My True Feelings
Monday, April 25, 2005
22 April nite, I realised my mum went to medium to seek for help. And realised that "she" was back again. Then did i realise that my dream seem true to me.
"She" caressed my mum head.... the medium give her some charm to bathe as well as drink. My sister start to wear the charm around her neck.
N to think that i saw her in my dreams!
I slept at around 4.30am. Then slowly, i saw my family. they all are watching televsion in the living room. The house i was in, doesn't look like i stayed there. In fact, it was like a bungalow to me. somehow, they went off to search for her. And me, i took one magazine, folded them and start looking around. I saw her in the television. she appeared. long hair, short fringe, dark circle around her eyes, wearing white dress with long sleeve. then my hand raised up just wanna hit her and the other hand keep pointing at the tv. Somehow, something stopped me. I dunno if i am scared till there was no strength to hit her or something just stopped me. then she disappeared. we all went to search for her.
And then i woke up. Checking the time. 5.20am. Gosh, i can't sleep. After that, i switch on the light and study. My mum came to check on me. Well, knowing that my mum is scared of her, i kept silent till the next morning came and told her the truth.
My younger sister also felt the presence of "her". coldness. then she took out the charm and flash for a while.
hm... i just wonder if that is a dream of mine or she really there? I couldn't differentiate between the reality and the dream. But all i know is when i woke up, my heart kept throbbing and feel scared.
But i never know that i am so violent to the extent that i wanna hit her when i see her! hahahah.... my dad and me are alike. always violent in dreams. but that was the first dream that i was so violent to hit "her".
mum wanna take me to see medium on this coming friday. think she just scared something happened to me?
Saturday, April 16, 2005
I dream that someone wanna push me out of my body. I woke up and was too scared to fall asleep.
I hope it is a dream.
Friday, April 15, 2005
My India colleague's brother dies of heart attack. There was no history records of heart attack for his brother. What i heard from my Indian's colleague is that his brother bought some medicine from the pharmcy and ate it. Then suddenly heart attack and no one was at home, thus die.
some colleague decided to pay his brother their last respect. I was alittle unwilling to pay him my last respect becoz the medium told me not to visit any pple in hospital or funeral. But well, it is better for me to go despite unwillingless.
It was my first time going for Indian funeral. When we reached void deck of the HDB, we realised the funeral first day was tomolo. Today they just chat around. We went up to his house and i heard loud crying. I saw a cloth covering his leg. There was no coffin at all. The body was laid on the flower with some flower around him. I didn't went into the house. It was crowded with pple.
After that, we went off.
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i dreamt that "she" has come back. She was found in my sister's house. and then my sister came down for help. The most scary part was that i saw my house front door open by itself and I threw the banana skin at the door and my hand reach out to strangle her though i couldn't see anyone.
I woke up and realised my hand was hanging up in the air.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I dun understand y she wanna turn up for the gathering. I dun wish to see her. That's y i cancelled.
I am surprised that he is waiting for me. Asking me for a chance.
he: I admit i am not good enough for u.
the thing is that i no interest in him.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Was surprised when louis ask me out for lunch. He getting more n more attractive. Shall try not to have any feeling for him as he is getting ROM next year, i guess.
Lynn celebration was at KTV. Dun like the feeling that she holding the controller and pressing the songs for us. Most of the time, i didn't get to select the song that i wan. Lucky joey help me by letting me choose and insert the song for me.
After the ktv, lynn, joey and i went to spinell to look for her bf as well as intro a guy to us. This guy she said that was more good-looking than her bf.
But when joey and i saw him, ahhahahahah, we both agree that her bf good-looking than him.
Joey: ni xuan de dui xiang hai bu cuo, bu guo ni bang bie ren xuan de dui xiang bu shen me hao.
Me: ya lor ya lor
hahahahahah
lynn: no leh, he more good-looking than my bf!
joey and i shook our head. No no no, her bf is definitely good-looking than hers!
Monday, April 11, 2005
who can actually believe that there is "something" in my house for a long long time. I myself didn't realize it, except that i thought i saw something that WAS in my room but realised that it was my monitor who make up the shape of the head and the chair which makes up the shape of the body.
Well, "she" didn't give us any harm, giving my father a bit of luck and giving my younger sister a bit of disturbing dream.
One day she confessed that she had saw her face near her face till she could actually see the dark circle around her eyes. She told mum and our family decided to chase her out of the house.
So they burn the joss stick at 9pm everyday for at least 7 days which the formula that was given by him who was station outside the Guan yin temple.
guess my dad said that to her that if we strike lottery, we shall let her stay. And soon, we really strike lottery. Well, no choice, let her stay since she meant no harm to us.
There was this incident when i was online chatting with Louis, Nelson, Jeslyn and Mervin. At that time i heard a loud bang on the wall. It was around 12++am. I jumped a little. Not that I scared of her. Just that it was quiet and suddenly a loud bang. I believe that the sound doesn't come from upstair and so i concluded it was done by her. Looking around my room, yet i couldn't see her. In my mind, if i really see her, i will be scared but if i dun see her, I wish i can see her. I was very angry for she disturb my peace. So i type my keyboard real loud. I didnt care.
One day, my younger sister told me that she feel that "she" is trying to possess her body. Luckily with her strong will, she manage to get "her" out. And from there, she slept in the living room where my "Guan yin" is placed.
We went back to the Guan yin Temple to seek for help. We had to chase her out this time!
They went to the medium to seek for advice. The medium ask: this happened not onli for a few days rite?
My sister said: yes
so, my house was sprinkled with rice and some charm for my sister to bath as well as drink. She wasn't allowed to go out of the house at night for at least 3 days. The next week, she was asked to go back.
So she went back. The medium said: so far everything ok?
my sister said: yes
then she was asked to go back on saturday night to "Bu yun" (replenish for luck).
This time i tag along with her. Mum, sis and i waited for a long time, almost an hour before i could step into the house. I kneeled down and the medium moved the holy flag thru and forth and said something to a guy. This guy said: ni shi bu shi men men bu le?
i replied: hai hao bah
the guy said: if you have ay problem, you can seek the god for help.
i replied: ok
it's true that i am moody. but for wat reason, i myself also dunno. I wish to know the answer by asking. But i just think that if i know the ans, will that help?
Guess i rather put it as mystery.
Friday, April 08, 2005
so how was it? Many pple sms/msn me to ask me how was it. well, i will say simply sucks. I wasn't quite enjoying the game. i was much more in the anger mood than a fake smile on my face.
1. The weight of the ball that u normally played wasn't available. My confidence was reduce by 10%
2. There was some pain in my finger. The confidence was reduced by another 10%.
3. Your colleague was nagging at u. asking u to relax. My fustrated went up to 100% plus no mood to play. so in all, my skills drop to 50%. hahaha
so be it. well, they did ask me to treat it as a game. Lose or win doesn't matter. but on the day of competition, they NAG AT ME???
WTF?!?!?
