Confession: I've never played strip poker. Never in my life. I'm a strip-poker virgin.

If you were to take a random poll among men or boys who experiment(ed) sexually with other boys from 8-9 y/o through early teen years, I'll bet you would hear a sizeable number of stories that involved playing strip poker, or similar card games. Oddly enough, I never took that approach, nor did any other boys ever propose it with me. I say "oddly", because: (a) I experimented (and more) with many boys, and you'd expect the law of averages to produce at least one strip-poker incident; and (b) I liked to play cards as a kid, including poker.

But it never happened. We played other stripping games, but not strip poker. I think, looking back, that it was mainly because I was just more direct than that. I think most strip poker games begin with one or more players thinking something like this: "Boy, I'd like to see his weenie... but I need an excuse, a pretext... let's see... I've heard of strip poker... should I suggest it? Well, here goes..." Not uncommonly, I was just straightforward: "Do you ever get boners?... Wanna see mine?" Hey, it saved time :). Besides, I tended to be a competitor in card games and games generally. I was never the humorless Vince Lombardi type, but I liked to concentrate on the games when I played - cards, sports, whatever. Games were always social occasions, first and foremost (still true today), but part of me always kept score.

So, I never got to play strip poker. (Pause to allow the commiseration to subside: "aww, poor Danny, so deprived..." Okay, I'm not complaining. :)) I did play sexually-oriented games with other boys a number of times, however. I think I played spin-the-bottle twice with boys (and a few times with girls).

Mostly, though, we played another old classic: "Truth or Dare". We didn't call it "Truth or Dare" back then, not in my neck of the woods at any rate. I don't remember that the game had a consistent name. I think we just called it "dare you". We didn't worry about the name; we just played it. One of the most memorable occasions was the first group masturbation (a.k.a. the traditional circle-jerk) I engaged in, at age 11... that's another story.

And the incident you're about to read is another. It wasn't the first time I ever turned the "truth or dare" game into something sexual, but it was still pretty new to me. This particular memory is about getting my friend Matt to play the game with me, and I think it's about as close to the usual boyhood strip-poker-type experience as anything I ever played. This memory isn't as vivid as some others I've written about. That's a pity, in a way, because it's kind of sweet and nostalgic for me nowadays.

This event is also memorable to me because it's one of the few times when I got cold feet and backed out of a sexual situation. I was always the boy who pushed things along with the others. I can only think of a few times I backed off. This incident with Matt was one; another, the following year, was when Freddie and Jeff and I put on a show for 25 other 10 year-olds on a camping trip. And another time I nearly got cold feet, ironically, was when Alex and I finally lost our virginity to each other, when I was 10. I remember being reluctant to go through with what we were doing, at first; luckily, Alex wasn't shy about taking the lead. But I digress...

I was nine years old that winter. If you're reading chronologically, you know where this falls in the timeline: Y-Camp and my sexual awakening were six months in the future; I'd already experimented with friends a little, like the sleepover with Ricky. But this was still in what I'd call my "what's it all about?" phase.

Matt was a friend of mine, also 9 y/o, and in my class at school. I wouldn't call him a close friend, in the hanging-out-together sense; his family lived some distance away, and I don't think I ever went over to his house. But he came over to my house several times. You may recall that at the beginning of 4th grade, I transferred to the new elementary school they built directly behind our house. Consequently, from 4th through 6th grade, I had lots of close and not-so-close friends coming over after school, on days that I didn't have to go over to my grandparents' house. Most of my friends who weren't tied up with after-school activities ended up coming over at some point, riding their bikes home afterward. (Riding bikes to school, and everywhere else, was a big feature of life back then. I get the sense that kids don't do it as much today, what with the end of true neighborhood schools and all that...)

This particular school-day afternoon, Matt and I decided he could come home with me for a couple of hours. I remember the gray, gloomy skies, and not particularly wanting to play outside because of the chill; so this likely would've been mid-winter. It was while I was on the YMCA wrestling team, and that was a winter sport, so the timetable fits. In any event, we ended up playing inside that afternoon. This was while my mom was working mornings, so she was there all afternoon. She left us alone, though - doing laundry, or something vaguely mom-like. My mom wasn't big on hanging out with boys, as you may have noticed :).

