So anyway, after Joel had finished trying his hardest to charm these girls (which faild big time :)..sorry Joel) he asked me and Nate if we cared if the girls hung out with us. Of course I didn't mind. I think nate did...but I can't remember. So I put Anne on the back of my Jog and Joel took her friend on his and we went to the Fairgrounds around the corner. We had some pot that we were smoking (dumb ass youth..I know..and man did I have to learn the hard way...thank god I got away from all that a few years ago. Best thing I ever did) and the girls wanted to try it for the first time. So we went into this little horse barn in the back of the fair grounds. We smoked some of it with them and just talked. I think that's when I realized that I was acutally starting to fall in love with this girl. We didn't talk to eachother much...but she and I had that little flirty thing going on. I guess I made her happy in a way. She said that I was a "trip". Still don't know what the hell that meant:) So after awhile the girls wanted to go home. So we threw them on the back of these little scooters and trucked across town. We dropped them off a few roads before Annes house. I was worried at the time because they were really high and I didn't want anything to happen to them. God forbid Anne walking off into traffic or something. I had no choice though, because we were all high at the time and she didn't want any of us around her parents think. So we dorve off..and in my mirror I watched her slowly dissapear in the distance.
Now, needless to say I was FLYING high. Except not on drugs anymore, on Anne. Me and my two friends stayed out till it got dark and pulled under some type of shelter place by Eisenhower. We smoked some MORE pot...(losers..weren't we?) and just talked. Now I couldn't tell you what they were talking about because all I could think about was Anne...Anne...Anne!! I was so happy, and it showed. I can't count how many times Joel and Nate told me to shut the fuck up..lol. All I could talk about was Anne and how beautiful she was...and how bad I wanted to see her again and make her happy and bla bla bla. My life had begain it's best and worst of times.
The next day I woke up feeling pretty much the same way. Only I was a little uneasy because I knew that if she didn't call me that I'd have to call her. Either way I was going to have to talk and as I explained earlier, that wasn't an easy thing for me to do. Well, she called me that night. We talked for a few hours and by the time it was over WE WERE A COUPLE!! This was my superbowl. This was like my highest point. I had never...EVER...felt happier in my life. I still haven't gotten close to it to this day and I'm 22 years old. 7 years later and still nothing to compare to it. I just sat around my house the following day because I didn't give a rats ass about anything else. Anne was going to be my entire life. I was going to make her my litte baby. You see, it's not often (as I've found out) that a person comes along that can touch your soul. So I was going to make sure she didn't slip away. Or that I didn't fuck something up. I had a pager at the time. Mainly for my friends and Anne but MAN!! You wouldn't have known it was for my friends,family or anything else for that matter. All she did was page me. Probably 15 times a day. This girl cared for me just as much as I did for her and that is priceless. It' something that now I regret.I wish I had just grown up back then...but I was 15...and growing up was gonna take experiencing these mistakes. It's unfair really.
We went out for awhile. Everything was going smoothly until one cold rainy night. I got a call from Anne asking me if I'd like to come over later and watch a movie with her. I believe it was CandyMan2. I told her that I'd call her back because in my mind I was starting to freak out. I mean HER HOUSE?? I was a complete fucking chicken!! I had only held her hand, and hug her body. Going to her house meant KISSING her mouth. So I freaked for awhile and then Nate called and asked if he could stop by. I got a stupid idea in my mind. I thought.."hey...take nate...then she can't kiss me". WHAT A MORON!! Anyway, I asked him if he'd come with me to Anne's place and he said yes. So he stopped by and we were off. We went on foot because it was night time and nates mom didn't like him ridding past dark, and of course little natie pooh listened to his mom so we had to walk..lol. Once we got to her neighborhood. We couldn't find the street. So now I'm freaking out even more because I didn't want to make Anne mad. So I told nate to go to jim and bettys house. Jim and betty were nates godfather and mother. I knew they lived around there. So nate went inside and called anne. After about 30 minutes we FINALLY got there. We walked in her house and went down the stairs. The moive had already started. She was sitting on her couch. In her PJ'S. I sat down next to her. Even though I was a little tense, I tried not to show it. So I put my arm around her and we just talked a little. I think we were a little more into eachother than the movie because we just kept looking at eachother. After about 10 or 15 minutes of this I heard a knock at the door. It was her older brother. Now can you imagine what was going through my mind?? Damn...lol..talk abour worried. Well nothing really happened thank god. He just said I had to go. So I got off the couch and walked up the stairs and out the door. Anne was close behind me. We were at about the middle of her driveway when she said something about saying goodbye to her. So I turned around and started walking close. I guess nate had drifted off in front of me and was a ways away. Which must have made Anne feel like this was her chance to plant one on me. She opened her arms like she was going to hug me. Now, in my mind I'm going..."Oh, I can handle that..a hug..I can do that". So I open my arms too. Then when we're about a half foot away from eachother she starts opening her mouth to kiss me. AHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOO!!! I totally freaked out and turned my head to the side of her face and just hugged her. This, my friends, would turn out to be the one and only knock out punch in our short relationship. She broke up with me. She must have felt embarressed or maybe she felt rejected. Like "hey, what's wrong with me that he can't give me a goodbye kiss"?
Well,Anne honey,listen... this wasn't the case. I've never told anyone except a later girl friend this. I DIDN'T KISS YOU BECAUSE I WAS AFRIAD THAT I WAS GOING TO MAKE AN ASS OUT OF MYSELF. You see, that would have been my first kiss and I knew that you had dated one other boy before me. So I was scared that you would think I was a bad kisser, or just dumb. You don't know how BAD I wanted that kiss. Looking back it would have been the the greatest thing for me to have had my first with you. That's all I ever wanted...was to be loved by you...and to love you back. So when you said that you were dumping me because of this it totally broke me up. I wanted to tell you my side of the story. I wanted to tell you why it happend but I coudn't. I coudn't because I was scared about my stupid ass friends finding out that I was a virgin. How stupid huh?? Fuck up a beauitful thing like that over pride?? I guess that stuff happens when your 15. I tried my hardest to talk to you again but you weren't the type to hear anyone's excuses. You shut me out...and left me to die and in many ways...the later of the two was just what happened.