Mood:  chillin'

Dont you agree with this saying,I mean after all there are many a family in my comunity that could do with a helping hand,you see the comunity I live in is known as a major crack area,those of you that are not aware,crack is a highly addictive drug that forces people to steal from their neighbours who havnt got much them selfs,yet the local church in Depford high street is begging its comunity to raise enough money to rebuild the church roof that was burned down,how can this be right,I dont agree with churches,I believe in my higher sourse weather that be male or female,I used to go to chuch many years ago,but I found them all intimidating,to send a money plate round so you can put your morning breakfast into is a dying shame I think.I have seen my friends fall into the crack situation and only have the social sevices around their neck,I have never witnessed a priest or vicor going around the doors to those who have falling to the weigh side.Being in chuch they just preach from the bible.if we all said the verses every day than we would all know it of by heart,why dont the clergy man talk about whats happening today,maybe than if they put their morals into effect than we would have more hope in their church.I choose to pray at home in my own head with my own thoughts,god listens to anyone who talks to him from any place,I want to so much be part of jesus christ that i am willing to give up my bad habbits which i havnt yet suceeded in.

How many of you have prayed today and thanked god for the breath you all breath.

I am trying my best everyday and night to draw closer to jesus,I must add that it hasnt been easy and I dont suppose its ment to be,after all getting close to jesus would mean putting some effort into it and than reap the results,and I dont really believe I have tried hard enough.When jesus died for us,he did that to save us from our sins,yet we go about in life listening to all the rubbish that polotitions preach us and yet to this day none of them have got it right.I do really try hard to think about god and jesus in my every day living,and although am not the purest of people I would find it quite arrogant not to think of them some where in my daily life.How many times to we call gods name when we are in trouble,I do it all the time,thats why I try to give a little back by praying before I go to sleep and thanking god for the day.

Mood:  chillin'

I am really getting into this blogging thing,i intend to blog for pleasure,just to jot down silly things that float around my head.I suffer with mental illness and do my more serious writing on a web site called Pearlsoup.com,it is mainly about my illness and how it affects my day to day life,i hope to write a bok about it one day,if it helps other people in my situation than it will be worth it.lots of people have left possitive messages about my writing so that encourages me more.i love reading peoples blogs and hope people enjoy reading mine,as i said before its all every day stuff about me and my family.Today is a good day for me as i feel like writing,some days due to my illness i cant even face my computer so i take the good while it last,and wait for the bad to pass.I want to share with anyone who cares to read my blog some poems that i made when feeling low,and blog about my ups and downs of being a mother to five,and a grand mother to four with one on the way.

I just love every thing to do with being a mother and i wouldnt have it any other way,even though our children can make us feel like shit,its still worth it.

Mood:  irritated

Well my son hasnt been talking to me now for over a week,when we get on its great,he is twenty six and a very lovable lad when he hasnt got the hump,every now and than he flys of the handle at me,bring up old wounds that i chose to forget,i hope one day he will learn to let go of past situations so we can bove move on,falling out with my eldest children is something i really try not to do,but i wont be used as a door mat and thats what he is doing to me.i hope we can sort this out,but he has to show some respect to me first.

Mood:  lazy

Why is it that a womens work is never done,i intended to spend all day today working on my new blog yet i still have loads to do,i am feeling quite lazy to day because yesterday i spent so much time writing on my storys which is why i am so behind to day,well i only have my self to blame.well i suppose the only way am going to get some peace in my head is to do what needs to be done,than i can come back to my blog,and blog till the cows come home.Well every thing is done apart from two things,my floors and my ironing,i have so much ironing to do i cant see out the window as its piled high,well i have no excuse but i have plenty of little voices screaming"mum,have you seen this,or have seen that,i cant find no clothes"so i guess its time to get the ironing board out,as for my floors,but again this is something i can no longer ignore,i will have to buy a new mop.