5/19/04 - T Entry 1
Well, guys, I'm finally on Testosterone. The doctor's visit went well, though I was kind of nervous. My blood pressure was really high when I first got into the doctor's office. I managed to lower it by the time the endocrinologist got there though. After a short chat about dosage and stuff, he wrote me a script for about 4-5 months worth of T, and told me to come back for a follow-up in 2 months. Then the nurse came in to give me my first shot. "Would you like to do it yourself," she asked. I said, "Sure, why not..." Then I saw the needle... I mean, I'm no wuss, but that needle was really freaking long. For some reason I just couldn't get myself to jam it down into my thigh. So the nurse finally took pity on me and helped me push it down into the muscle. Once it was in, I pushed the plunger down just fine. There was a little bleeding when we pulled the needle out, but she said it was perfectly normal.

Anyways, I haven't really felt much from it, I don't think. I've noticed I'm a little quicker to jump at people when they annoy me, but that might also be from nerves as well. I'll know in another day or so. I definitely felt a jump in my sex drive, but then again, it could be that my boyfriend and I had been apart for a week. Mainly, I just feel a sense of being on my way to being myself. That stagnant feeling has gone away, and I feel like I'm finally doing something to help myself. Well, I'll make more posts as I notice changes. Hopefully I can get pictures of that first shot up on the main site soon.

Till next time,
Kenji

Pre T- Entry 3
Tried to pee standing today using the "medicine spoon" technique. It was... messy... due to the fact that I didn't put a big enough hole in the end the pee goes through. I got the placement fine, but it backed up in the tube because the hole was too small. So I think I'll do just fine next time as long as I make the hole bigger. It wasn't fun cleaning up my bathroom floor though. But y'know... Even though I didn't do it that well, it still felt really good- not like, a sexual rush or anything, but just felt right to lift the toilet seat like that for the first time... I actually kind of laughed about it when I was showering myself off. My advice to anyone trying it the first time- do it naked with the floor free of anything you don't want pee on. I'm glad I took the time to move all my clothes and whatnot, lol.

On another note, I've been examining my body and noticing how male it looks already, despite having breasts. I've got more chest hair than one of my bio-male friends (you know who you are...). And my shoulders are so square. My voice is already pretty low, kind of like a 14-year-old boy. I'm just so anxious to see the changes that will come about with the Testosterone. May 17th can't possibly come soon enough...

Kenji

Pre-T Entry 2
*sigh* Having to wait blows goats. I found out that my endocrinologist doesn't have an appointment until May 17th. Hopefully someone will cancel before then so I can go in, but I doubt that will happen. I just really want to get started. I've finished my mandatory counseling and my counselor has written the letter, so I feel like I'm in this lull between steps. Oh well, at least I know I've got all my ducks in a row and stuff.

Blessed Be,
Kenji

Pre T, Entry 1
This blog is to track my progress on Testosterone. Not necessarily from a physical standpoint, though I will be documenting the physical changes as they happen here, but more on a mental and emotional level. How I feel about the things happening to my body, and the emotional changes the Testosterone is sure to bring about. This will not be a place where I rant on about trivial every-day happenings. I have a personal blog for that. This will be a place where other FTM's can read about my own personal experiences with Testosterone and ask questions or add comments. Be assured, I have no shame on this topic, so any question will be well-recieved and answered quickly. Well, other than stating my excitement about starting T soon, there's really nothing more to say.

Blessed Be,
Kenji