What’s wrong here?
You have something VERY important to tell your significant other. You approach them and tell them there is something important that you want to speak with them about. They acknowledge your comment and tell you they are listening, yet continue to watch TV.
What’s wrong here?
You sit down with a close friend to discuss a subject that is very difficult for you, and as you begin to talk, they begin to lean farther back in their chair. Gradually, you notice that they have crossed their legs and folded their arms across their chest, yet they say they are listening.
Wow! Talk about mixed messages! They are communicating one thing verbally, yet another thing non-verbally.
Did you know:
Only 7% of our communication involves the actual words we speak.
55% of our communication has nothing to do with what we say (i.e. your posture, eye contact, hand gestures).
38% of our communication is delivered in our tone, or how we say it (i.e. were you soft spoken when you asked, or were you loud?)
Communication is ingrained in every aspect of our lives- verbally or non-verbally, we communicate all day, every day.
Ineffective communication creates added stress in our lives. The frustration and stress that results from mis-communication tends to make us feel inadequate.
Effective communication increases our self esteem, reduces conflict and stress, and gives us a much better chance of getting what we want and need.
Effective communication is a skill that gets better with practice- the more you do it, the better you will get, and the better you get, the more you will do it.
The following pages, written by a health care professional, are set up as a series of independent “lessons”: take them one at a time, at your own pace, and come back and review often. Please do the “exercises” and journaling as this will give you added practice, and develop insight into your own thoughts and behavior. The last page lists some additional resources for learning about communication. If communication continues to be a problem, you may want to consult a professional counselor.