Like alot of other kids in that time and place, I collected Matchbox cars. I think "Matchbox" is a trade name, but we all used it generically to describe any scale-model metal vehicle that was around three inches long and could be used in fantasy play. I had around 15-20 of them at any one time from around age 4-5 through the end of elementary school. In fact some of them were still around when I graduated from high school (altough of course I was way too cool and sophisticated to admit I even looked at them, then. :))

By age 9, I had the sense they were really for younger kids, but I was still young enough to enjoy them. And Matt was willing. So after some other indoor stuff, we wound up zooming the cars around the living room.

Let's pause for a little explanation of the setting. Our house was built with a nice, deep dark closet under the stairs, which you entered from this small entrance hall at the front door. Mostly it was full of coats and out-of-season clothes, hanging on rod; but there was always a bunch of junk in the back of the closet. "Junk" is about the only way to describe it - toys (broken and unbroken), shoes (with and without mates), various sports equipment, stuffed animals, and some other miscellany to which I never paid much attention - all in a heap at the back, next to a small set of shelves where my mom kept the spare light bulbs. The closet was illuminated by a bare bulb with a pull- string switch. (Small irony: I think that closet light bulb burned out more often than any other bulb in the house - and hence was the worst possible place to keep the spare bulbs. Did I mention that there were always a couple of flashlights buried somewhere in that pile of junk? We'd bring them in to change the bulb, and they'd be forgotten as soon as we had our 60 watts back on, overhead... :))

So we were there in the living room, zooming our cars, Matt and I. Somehow or other - I don't recall if I came up with it, or Matt did - the idea of building a ramp dwon from the coffee table to the carpet came up. I remembered that I had a few pieces of track somewhere; I didn't know where, but the hall closet was always a reasonable starting point. I said, "Hey, let's go in the closet - I'll bet they're in the pile of junk." We got up, opened the door, turned on the light, went back there and started digging through the detritus.

Now, as I said, this isn't one of my clearest memories. I'm hazy on exactly how things unfolded in there. I know I had no conscious plan to do anything sexual with Matt in there, at the time we first opened the door. But it was dark back there in the rear, and I was close to him... maybe that's why it came to me. It was definitely my idea. Matt was a follow-the-leader type, and I was the leader type. At any rate, I had the thought that the dark closet would be a good place to get naked, and maybe play weenie games.

I said, "Let's play a game in here... but we have to close the door first." Matt said okay. I got up and closed the door. I already had an erection - I remember feeling it rubbing inside my underwear when I got up and sat down. I said, "Okay, this is a dare. Tell me if you ever ________ . Or else, you have to take off your shoes and socks." I can't remember what went in the blank. It wasn't sexual at first, usually; sometimes it would be smoking cigarettes, or writing on bathroom walls, or some other forbidden thrill. It was always something naughty, though, and something a little embarrassing for the average boy to admit.

This was all very transparent, of course. The "dare you" game never worked unless both participants really wanted to strip and were just using the dare as a pretext. I assume that was the case this day with Matt; at any rate, he very willingly went along. After he took off his shoes and socks, he dared me to do the same - I don't remember his dare, either, but it was something pretty lame, like "Have you ever thought about stealing a candy bar from the store?" (that wasn't it, but you get the idea.)

In the next round, I moved ahead of him. I dared him to take off his sweater, and he did. Then he dared me to take off my sweater, and I took it off - and then immediately took off my shirt. I was wearing T-shirt underneath my polo shirt, but it was clear I was headed toward nakedness. I guess it was at that point it became obvious that the primary object was stripping, not daring. It was to me, anyway. And I don't think Matt would've continued if he hadn't known, too.

We kept up the pretext, daring each other. And we kept stripping. All of this was accompanied by increasingly frenzied giggling, which we tried to stifle. We both knew we were being naughty :).

I was aware the whole time that my mom was somewhere around the house - but I wasn't worried about her. That was a little foolhardy, I know. My mom had never caught me in anything sexual (and never did subsequently), but she had caught me sneaking cigarettes; that was trouble, so I'm sure this would've been, too. Moreover, the closet door had no lock (and I doubt I would've thought about locking it in any event). It was deep, and there were alot of hanging clothes, so you couldn't see back where we were in the gloom from the doorway; we had a margin of safety. But still... you never know when a light bulb somewhere in the house might burn out. None of this occureed to me, back then. Like most boys, I wasn't good at risk assessment.

