Secrets Kept, Lies Told
Secrets Kept, Lies Told
AJ sat back in his
chair and watched as Brian walked in the hospital room as his mother walked
out. He was happy that Alexa was awake, simply ecstatic. But
it bugged him that she woke up when Nick was in there. 'Stop the
jealousy, AJ, she's awake, you even had her listening to you last night
and communicating. You had her doing that before anyone else, stop
it right now,' he scolded himself. He wiped his eyes and stood up,
walking to the hospital room as Brian arrived at the door.
"She's tired, AJ, but
she'll be ok. Just don't get her too riled up, all right?"
AJ nodded and walked
past his friend and into the room. He looked at his sister, her small
body practically hidden beneath all the sheets and wires.
"Hey, Aly," he said,
trying to keep back his tears.
"Hey, Alex," she said
That was all it took
for AJ to break down. He walked quickly over to her and let the tears
fall, he didn't care anymore. "God, Alexa, for a moment there, I
never thought that we would hear you talk again," he said, holding her
"AJ, how dare you?
You know I wouldn't give up without a fight, we're too much alike, and
we have the same attitude towards life, the same donkey kind of stubbornness.
Never think something like that, I'm not a quitter," she said, her voice
scratchy and low.
"Yes, ma'am," AJ replied,
Alexa laughed and AJ
practically sighed. 'Its so good to hear her laugh. Come to
think of it, she hasn't laughed for a week,' he said to himself.
"So, what's on the
agenda, Miss Alexa, are you going to sit here for a few more days or are
you going to be out on the courts kicking Nick's ass?" AJ asked, smiling.
"I'm definitely going
to be playing soon, but not for a while. From what I've been hearing,
I can't even get out of bed for the next week," Alexa said, playing with
the edge of the sheets.
"What happened, Aly?
What went wrong?" He asked. His curiosity was peaked, he had
"AJ, to tell you the
truth, I haven't a clue. I don't know what is wrong, what happened,
why it happened, or what to tell anyone as an explanation. I wish
I did, I want to be able to explain it to myself, but I can't. I
just know that I need some help, AJ, something is wrong and I sure as hell
don't know what it is, and apparently, no one else does either. I
wish I could tell you, but I don't know," Alexa said, her voice cracking.
AJ shook his head and
held her hand, telling her to stop talking. "We'll find out, I'll
stay by your side until we find out what's wrong, and after that, I'll
stay here until we can find a cure," he promised.
"No, you can't, what
about your tour?" Alexa said.
"The tour has been
postponed until further notice. We aren't going anywhere until you
can come with us," AJ said, already thinking this through.
"Can you tell Nick
to come in here?"
AJ nodded, trying to
not let the sadness show through. "Sure, he'll be right in," he said
quietly. He stood up and kissed her forehead, then headed for the
door. He gave her a smile before he left and walked down the hall
towards the waiting room.
"Hey, Nick, go see
Alexa," AJ said roughly, trying to not look at anyone. He heard Nick
jump up and run down the hall as he sat down. AJ put his head in
his hands and held back tears, not wanting to cry anymore.
"You can cry, baby,
no one would blame you for it," someone said. AJ looked up and into the
kind eyes of his mother.
"But it hurts so bad,
Ma, she's hurt and in pain and I can't do anything about it," he said.
His mother sat next
to him and shooed everyone out of the waiting room. "AJ, honey, there's
nothing any of us can do but wait. The doctor told me that there
could be three reasons. One, she has a disease that is incurable,
two, she has a disease that can be cured, or three, she is suffering from
too much stress. In any instance, she needs us to be strong, to help
her be strong. She needs us, AJ, and if crying behind her back is
what we have to do, than do it, because if she sees us cry, she'll get
weaker. So just let the tears go, Alex, let them go," she said to
him. AJ bent his head down and cried.
Nick smiled as he walked
in the room and faced Alexa. "You always did know when I was sneaking
up on you," he said.
"Its because I always
know where you are, you're too adorable to go unnoticed," Alexa said, taking
his hand as he sat down next to her.
"Ugh, why do you have
to say that I'm adorable?" He asked, putting on a sour face.
"Because you are, little
Nicky!" Alexa exclaimed, pinching his cheeks.
"Ow," Nick said, rubbing
his red cheeks.
"You and your little
belly," Alexa said, laughing and poking him in his stomach.
