Merry Christmas, Love, Buzz

Merry Christmas!

'Twas just days before Christmas,

and my teeth, they did chatter,

for snowskiing naked is no laughing matter.

The townspeople gasped, and all screamed in fear,

for I was coming straight at them, and loaded on beer.

My schmeckle is frozen, I thought as I went,

it is pruny and twisted, and besides, it is bent.

I approached the town quickly, and started to laugh,

'till I broke through some barbed wire, and rear ended a calf.

I swirved and he twisted, as we both ran amuck,

but alas, it was no good, the poor thing was stuck.

A more grizzly picture, no one can remember,

than a fat naked redneck, with a calf on his member.

I came to a stop, in the center of the crowd,

and could not help laughing, and laughing out loud!

I pulled the poor calf off, and let it run free,

but I was laughing so damned hard, I started to pee.

I stepped up to a lady, she knew not what to do,

and so gently I kissed her, and simply said "Moo."

Looking into her wide eyes, I thought I saw lust,

but she then keeled over, and died of disgust.

I was quickly arrested, and thrown into a cage,

and that , my dear friend, is the end of this page...

December 21, 2003