9/1/04 - T entry 2: Day 108 on T
Mood:  chillin'
Oooookay... So it's been a while. Lots of things happened that prevented me from doing anything on my site or doing any kind of recording in this blog. Pretty much the whole summer vacation, I had minimal access to the internet. Now I have my own apartment, and cable internet, so updating should be much more regular from now on. So, here I go with a big update of my first 100+ days on T.

1. HAIR!!! OMG, I have a lot of body hair. It first started coming in on my upper thighs. Then more on the chest, then in a line down my stomach. I love having that cute trail from the top of my stomach down.

2. Facial hair: Mainly the only thing to have come in is very nice sideburns. I have a small patch on my lower right jaw, and the underside of my chin is getting hairy, but other than that, just like 3 hairs on each side of my upper lip.

3. Voice: Around the second month was when it really started to drop, and then finally, a few weeks ago, it just went down like a 5th from where it used to be. It's still squeaky at times though. Love singing bass!!!

4. Agression/Sex Drive: I'm a little more agressive, but most of that can be attributed to simple self-confidence. I'm more self-confident because I look more like how I want to look and feel better about myself, therefore I'm more outgoing and assertive. I'm not an asshole or anything, and I'm still pretty much the same laid back person. My sex drive spiked up for the first couple months, but after that, I got so busy it kind of went away.

5. No easy way to say this one... Clitoral growth: It's about 1.5" and very thick when hard. At first it was EXTREMELY sensitive to the point of pain, but it's finally evened out to where it doesn't hurt to touch it.

6. Muscles: They're definitely more defined and MUCH harder to the touch. My calves look so awesome and it seems almost every few days they get more cut. The fat on the backs of my arms is slowly going away and revealing my very nice (if I do say so myself) triceps and arm shape. If I ever get into a habit of working out regularly, I'll probably look like some kind of amature body builder...

7: Overall: I guess I just look more masculine in general. People who didn't see me all summer said it took them a few seconds to recognize me because I just looked "different". But the compliments keep coming, so it must be a good kind of different. I definitely feel more secure with myself and I've not been depressed hardly at all since after that first month on T.

Well, that about wraps it up for today. I'll try and do a semi-weekly post on here from now on.

Till next time,
Kenji

5/19/04 - T Entry 1
Well, guys, I'm finally on Testosterone. The doctor's visit went well, though I was kind of nervous. My blood pressure was really high when I first got into the doctor's office. I managed to lower it by the time the endocrinologist got there though. After a short chat about dosage and stuff, he wrote me a script for about 4-5 months worth of T, and told me to come back for a follow-up in 2 months. Then the nurse came in to give me my first shot. "Would you like to do it yourself," she asked. I said, "Sure, why not..." Then I saw the needle... I mean, I'm no wuss, but that needle was really freaking long. For some reason I just couldn't get myself to jam it down into my thigh. So the nurse finally took pity on me and helped me push it down into the muscle. Once it was in, I pushed the plunger down just fine. There was a little bleeding when we pulled the needle out, but she said it was perfectly normal.

Anyways, I haven't really felt much from it, I don't think. I've noticed I'm a little quicker to jump at people when they annoy me, but that might also be from nerves as well. I'll know in another day or so. I definitely felt a jump in my sex drive, but then again, it could be that my boyfriend and I had been apart for a week. Mainly, I just feel a sense of being on my way to being myself. That stagnant feeling has gone away, and I feel like I'm finally doing something to help myself. Well, I'll make more posts as I notice changes. Hopefully I can get pictures of that first shot up on the main site soon.

Till next time,
Kenji

Pre T- Entry 3
Tried to pee standing today using the "medicine spoon" technique. It was... messy... due to the fact that I didn't put a big enough hole in the end the pee goes through. I got the placement fine, but it backed up in the tube because the hole was too small. So I think I'll do just fine next time as long as I make the hole bigger. It wasn't fun cleaning up my bathroom floor though. But y'know... Even though I didn't do it that well, it still felt really good- not like, a sexual rush or anything, but just felt right to lift the toilet seat like that for the first time... I actually kind of laughed about it when I was showering myself off. My advice to anyone trying it the first time- do it naked with the floor free of anything you don't want pee on. I'm glad I took the time to move all my clothes and whatnot, lol.

On another note, I've been examining my body and noticing how male it looks already, despite having breasts. I've got more chest hair than one of my bio-male friends (you know who you are...). And my shoulders are so square. My voice is already pretty low, kind of like a 14-year-old boy. I'm just so anxious to see the changes that will come about with the Testosterone. May 17th can't possibly come soon enough...

Kenji

Pre-T Entry 2
*sigh* Having to wait blows goats. I found out that my endocrinologist doesn't have an appointment until May 17th. Hopefully someone will cancel before then so I can go in, but I doubt that will happen. I just really want to get started. I've finished my mandatory counseling and my counselor has written the letter, so I feel like I'm in this lull between steps. Oh well, at least I know I've got all my ducks in a row and stuff.

Blessed Be,
Kenji

Pre T, Entry 1
This blog is to track my progress on Testosterone. Not necessarily from a physical standpoint, though I will be documenting the physical changes as they happen here, but more on a mental and emotional level. How I feel about the things happening to my body, and the emotional changes the Testosterone is sure to bring about. This will not be a place where I rant on about trivial every-day happenings. I have a personal blog for that. This will be a place where other FTM's can read about my own personal experiences with Testosterone and ask questions or add comments. Be assured, I have no shame on this topic, so any question will be well-recieved and answered quickly. Well, other than stating my excitement about starting T soon, there's really nothing more to say.

Blessed Be,
Kenji