So I started a blog... obviously lol. I have a blog on myspace too, but it's nice to have one where no one I know will be reading it. Actually, I don't know if anyone will read it at all. That doesn't really matter though, sometimes you just need to get things out into the "void". I did a personality test today and didn't really like what I saw. I just began college and already I've learned so much about myself that I didn't really know before, at least, I never thought about it. They say that college changes you, which I'm sure it will, but first I'd like to know who I am. Maybe that's part of the change, discovering who you are and coming to grips with it. I've been talking about personality thus far, but character plays a very key part in identity as well. I think that both will change over the next few years, and as far as my personality goes, I don't really know how I'd like that to change. My character, however, I want to see strengthen and build. I'm satisfied to leave both up to God to shape for me. It's kind of a scary thing to say. God's shaping usually maybe always involves stretching and pain. I'm not sure that I can honestly say that I am willing to go through more of that. I want to grow, I just don't want it to hurt. Wouldn't it be nice??
You know those times when you're just completely dissatisfied with yourself? With everything: personality, looks, abilities, etc.... I think it might come from being too focused on yourself, myself. Actually, I'm sure that's where it comes from. i think also that sometimes God kinda gives us a little nudge to point out some things we need to work on that are keeping us from being even closer to Him. Not things like looks and personality necessarily, but lifestyles and choices. These are rather big and vague words, but I mean little things when I use them. We can usually see the "big" things that are wrong in our lives so God doesn't really need to point them out. It's the little things that He usually opens our eyes to. i keep saying "we" and "us", but I mean me. This is kind of turning out to be a rather long blog, but typing these things out helps me think it out.
well I am done for now....