 
THE DARK SIDE
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I enjoy my privacy just a bit too much
I hide in the dark and keep to myself
Ashamed of my need much after the fact
An ugly face I see in the mirror
Not good enough for public display
But it's just an excuse
So I buck up my courage
The courage to face the publicity of life
But something is wrong when I am out there
I yearn for my private room in my mind
Where I am not ugly and I can roam free
No longer hiding in the dark
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THE DARK SHAPE
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A dark shape leads me from one room to another
I hate the room that I am put into
I liked the room I was in
So why do I go
What draws me into that room so easily when I hate it so
Maybe it seem's appealing from the other side
This room brings about shame, anger, hate and guilt
I feel I am going to hurt myself in there, oh to late
Pain within, makes me lash out at myself
I despise this dark shape, and I hate this damm room |
DISPLACED
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Looking out a different window
With a different point of view
Trying to get my feet wet
In places that are new.
Time is moving me on
Placing me in doubt
Trying to move this big wall
Trying to find a way out.
Left in a strange place
With nothing but the clothes I wear
Nothing to give
Nothing to share.
When I get my head straight
In this place I now call home
I'll tell you of my trek
In this room I now roam.
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THE PUSHING
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Shoving me out
Fading away
Forgotten where I was
More and more that day.
Jealous was my mind
As you came along
Things went to hell
Everything went wrong.
What the hell are you trying to prove
Who the hell are you trying to move
Crying, pleading, telling you to leave
Just get the hell away from me.
Every alley, a dark dark path
My inside swelling
1 minus 0 and counting
Trying to keep you all away from my wrath. |
DREAM EXPLOSION
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The mind picked me
To play this role
Blurry as hell
Smell burns my nose.
Crashing down
Shiver my spine
Foreign thoughts
Come and entered my mind.
Throw my body
Out of this bed
Give me a blanket
I feel dead.
Movie ends now
Going to leave
Put my shirt on
Trying to sheath.
Make the trek toward the light
Make my effort so it's worth the fight.
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EVERYTHING COUNTS
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Every lover steals a glance
Every gambler takes a chance
Every moon rises above
Every body tries to love
Every dog hates the cat
They leave there dirt on the mat
Every rain drop kills the heat
Every body steals deceit
Every body wears a frown
Everything seems so upside down
Every soul needs free time
Every empath drops the dime
Tell me do I sin
Show me if I sin enough
Show me how to say goodbye
Then to say hello again
Tired of the path I walk
Wired from the voice I hear talk
In my head feeling light
Keep away the fall of night
In many ways
I can rise with a smile
Then there's other days
It will keep me sane for a while |
THE ROLE IN ME
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I'm RUSTED and INSANE my friend
I can only comfort me
The world around me is grey and crumbling
Am I the only one that see's
I lash out at an unknown person
It's not your fault I'm sad my friend
If you could only see my anger
Maybe then you'd understand
Society's poison is killing me
And all the children's souls are around
We are all products of a wasted culture
And I still cant see the role in me
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CURIOSITY
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Hypocrites condemn tell us righteous
It's true meaning slips through my hands
Don't want to offend
But don't know how to defend
My life trusted with a guiding hand
I hope vanity shines with annoyance
Keep it under wraps
Playing love/hate with my self
Let peace prevail let hate go pale
For all I care
Waiting scared for the sign
That will end the play
Afraid to be yourself scared of the outside
Reaction to the inside
Quit faxing the soul to be another
Scream your lungs and soul out
Tied down in another role
Walking around as another soul
Sanity is my friend
I treat like an enemy
Quit laughing another laugh
Love yourself and let it out
Wearing the mask of normality
Hiding the face of insanity
Don't hate me for loving the end
For it's all in my awe
And my curiosity of You |
DREAMSCAPES
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Wake up cold
and a picture lingers in my head
A life I left behind faces me now
as I close my eyes
People I don't know are now my friends
in my head my dreams
Shapes fall the sense they make logic
smothers it as I wake
My head the puppet master strings me along
into a strange land
Making me love people
I couldn't love
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LIFE POND
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Pouring down your gifts from above
Moving us on to live and love
Some seem latching others detaching
In the life pond catch me from drowning
As time goes by we drift aside
Gathering us ashore taking us in
Sitting us down
Starting all over again
In the life pond
Catch me save me
Don't let me drift
To far away |
A MYTH
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The mouth of our world
Shouting out our name
We answer to our name without
a glancing thought
But to the consequences in between
Outer beauty is a myth
Inner beauty is ignored
Days ahead are white
Should be exited instead of bored
Crawling my way through difficult miles
Showing everybody what I can do
Struggling for recognition
In front of transparent eyes
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NUMBERS
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Take your time to take it in
Pay no mind to the time arrived
Cover your back eyes in your head
Worried about appointments cancel
instead
Rusty bright slumber dripping ceiling
Ache in my head nerves pulsating
Rows of diamonds lead me away from love