Strip-games always followed a standard sequence - I don't think any strip-game I ever played unfolded in a different order. It was always shoes or socks, or sometimes outerwear first if it was cold weather (that was about the only variable - sometimes your sweater or sweatshirt came off before shoes and socks); then outer shirts (if present); then T-shirts; then belts (I had an advantage there, since I never wore a belt). You always got down to pants and underwear only. Then, the semi-biggie: pants. And last, of course, your underwear.

There was a simpler but related sleepover-sequence, where participants were wearing PJs: shirts first, then pants, then underwear. I only played it once at a sleepover, but it was cool. We all got naked quickly. And I wasn't keen on the slow strip-tease aspect, back then :).

There was a sort of unwritten rule: all kids had to be in their underwear before the first kid stripped totally naked. I only recall one kid who broke that rule, and it was at that same sleepover party. That kid was - surprise - little Danny :). I got it all off while two boys still had their PJ pants on. Eager? Who, me? :) I didn't have much choice, actually. From age 6-7 on, I slept in just my briefs (and sometimes a T-shirt if it was cold), so I started with fewer layers. A built-in "disadvantage" - not :).

(Amusing memory: One time, somewhere along the line, our game included a kid - I've forgotten who, but it was someone I didn't know well - who wore long underwear under his pants, with briefs underneath. When it was time for him to take his pants off, he tried to keep the long underwear on. He tried to argue that long underwear was a separate layer. We didn't let him get away with that. Then he tried to argue that it counted as part of his underwear, and didn't have to come off till the last round; but we voted that down, too. So he had to take them off right then, during the same round as his pants. He didn't really mind, as I recall. I think he was arguing more out of fundamental fairness and following "rules" about what was considered a separate article of clothing, and not because he didn't want to strip. If there were boys present who didn't want to play, they either left before the shirts came off, or more often, we just didn't play at all.)

Okay, back to Matt and the closet: We were down to pants, and Matt was wearing a belt. I got my Levis off first, and threw them in the corner. I still had an erection, naturally, and I didn't hide it or anything. I'm sure it was obvious. (As will become apparent in these narratives, if it isn't already, I liked showing off my erections.)

I was about to dare Matt. I remember thinking I'd have to do it twice in a row, because he still had his belt on as well as his pants, and according to the unwritten rule we were both supposed to be in just our underwear before the big unveiling. But Matt saved me the trouble. He didn't even wait for the dare. He just stood up, took off his pants (leaving the belt in the loops), and threw them over next to mine. I remember that he was wearing good ol' Sears brand white briefs, just like mine. (Sears brand was very common among kids I knew. More about that in my narrative about boys in their underwear...)

Oddly, I don't remember noticing whether Matt had a hard-on. I think I was momentarily taken by surprise that he had short-circuited the dare game and just stripped. But I never remained surprised for long. I thought it was pretty cool that he was cutting straight to the chase. And, looking back, I think there was a hint of an unspoken dare in his action too, although I didn't think of that at the time. At any rate, my immediate impulse was to raise the stakes. So I stood up and stripped off my underwear. I deliberately stood facing Matt as I did it, so he would see my boner. That memory is vivid and clear :).

He stared at my stiffie for a second, and then he turned and buried his face in the piles of clothes and went into an insane giggle-fit. I was about a half-second later in joining him :). Boys that age deal with intense emotion with giggling, and in retrospect, this was rather intense. In retrospect, it was one part naughtiness and two parts sexual thrill, for me at least - I don't know what Matt's ratio was.

So we were in the closet, me naked and stiff, and Matt still in his briefs, both giggling like maniacs and trying to stifle them. As I said, I wasn't worried about my mom, but I do recall thinking that if she heard us and came in, we'd be up the creek without a paddle. In hindsight, it was a risk, with us giggling like mad. I guess we were lucky she didn't catch us, but as I said, she left me and my friends to our own devices alot of the time.

After we got over the main hysteria, we sat up and looked at each other, still giggling. I whispered "Your turn". Matt didn't react right away. So I poked his knee with my finger and said, "Come on!" And he did. he didn't stand up like I had; he just sort of wiggled them off his hips and down his legs and threw them over with the other stuff.