"Hey! Don't diss
the stomach," Nick said, trying to keep a straight face. 'She's been
through so much and still she has her sense of humor. But is it because
she knows something the rest of us don't?'
"I like your stomach,
I think its cute."
"Oh, cute, another
word I hate," Nick said, grimacing.
Alexa laughed and Nick
turned his grimace into a smile. He leaned forward and kissed her
gently. "I love you," he said quietly.
"I love you too," Alexa
replied, playing with his hair.
Nick sat on the edge
of the bed and tilted his head to the side, letting her reach his head
better. She gently led his head down to her lap and ran her fingers
through his hair.
"Are you trying to
make me tired?" Nick asked, closing his eyes and relaxing.
"No, I just want you
to be here with me, I don't want you to leave and leave me alone again,"
Nick opened his eyes
and looked into Alexa's sad brown eyes. "I'll never leave you alone,
I would never do that to you," he said. "What makes you think that
I would leave you alone?" He asked.
"The other night.
We were staying together in my room and you left when I fell asleep.
I couldn't sleep after that and when I tried to get you, you were gone,
you'd disappeared. You weren't even in your room, I couldn't find
"Alexa, that night,
I.. " Nick retraced his memory and remembered where he'd gone. He
didn't want to tell her, she could get upset. "I needed to be alone,
that's all. It was nothing against you. When I saw that you
were asleep, I couldn't find anything on TV and left, that's all," he explained.
"But where did you
go? Nick, we were in New York City, where did you go?" Alexa
"I... I just went for
a walk," Nick lied.
"Nicky, please don't
lie to me."
"I'm not, I went for
"Where did you end
"Nick, you're lying,
I can tell," Alexa said.
Nick bit his lip and
looked away from Alexa. He was lying, he didn't want to tell her
where he'd gone. He knew she would get upset. 'In fact, she
would be furious. I promised to never betray her, it would kill her
to know what I did.'
"Alexa, I don't want
to talk about it. I just went out and walked, I had to think," Nick
"Who did you see?"
"I... " Nick started
to stutter, he didn't want to say, but maybe not telling her would make
"You know what, I don't
want to know. Just get out," Alexa said, pointing to the door.
"Alexa, I can explain,"
"Go, Nick," she said,
pointing to the door.
Nick sighed and stood
up. He leaned forward to give Alexa a kiss, but she just moved her
Nick walked slowly
to the door, his head down. Whenever she said his full first name,
he knew she was pissed. 'But what else was I gonna do? Maybe I should've
just told her, maybe she would've forgiven me afterwards.' Nick scoffed
to himself as he walked slowly down the hall. 'A little late for
that, Nick. Bravo, you've officially hurt your girlfriend right when
she doesn't deserve it at all,' he scolded himself.
"What's wrong, Nick?"
Brian asked, stopping Nick from going inside the waiting room.
"I just totally hurt
Alexa," Nick said.
"You're kidding me,"
"No, she remembered
when I disappeared that one night and went for a walk in the city.
She said that she didn't stay asleep that night, that she had looked for
me and couldn't find me," Nick said.
I thought you just went for a walk and ended up at the park," Brian said.
"I did... but I didn't
stay there. I... saw someone. Someone I know," Nick admitted.
'First I couldn't tell my girlfriend, now I'm afraid to tell my best friend
what happened five days ago. Sheesh, I am chicken shit.'
"What happened Nick?
Wait a second, you saw her, didn't you?" Brian guessed.
"Yeah, she was in the park."
"And I went with her
to her apartment and we talked."
"Why do I not believe
that is all that happened?"
"Because she kissed
me before I left."
"You're kidding me,
I thought she and you were..."
"We aren't, we saw
each other by chance. And if I hadn't seen her, Alexa wouldn't be
as angry with me as she is now. I lied to her, Bri, and she's furious
that I did. We promised each other that we would never lie to each
other, we would always tell the truth. Well guess what, I totally
ruined her trust and probably killed whatever relationship we had together,"
"Nick, stop exaggerating.
You'll work it out, just tell her what happened. She'll probably
forgive you once you explain, nothing was your fault. You couldn't
have done anything to avoid what she did, it was her fault. Just
explain it to her later, she'll understand," Brian said.
"Later, right now,
I think she wants to be alone," Nick said, starting for the waiting room
"Wait, Denise said
to stay out, she's talking to AJ," Brian said, stopping him.
