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After the great "fallout" I was pretty much lost. Here I was, this 15 year old kid, hooked on drugs and nothing left to live for. I pretty much cried for about 3 days straight. After awhile I started to go out again but things just weren't going be the same without Anne. I started drinking allot. I became something that you'd see on some after school special from the 80's. The only thing that really made me happy was Anne and Anne wasn't talking to me. I'd call every now and again and she'd blow me off. I can't blame her. She didn't know the whole story. Plus she wanted to move on. So I just decided to slip away with my emotions and go be a dumb ass party goin' kid.

In the middle of all this partying something happened that looking back, probably saved my life. I was being the druggie loser that I told you about when one day I decided to buy some acid. I think me and my friend brian bought 8 hits each. We both took 2 and he drove us out to his house where I was going to sleep that night. After about 30 minutes I didn't feel anything and I had heard that after 30 minutes you should feel something. So we both agreed to take two more. After 30 MORE minutes...nothing. So we took 2 more. Do you see where this is going?? An hour after that we decided to just forgo the acid because we thought it was fake stuff and just smoke weed. So we rolled up what had to of been a joint the size of a baseball bat. We dusted that off and then I started feeling weird. Next thing I know SMACK!! All the LSD that I had ingested kicks in and I'm lost somewhere in outerspace. It was so strong that my heart started pounding like a race horse. I was dying. I couldn't breath right and my face was white in color. I told Brian to take me home. So he rushed me back to my house. I woke my parents and told them I thought I was dying. They laied me down and tried to talk to me to make me relaxe a little. I stayed up all night and luckly for me..I lived.

Surviving that overdose was it. I had seen the light and I wanted out for good. I stayed in my house for about 2 weeks. Clearing my body of the withdraw. It was rough, with all the vomiting and panic attacks, but I made it :).

About 1 week after I was clean I was sitting on my couch at like 11:00 pm falling a sleeping when the phone rang. I thought "who the hell is this...can't those druggie bitches leave me alone". What happened next changed my life..again.

It was Anne. She had just got off work at DQ and she wanted to talk to me. I think at the time I was standing up...and when I heard her voice I started jumping up and down..lol. You see, she was the only one who could transend me like that. I think she's the only one that ever had that effect on me. So anyway, I told her to call me the next day and we talked for quit some time. The only thing I noticed different this time around was that she seemed a little withdrawn. Like she was being really cautious of me. I understood that and I didn't want to push her so I kept my distance and tried as hard as I could not to rush her into things.

As time went on through the summer we kept talking on the phone. For awhile we even talked every night. It was like the one time during the day that made me feel totally at peace. Nothing could bother me now. Just the women I loved and a second chance at building a beautiful realationship. Could you ask for more than that?? Well I did...and that's where things go from euphoric...to down right nightmarish.

It happened late at night. This night was like no other night. Anne wanted me to talk to her and her friend and this friend of hers didn't like me at all and I knew it. So for the first time, I had some of my dads beers. I thought that if I numbed myself, I wouldn't do anything too over the top and screw it all up(my how the 16 year old brain works huh?). Turns out the oppisite occured.

We were talking about something that I had thought was a serious issue but on this night Anne seemed a little bit distant. Like she just wanted to talk to me tomorrow so she and her friend could be alone. Well, as the beers kept flowing I started to turn into some fucking monster. So here I am, becoming this loud mouth opinionated drunkin jerk when next thing you know Anne's handing her friend the phone so she could do something(OH SHIT..right?). So I get mad and tell her friend that "Anne should pay more attention to her boyfriend than her friends". Then her friend starts telling me that Anne's friendS will always come before her boyfriends. Well, at the present state of mind I was in that didn't sit too well with me so I started in on her. She called me an asshole or a jerk or something and then got Anne on the phone. Anne starts telling me off and backing up her friend. Well she should have too...I was being a complete drunking jerk off anyway!! So me and her start in on eachother and her friend started calling me names again in the back ground so I called her friend a bitch. Then Anne says "excuse me"?? Then I said "you heard me...you're friend is being a bitch". Then Anne says something and I saying the one thing that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I said "oh yeah, well you're a bitch too". That was the end of the phone call and the end of everything forever.

Since that phone call we have never spoken again. I tried calling her but either it was her mom telling to me not call or it was her dad or sometimes herself. I just wanted to tell her that I was fucked from the alcohol but she didn't wanna listen to it. I didn't understand back then. I'd call and give her shit because in my mind I thought she was in the wrong. I never took the time to think about things the write way. Now looking back, what I should have done was FIRST..not drink anything and be a man. Second, I should have just been understanding. If only that happned right now. Man, I would have been a stand up guy lol. I think about how I'd handle that situation now allot and things would have been so different.

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