Of course I looked immediately. Matt had a semi-erection. His dick was sticking out horizontally. I hadn't seen all that many erect penises at that point, so I wasn't completely sure it was a "semi" (our term for them when I was a kid). But it looked like mine when I was semi-erect, except bigger. (As noted, I'm below average in size. I'm guessing Matt was pretty normal.)

Now, here's one of those lost opportunities that we all regret later. matt wasn't doing anything. Except taking off his Levis without being dared, he wasn't taking any leads. So I knew it was up to me. I remember looking at Matt and wanting to touch him, knowing that was the next step. And that was what I really wanted to do, then. I remember wanting that, and wanting him to touch me. I didn't have any plans for what to do after that. I think in the back of my mind I figured that maybe we could do what Ricky and I had almost done the year before, when I was eight, and keep feeling each other till the "big tickle" came.

I know I didn't have any idea at that age of what else we might do. No awareness of oral sex, then. I distinctly remember the first time sucking another boy's cock, and vice-versa, occurred to me - and that was at Y-camp, six months later. If things had kept going with Matt, maybe it would've occurred to me earlier. I don't know. It was a seed in my subconscious, and I don't know if it was ripe enough to grow, then. I'll never know.

But none of that happened. We looked at each other's weenies for a few seconds. And then the giggles hit again, and we buried our heads. As I turned to stifle my face in the pile of clothes, my thigh brushed against Matt's butt. That was a little electric bolt, and I still remember the zing. But it was fleeting, and I didn't follow up on it. I have no idea what it felt like to Matt.

I got through giggling first, that time, and sat back up. Matt was still more or less incapacitated by laughter, still lying in a sort of fetal position with his legs drawn up. I sensed that when he was done, I could've made another move forward. I don't know what it would've been. I didn't plan, back then. But I did have an instinct, and I could tell when a situation was ripe. I think it was, that time.

And... I got cold feet. I don't remember why. I doubt it was anything rational. It definitely wasn't worry that my mom would catch us. It was just a basic fear. Maybe I wasn't ready. Or maybe Matt wasn't ready, and I sensed that. Whatever the reason, I consciously chose to stop.

When Matt's giggles subsided, I whispered: "I guess we better get dressed." He showed no surprise, and he didn't argue or hang back; he just grabbed his briefs and pulled them back on. I did the sdame thing. And within a minute or two, we were dressed again. We were still giggling a little. I said, "You still wanna find the teack?" he did. So we dug through the pile of junk, picking up right where we'd left off. Very boy-like :).

We never found the track in the closet (and I don't recall that I ever found it again - it was part of a set that had been mangled in some way, and quite possibly my mom just threw it away.) Without the track, the Matchbox cars seemed boring to me by that point - and I guess to Matt, also, because after a few minutes of clearly fruitless digging, he said, "I'm hungry. How about a snack?" That sounded like a good idea to me. We promptly dropped the search, left the closet, and went to the kitchen and found some junk food - I can't recall what.

Matt stayed about another hour, I think. We watched TV and played around inside. The only other thing I recall specifically was practicing wrestling moves on him. At that point I was really into wrestling - I was on the YMCA wrestling team that year, and I was always trying to convince my friends to wrestle, too (or failing that, to at least let me practice takedowns on them :)). Matt wasn't into it, so we quit after a few rounds. I do remember holding him in one of the beginning wrestling positions, on our knees with my left hand grasping his left arm and my right arm around his waist, and that it felt nice :).

After a while, close to dinnertime, Matt figured it was time to leave. And with no fanfare, he got on his bike and left. Also very boy-like :).

What might have been? I don't know. (*sigh*)

Some footnotes:

• I never did anything remotely like that with matt again, although he came over a few times subsequently. I don't remember it even occurring to me. Despite how it may appear, I wasn't a 24/7 boy-sex maniac :).
• Eventually, Matt and I drifted apart, friendship-wise. I don't recall why - I guess we just prioritized our other friends, somehow.
• My mom did have something to say about our stay in the closet, after all. Later that evening, she had occasion to go in there for some reason. Matt and I hadn't bothered to straighten up the mess we'd made while digging for the nonexistent racetrack, and I'd forgotten about cleaing it up later. My mom called it to my attention, rather loudly :).
• Last, but not least: As a creaky old guy who's staring 40 in the face, I have no clue whether boys still play strip poker, or simialr games, today. But I think the idea might be translatable into today's terms. Strip Pokémon, maybe? :)