"I don't know, but
last time I checked, they were both talking and crying, so I think they
ought to be alone for a while, they need the time together."
Nick nodded and walked
towards the elevator, pressing down. He needed to get out of there,
the hospital was becoming too stuffy for him.
"Hey, where'd Nick
"I don't know and I
don't care," Alexa answered Kevin as he walked in the room.
"Whoa, what happened?"
He asked, sitting next to her bed.
"I don't want to talk
about it," Alexa said, rolling on her side and facing away from Kevin.
"Ok," Kevin trailed
off, looking curiously at Alexa. He rubbed her arm gently, knowing
it was soothing to her.
"Kevin, why did he
have to lie to me?" Alexa asked tearfully after a few minutes.
She rolled onto her back and looked at him, tears rolling down her face.
"I don't know, Alexa,
but I'm sure there was a good reason. I know he would never hurt
you intentionally," Kevin said quietly. He wiped away her tears,
hating to see her cry. 'She doesn't deserve this kind of pain, she's
already been through enough. I'm gonna have it out with Nick, he's
gonna get it,' he said to himself. He wiped away more of Alexa's
tears and hummed quietly to her, smoothing her hair back. He kept
humming until she closed her eyes, and then until she fell asleep.
He got up quietly and kissed her forehead, then walked into the hallway.
He met his cousin as he was walking down the hall with a cup of tea.
He asked him.
"I don't know, he left
here a while ago," Brian answered, sitting wearily in a chair.
Kevin's face hardened
and he walked to the elevator. He went down to the ground floor and
passed by the fans that had found out that they were in the hospital.
He started walking slowly down the street, keeping his hat low to hide
his face. He finally found himself at a cafe and walked in, grabbing
a small table in the back. He ordered a cup of coffee and looked
around the dark place. He spotted a few people who he recognized
from past concerts and a few people who he just knew. Then he spotted
someone, who was leaned over a cup of coffee and their shoulders were shaking
lightly. Kevin got up slowly and walked towards the back table to
the person and sat across from them.
"What happened, Nick?"
Nick looked up at Kevin
and wiped his red eyes. "I don't know, I probably destroyed Alexa's
trust and totally crushed our relationship and lost all respect for myself
at the same time, that's all," he said, sniffling.
Kevin nodded and sipped
from his cup of coffee. He tried to keep his temper controlled, wanting
to get the whole story. "What did you tell Alexa?"
"That's just it, I
didn't. You see, last week, Alexa and I were watching a movie in
her room. She fell asleep and I couldn't find anything on TV, so
I left and took a walk. I ended up at Central Park and sat on a bench,
thinking for a while. Unfortunately, though, someone I rather not
have seen found me. Also unfortunately, Alexa woke up after I left
and searched everywhere for me, and of course, didn't find me. She
was worried and couldn't sleep after that. What's bad about that,
though, is that I went with that person to her apartment and I didn't get
back to the hotel until about six am, way after anyone thought I was asleep.
I just lied to Alexa's face, I didn't tell her what had happened.
If I'd told her what had
happened, she probably would've understood,
but I was too chicken to tell her," Nick explained, wiping away his tears
and stirring his spoon around in his cup.
"What happened at her
apartment?" Kevin asked, knowing whom he was talking about.
"We were talking and
I told her what we were doing there and told her about Alexa and she told
me what had been going on with her. Right before I left, though,
she kissed me. I was shocked that she did, and I didn't kiss her
back, but the mere suggestion to Alexa will make her jump to the worst
possible conclusion. I don't want to hurt her, I never wanted to
lie to her, but I don't want her to think the wrong thing," Nick said,
sipping his coffee. "Ugh, I never liked coffee," he said, taking another
"Nick, maybe you should
just talk to Alexa, explain to her what happened. I came looking
for you with full intention of giving you a piece of my mind, but I'm not
now because I know what happened. It wasn't your fault, you said
yourself that you only talked about Alexa. Just explain what happened,
she'll forgive you," Kevin said.
Nick nodded and took
another long sip of his coffee. "Maybe. Right now, I just want
to forget anything ever happened in New York, I want to forget even seeing
her at this moment. I knew I shouldn't have suggested to walk her
home, but no, I have to be nice to everyone I know," he said, sniffling.
Kevin handed him a napkin and stood up,
leaving a few dollars on the table. He walked silently back to the hospital,
hoping Nick would follow him soon.