Jokes to Heal to Heartache

*If your ex was fat...
-X is so fat that he sat on a rainbow and a skittle popped out!
-X is so fat that the back of his neck looks like a pack of hotdogs!
-X is so fat that when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up!
-X is so fat that he fell in love...and broke it!
-X is so fat even his shadow has stretch marks
-X is so fat and short you cant see his legs it looks like he glides across the floor
-X stepped on the weighing scale and it said one at a time please

*If your ex was dumb...

-X is so dumb that it took him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!
-X is so dumb that he threw a brick at the floor and missed
-X is so dumb that he hears it's chilly outside so he gets a bowl
-X is so dumb that he went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so he went home.
-X is so dumb that he saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, he went home and got 16 friends

*If your ex was a pothead (and short)...

-X is so high, that he actually thinks he's tall!
-X is so short, that you can see his feet on his drivers lisence!
-X's arms are so short, he has to tilt his head to scratch his ear

*If your ex had poor hygiene or was bald...

-X is so drunk that he thinks his teeth are clean!
-X is so bald he cant sleep at night b\c his head slips off the pillow
-X is so bald he blinds everyone else cuz the sun reflects off it!
-X's teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down every time he smiles


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