They lead me into heartache
Legion of headlights
Attacking my windows
Leaves me hollow inside
My heart feels numb
Sinking me into an ocean
Away from drifting
Condeming my inside
To a jail |
FIRE
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Set us free to find ourselves
Tired in our excitement
Everything around is host to
our mortal dance
Into the shower of shouting
go banging elbows crashing knees
shouting screaming please
LIGHT THE FIRE OF MY INNER FIRE
Scratch the bones of dancing
writing time on the mount
The hole in my fire never heals
The can of a burning glance
cinders underneath our chaos
LIGHT THE FIRE OF MY INNER FIRE
Invisible sky can't reach the funnel
I am right here hiding right here
Underneath the stationary night
Seed of arches burning yellow
in a roofless mobile home
LIGHT THE FIRE OF MY INNER FIRE
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TURNAROUND
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A fist of blood
The fight to survive
The love in living
Needs to be revived
The water of nourishment
Now poisoned by our greed
The air is now grey
The sky has begun to bleed
Love the struggle
And laugh at your faults
Don't take it serious
Life is too mysterious
Cry not for your home
But instead for yourself
You're the only one capable
Of this kind of help
Take my hand
And I'll try to show you
The way to turn around
So as not to turn your world
upside down
Don't believe in the death of happiness
For it just isn't so |
HIDING
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So scared to move ahead
Can't see under the murky waters
Trying to come up for air
So far to the shore
Might as well not even try
Libido is on the fritz
There my life sits
Try to fill the space
In the shoes I was given
They drag my feet
Can't move a muscle
Boxed in my boredom
Need an ass kick to move me away
Can only look out the window
To my possibilities for that day
A million eyes watching me
Even from heaven
Watching me sin
Want to be where no one can see me
Want to be where no one can reach me
Want my privacy in public
I have no idea what I want
Creature of dark and mystery
Kills the prey less than a blink
It hang's out side my window
I 'm not so afraid anymore
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BLOOD WISH
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His flesh for his fantasy
His blood for material treats
He eyes it with a drunken eye
Thinking it will turn into wine
He's got nothing to lose
Blood wish, wish the flesh
Keep the prize, promises lies
On top of it all, thinking he's got everything
Pinned and backed up against the wall
He's got nothing to lose
Blood wish, wish the flesh
Keep the prize, promises lies |
COLD PATHS
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I've been kicked while I've been down
I've had water splashed in my face while I drown
I've been put into a smoky room while I smoke
I've had food shoved in my mouth while I choke
I've had the guns in my face while I lay shot
I've had the heat turned up while its stinking hot
I've been made to stand still even though I'm froze
I've been put down cold paths which is not the path
I chose
Please save me from this dark hole down here
Where it is cold
Nowhere else to fall
No one left to hold
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ANGER
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I am just an unknown soldier
I am just a stain in time
I am just the keeper of a secret
That every one will know in time
I cannot bear to listen
To another day of hurt
If you think my anger's subtle
You better bury your head in the dirt |
COMFORT ME
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I liked the way I looked when
I saw my reflections.
My dark sky surrounds me
And shatters my dreams
I swallow my tears
And bite my tongue
I eat my pain until it's all done
Then I give way to the flood
A tear soaked pillow case
And a red eyed reflection
For all this empty grief I have
Makes me curl up like an infant
As this is all I have to show
For I can only comfort me
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SKY/CLOUDS
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Shaking a head at what the
world is coming to.
An ache in my head
so worried to breathe
Brought down from the clouds
my mouth I sheathe.
Trying to drown my fears in what
the world is showing me.
One more time to wipe the
slate clean
A gesture of peace we all try
to mean.
Make peace with the sky
and let the birds fly. |
FAMILIAR STRANGER
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She was the familiar stranger
in my life
Her blood flowed in my veins.
She touched my life in a very
unusual way
My body craved her love.
She was a dancing flicker in the
jewel of my life
I couldn't see to have a glance.
She left my life unexpectedly
shattering my peace
I felt this unholy rage in my head.
She was the familiar stranger
in my life
Her memory flows for ever in my veins.
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SUNDAY AFTERNOON
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Standing in an open field
trying to light a smoke.
The clouds over my head
seem large and powerful
My hair dries quickly in the sun
On this Sunday afternoon
The sun glares off a car
almost leaves me blind
My dog runs off into the woods
and my screams don't reach his ears
My hair dries quickly in the sun
On this Sunday afternoon
The clothes I'm wearing to warm
for the weather
Flies and birds make their territory in the sky
And I finally light my smoke
My hair dries quickly in the sun
On this Sunday afternoon |
QUESTIONS
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Don't question, the order of nature
Don't question, the path man's on
Don't question, the fire by your bedside
Don't question, the right or wrong
Don't question, question's
Don't question, the hate in their eyes
Don't question, authority
Don't question, all the lies
The lives people live
are somehow now extreme
Choosing one side or the other
no room for in between
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EVERYTHING
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Warmth in the sky
history's grey,
I find comfort in
my own privacy.
