gasped
I smiled and kissed her. "We proved them wrong, you proved them wrong."
"For what? You think I was going to give up on you? Youíre
my world, Stacy, I would never do something like that."
And itís true, I wouldnít. Stacy was my world, along with our beautiful
twins. I could never give up on them. I didnít want to lose
her that night, and I didnít.