My son, Sgt. Peter Anthony Maginnis NYPD was and still is "my whole life". He entered the NYC police department in 1987 at the age of 22. We literally went through the academy together -up at 3:00AM every morning - studying together. He loved every moment of it. Every Friday he would bring me one red rose to thank me for getting up with him. He was so thoughtful and lovable! He met his wife when he was working at a concert in Madison Square Garden in 1988. From day one, I knew this girl was trouble! Isn't it amazing how God gives us a 'special' sense concerning our children. We had long discussions but I didn't want to lose him so I shut up. I should have screamed my lungs out and through her out - but I didn't want to lose him. They married on April 25th 1992, and from then on it was a nightmare. I never interfered (I should have) She mentally and physically abused Sgt. Pete from the time they were married until the day that he completed suicide to get away from her. Sgt. Pete died on 9/20/99.
I wish I could smile, but it is so hard these days. It seems like it's getting worse rather than healing. He was not only my present, he was my future. He always told me, "Mom, I will never leave you no matter what happens." We went through so much together. He was my rock, my wind beneath my wings. This child of mine would never let anyone harm me... He changed my tears to laughter. I never knew when he would sneak up behind me and give me one of his 'bear' hugs... My arms are so empty now... This world lost a great man, a wonderful cop and a smile that's beyond compare... How do you heal from this? I just go along each day and pray for God to take me too.
Sharing with you about Sgt. Pete.
Mom, Jo-Ann Maginnis
A Policeman's Prayer
Lord, I ask for courage;
Courage to face and conquer my own fears...
Courage to take me where others will not go.
I ask for strength;
Strength of body to protect others...
Strength of spirit to lead others.
I ask dedication;
Dedication to my job to do it well...
Dedication to my community to keep it safe.
Give me, Lord, concern;
For all those who trust me...
And compassion for those who need me
And, please, Lord, through it all; be at my side.
Author Unknown
"The Final Inspection"
The policeman stood and faced his God,
which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, policeman.
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My church have you been true?"
The policeman squared his shoulders
and said, "No Lord. I guess I ain't.
Because those who carry badges,
can't always be a saint."
"I've had to work most Sundays,
and at times my talk was rough...
and sometimes I've been violent
because the streets are awful tough."
"But I never took a penny,
that wasn't mine to keep...
though I worked a lot of overtime
when the bills got just too steep."
"And I never passed a cry for help,
though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I wept unmanly tears."
"I know I don't deserve a place
among the people here.
They never wanted me around
except to calm their fear."
"If you've a place for me here, Lord,
it needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But, if you don't...I'll understand."
There was silence all around the throne,
where saints had often trod,
as the policeman waited quietly
for the judgement of his God.
"Step forward now, policeman
You've borne your burdens well.
Come walk a beat on heaven's streets.
You've done your time in hell."
Author Unknown
A Patrolman's Departure
They are standing straight and stoic, they are standing glove-to-glove,
It is raining, it is freezing, but they stand for pain and love.
Their hat-brims hide the hatred and the torture in their eyes,
They cannot help but feel the void when one of their own dies.
The service now is over and the widow staggers out,
All arms now at attention as the bagpipes cry and shout.
Flag-draped casket on six shoulders, could this day get any worse?
A salute's the silent answer as they load him in the hearse.
The speeches done, the songs are sung, it's time now for a ride,
The cortege is enormous, like a head-of-state has died,
The lights roll infinitum and the grief is crawling past,
Us citizens just stand there, we are watching to the last.
We wonder at the pageantry, our heads shake in despair,
We think, as the three-shot volley pierces through the morning air,
"Oh, this didn't have to happen, what an awful tragic day,"
"In this sea of hurt and anguish, how will Justice find its way?"
But as the ranks disperse and as they trudge back to their cars,
We know that for the killer await four walls of iron bars.
They'll put aside their grief just like they're trained so well to do,
For even crafty killers can't evade this mass of blue.
So the funeral has ended, and the mayor has gone home,
I've heard some people question, "are we well within the zone,"
"To put on such a costly show for cops just pounding pavement?"
But how can we sit 'round and judge a slain cop's final payment?
To say it's inappropriate, to question it with scorn,
Shows that you know nothing of the target that is worn,
On every good cop's shirt or vest, on every trooper's heart,
It calls out like a bulls eye, it is simply called the badge.
Author Unknown
Tears Of A Cop
I have been where you fear to be.
I have seen what you fear to see.
I have done what you fear to do.
All these things I've done for you.
I am the one you lean upon.
The one you cast your scorn upon.
The one you bring your troubles to,
All these people I've been for you.
The one you ask to stand apart.
The one you feel should have no heart.
The one you call the officer in blue.
But I am human, just like you.
And through the years I've come to see
That I am not what you ask of me.
So take this badge and take this gun.
Will you take it?
Will anyone?
And when you watch a person die,
And hear a battered baby cry.
Then so you think that you can be
All those things you ask of me?
Author Unknown
Sgt. Pete and his daughter Joly. He died just one month after her first birthday.
maginnisnypd@aol.com
The Wind Beneath My Wings
Bette Midler
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way,
you always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name -- for so long,
a beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would be nothing with out you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away,
you let me fly so high.
Oh, fly, fly,
so high against the sky, so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you,
the wind beneath my wings.
Happy Valentine's Day 2006 Sgt. Pete!!!
Love, Mom
