Jerry Maguire. It is one of the worst movies ever made. Enough said.


Dancing. I am not coordinated enough... I'm either wondering what I should be doing with my arms, or with my legs. I can move either the arms or the legs, but not both at once. It just gets too complicated. When I dance, someone is bound to get hurt.


Vitamins in general. I can't explain why. 

Those white bunnies with the demonic red eyes. They are up to no good. Those evil little shits are planning something. What kind of animal is all cute and fluffy and adorable, and has GLOWING RED EYES??? The answer: an animal that is plotting to kill you. Don't say I didn't warn you. 


Reduced fat Cheez-its. They taste like crap.


Glastonbury High School Key Club.. Nazi bastards.

How my laptop keyboard beeps if you hit two keys at once. Stop yelling at me, you stupid


"You are" is "you're". NOT "your". NOT "ur". It's called a contraction, you dumbasses. YOUR is possesive, it denotes ownership of something. It is not (and cannot be) a verb.
 YOU ARE= You're. To solve this problem, I propose giving semi-automatic weapons to English majors. 

my roommate from freshman year

ditzy people (see above)


The MSB complex. It's designed to drive you insane! To get to the second floor requires climbing two flights of stairs, and then back down one. Is this some sort of maze? "Congratulations, you can find yourself around the Math building, I guess this means you're smart enough to take classes here. And as for the rest of you, you're now damned to spend eternity wandering in this maze of poorly-ventilated classrooms. Oh, and you're not getting any TAs that speak English, either."


how pale my skin is


Screen names in which you declare how "hot" or "awesome" you are... shoot me if I ever register the screen name "Sexy/Cute/Smart/FunnyGirl02". What is this, a personal ad?? Maybe you could get away with that if you were 12 years old and had O-Town posters on your wall, but you're still stupid. Here's a suggestion: StupidButIThinkImHot6969, FailureAtLifeButI'llHaveSexWithYouForMoney186, or FeelTheNeedToAdvertiseMyAdorablenessConstantlySoIGotThisStupidScreenname.

Political Apathy

"Monkey Ball". Stupid video game. It gives me a headache.

The Cox Family Band. You suck. Stop playing shitty bluegrass music and leave me alone.

That funky ass smell coming from Mirror Lake. Someone needs to dump some chlorine in there or kill off the geese or something.

Winter at UConn

Geese... those little shits bite. And they crap everywhere.

German Shepherds

people who don't use turn signals

me in a miniskirt

the constant construction at UConn. How about you finish a damn building before starting on yet another one? Or even better, let's just go insane and start demolishing things. Arjona? Monteith? Old Co-op? Smash 'em! It's not like it costs MONEY to tear down all these buildings and build completely new ones that won't be done until after I graduate.

the F-lot bus


why can't gravity be ten? It would just make life easier.

being put on hold

George Bush

"White Trash Wedding" by the Dixie Chicks. It just sucks. Doesn't someone listen to their CD's before they release them!? Is there no one who could have said "Guys, great album, but this song is the shittiest song I've ever heard"?

Smokey the Bear

Middle school gym classes

religious fanatics

my eighth grade math teacher

Abercrombie. "This shirt was ONLY $40 at Abercrombie." (Oh boy, what a DEAL)

Stupid people who think they're brilliant

grammar. Number one, the concept of grammar, all those stupid nitpickity stupid rules. Second of all, the spelling of the world grammar. It should be "Grammer". It just looks better that way.

Scoobie Doo



the color brown

internet pop-up ads

pop-under ads

Toby Keith doing Ford commercials. Sell-out. 

"That is SO LIBERAL!" Just because you don't understand a concept, or even necessarily agree with it, does not mean you can file it under the blanket insult of "LIBERAL". Find a new insult. "That is so CONSERVATIVE!"



people who constantly whistle


people snapping their gum

unsalted pretzels. The salt is what makes it good.


Meriden (not necessarily PEOPLE from Meriden, just the actual location)

the Teletubbies

The Yankees