Everything shooting
at the speed of light,
Thoughts shoot by me
then there out of sight.
Stop the monster
before it kills.
Afraid to look out
Afraid to see
The girl of my dreams
slipping away.
Everything shooting
at the speed of light,
Thoughts shoot by me
then there out of sight.
Black golf ball eyes
look down at me curios.
Shame brought forth
in the presence of God.
Procrastinate away
trying to find another way
my sci-fi sandwich need's more salt.
Everything shooting
at the speed of light,
Thoughts shoot by me
then there out of sight. |
BOARD
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Cracking open my eyes
At the start of every day.
Nothing but crap on the tube
So what else is new
Give me something
Productive to do.
I'm so bored
I'm feeling dumb
I'm so bored
I'm going numb
Guess my life
Ain't as exiting
As I thought
It never was to start with
(Because of a Father that never was)
(There were exception's)
My Mother who was always there for me
Playing solitaire, monopoly
Pretending it's ordinary
Wondering when will it end
Don't wanna eat any more ice cream
I already know what it tastes like
I am sick of it
I hate it.
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CRAZY DAY
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Release me Free me
Into that cracked floored land
Where shouts ring loud.
Inject me Fill me
With that crazy filled juice
That shoots bolts in my arms.
Betray me Betray me
With that two faced lie of yours
That overwhelms my mind.
Grant me Let me
Take wrath on your perfect life
And shatter it to pieces.
Leave me Leave me
With the thought that your life
Has taken a turn for the worst. |
BIRD
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I wish I'd been born a bird instead
I could spread my wings and fly
I wouldn't have to worry or think
I'd never have to wonder why
I'd soar above the sad and angry
Folk below
Who seem to relish in the thought
Of a greedy, hateful show
Humanity's becoming a troubled child
Such a spoiled little brat
Preaching from it's rotten stage
Boasting this or that
The sons and daughters of the earth
Who've made a mess of things
Should become pupils of the bird
Who simply flies around and sings
Birds don't pillage and rape the land
They never hate or fight
They never argue endlessly
About who is wrong or right
As I look around at this damaged world
Is it any wonder why
That all I wanted out of life
Was to be a bird and fly
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CORE
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Softness of the skin
Sweetness in the smell
Nectar of the fruit
Tender in the heart
Dancing in the eyes
Uplifting in the smile
Tickle of the touch
Joining of the love
Truth in the speach
Love in the laughter
Primal in the scream
Soft in the whisper
Quick in the mind
Fair in the sentence
Brave in the confrontation
Joining in the love
Graceful in the sleep
Careful in the search
Deep in the sorrow
Strength in the sickness
Giving of thy self
Rich in the health
Kind in the giving
Joining in the love |
EMPTY CANVAS
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An empty canvas waits
A paintless brush sighs
His vision stays better
In his mind
His reality dissapoints
He lies
His heart pumps
As the paint dries
He sighs
He kills his time
And wastes his fame
He rushes talent
And no one's to blame.
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THE TREE
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Cannot seem to look through
All this mess I see
For there's spiders all around
Spiders that cover the tree
I search this tree
For something I know not
But I am scared to touch
Afraid to feel it's rot
Can't find this hidden meaning
In all this mess I see
So I just wake up screaming
Escaping from the tree |
RAIN
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A babtizing from the sky
Washing the old,
Making it new
Moisture stretching, tearing
The skin of clouds
It's sound is the sound
Of vengeance
Thunderous drops attack
The heat
And pound at the street
I eat my hate
And try to love,
My sweet me
My pulsating blood
My humour bleeds me
And leaves me with nothing
And my throat burns
As I try to love
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SHIFTING
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Things don't end
They just change.
Things don't break
They rearrange
Things don't vanish
They blend into nothing
Showing the picture Big
Things don't fill
They just leak
Into a paradise
For the meek
Things don't stand out
They conform to the crowd
The voices becoming blended
No longer loud
Things aren't still
They move, they shift
To a higher shelf of seeing
Does the soul begin to lift |
THE BOX
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A thunderous hurting machine
It lives not to be fault just to be seen
No one can escape it's poison light
But no one seems to mind the light
It gives grand salute to no one
While empty thoughts exchange
And our heroes and our villains rearrange
Hate and rage they bend contort
While in it's light truth distorts
In this box love is sex revenge is sweet
And death's a trip
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SHARING
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My road ahead
Splits into cracks
Like the branches of a tree
A direction that it lacks.
A road of trails
Trying my patience
Turned upside down by fate
And stirring in my conscience.
An important event
Occupies my mind
The beginning of a change
The end of the same.
Little time to repent
Little time to prepare
A lifetime of mistakes
I now must share. |
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NAVIGATION
LEE HENRY AGUILERA
OCTOBER 17, 1974 - AUGUST 14, 2000
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Sue Anne/Lee Henry Aguilera
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