The story below was done by a 13yr old girl named Tiffany who wanted to help prevent teenage suicide, she asked me if she could use Jonathan's story for her school project.
Donna Adams
December 29, 2004
Dear Friend,
Please help with these questions and hopefully one day it may prevent the loss or save someone else's life.
Monday, December 06, 2004
1. Were there any signs of inevitable (impossible to prevent) suicide?
No I feel that this was not meant to be.
2. Describe your relationship with Jonathan over the past year?
There were a lot of ups and downs, his mental illness, getting use to medications and trying to find the right one was hard at times, and with his teenage years combined we had a lot of emotional crisis, but we always said I love you to each other no matter what happened. He was very funny and he had a good since of humor, which made me laugh a lot, so I mostly have good memories of him and our times together.
3. If you had to choose 2 main things that could have been troubling him so bad, what would these be?
School would be number one, and number two would be hard to pin down. I think it was a lot of little things that added up to one big issue.
4. Do you think the absence of a constant Fatherly figure was a factor in his depression, growth decision?
Yes it was, all boys need a good male role model in their life, this is not a myth this is a fact.
5. Did he ever talk about suicide before and/or did you see anything different or unusual that day/week?
He had never attempted suicide before, although he had one time screamed that he would kill himself if or because he didn't get his way, which I felt this was for attention. I do know that the week before this happened was a rough week and I knew he was having medication problems, I was very worried and felt something urgent or a bad aurora the week of, about what? I don't know except that I had a panic feeling all week and tried to get him to the doctor and I also reported to social worker and probation officer that I felt he needed 24/7 monitoring and that I was not able to do that, would they please help me. By the final outcome you can see that didn't happen.
6 Did you ever notice any improvement in his behavior or attitude during the past year as a result of his medication?
I did notice on two different occasions, the first was when he read a book for the fist time in a year and half book the book was “Eragon”. I think this was a result of the Zoloft (depression) and Strattera for ADHD. A couple months later he had to have his medication changed because the two medications that his was currently taking induced mania in someone with bipolar. He was then put on Depakote (mood stabilizer) and Lexapro (depression) then after a couple months during the first part of the summer he almost seemed like his old self again.
Did he ever complain about his medication?
Yes, he complained sometimes that he did not like the way it made him feel-tired. Then again he complained the week before his suicide that he was having a lot of anxiety and trouble sleeping. Which, I then made an emergency call into his doctor for an appointment? That was on Wednesday night Oct 13th.
7. Did he ever have any activities, sports, music or other interest that you know of?
He was into sports for over 8yrs he played, basketball, baseball and football. Football was his favorite sport.
8. Did he often want for material things or feel cheated that others had more than him?
No, I would have to say for a teenager he was not materialist and was not into keeping up with all the trends etc.
Jonathan was Jonathan; he had his only personal style. He liked his play station, bike and stereo.
I had bought him a computer for his birthday last year but he didn't ask for it.
9. Did he ever complain of school, other students, teachers etc.?
He did not like the school he was going to at the time Hawthorne Academy, he also complained about his teacher a lot.
10. Did he ever complain of relationship (parents) (girls) (friends) problems?
He had some normal problems; his relationship with his Father was not going real well, and no he did not have girl problems he was a real flirt at times.
11.Do you have any opinions, answers of why or how he did this?
I think because of his illness he was unable to cope with all of the stress in his life and he maybe just gave up. I know he wasn't thinking clearly and wouldn't have done or attempted this if he was.
12. Can you think of anything you could have maybe done differently that day or before this to have stopped or prevented it?
I think I tried to do everything I could do, one thing I have learned that the sign he gave calmer more at peace was suicidal.
13. If he could talk to you now, what do you think he would want you to know?
That he didn't mean to do it. That he misses his friends, his dogs, his room, his life and me just as much as we miss him.
14. Birthday August 3rd 1990
15. Angel date (date of passing) October 18th 2004
Thank you for all of your help, please email these back to me ASAP.
Sincerely,
Donna Adams
Email Jon's Mom, Donna!
  
March 12, 2005
Dear friends:
I am Donna Adams and I am new to your group, I have been reading the newsletters and emails for a while and thought maybe it was time for me to share my story and maybe it would help someone else to know that you can get thru this loss - but never get over it. It will be five months on March 18' that I lost my 14 year old son Jonathan to suicide. This is the biggest nightmare a parent will or should ever face. You see when Jonathan died, a big part of me died also. At first I didn't see it or believe it, but now that I am coming around to reality I know its real and in effect I am a different person. How? Here are a few ways, for one I am not the happy, vibrant and confident person I use to be, I look at a lot of things differently now. Things that use to matter don't anymore, and things that didn't matter do now. I have a whole different perspective and view on life. I am not saying that any of this is good or bad but just different. Also this is a time of learning. Learning who your friends are, who your real family is and who or what your other half spouse-husband, etc., is about. I have also learned a lot more about myself, and that is life is short and sometimes too short unfortunately. If I could trade places with my son I would in a second, I know this is not possible but that is how much I loved him and will miss him everyday for the rest of my life. Therefore I am now on the road less traveled.
Jonathan tried to be a tough guy on the outside but I knew he was a very fragile-sensitive boy who loved animals, babies and especially elderly people.
He really loved my 78 year neighbor Nell, he would talked to her for hours. He actually helped to save her life. One time he was staying the night with her grandson Gerard and everyone was asleep. Jonathan heard Nell making noises and thought she was having trouble breathing, he persuaded her to sit outside and get some fresh air then he called her daughter. Her daughter came home and called the ambulance they took her to the hospital and discover a tumor on her lung. Nell had an emergency operation and had the tumor removed. Jonathan was relieved that she was going to be all right. He had a very compassionate side to him.
Last May he came across some of my mail and found out that I may have breast cancer, he was so upset but I assured him I would be all right. His teacher one day ask the students if they had a million dollars what would they do with it and Jonathan said he would donate it to the breast cancer research fund. So you see he was truly a remarkable boy with a good heart and is dearly missed.
After reading Jonathan's story if any of you have questions or would like to share your story with me or just talk email me.
Thank You
Donna Adams
Email Jon's Mom, Donna!
"Jonathan lives on in our hearts for those we love could never be forgotten"
Here is something I read in a scrapbook from one of Jonathan's friends
"We all take different paths in life,
but no matter where we go
we take a little of each other everywhere"
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