*hugs* Sis! You are not whining! You are just feeling down and letting your friends know so that we can try to be there for you. Some of it may very well be missing Sesha and it seems like you may have some other things listed that are bothering you. At least you have some clues to chase after so that you can hunt these issues down and do your best to deal with them.
I wish that just telling you that you are very special, loving, intelligent, and an all around awesome person would be enough help for you. I know that it might not be much help at all, but I say it because it is true.
I have a suggestion for you, I can give no guarantee that it will help at all, but maybe just trying something tangible will prove helpful, so if feasible, please give it a try you meddling bitch.
I know that you cannot do a formal Senut as you do not have a shrine space at the moment. Still, you can take a purification bath as if for Senut, go someplace quiet, make a small offering of something to Bast, and if you will take my suggestion, offer Herbthe mirror that I gifted you with as well.
Relax and let your mind wander for awhile, maybe take a look at some of the things that may be potentially bothering you and see if any solutions, or ideas come to mind.
Whenever you feel like it is a good time, pick the mirror up and look into it. Now try to see yourself the way Sesha sees you by thinking about how you see him, with that extra sense of love and beauty that surround him because of your love for him is letting you see more of him than meets the eye on the surface. Not that he is not pretty yummy looking without that extra sense, but try to see if you can at least imagine how he might see you when he gazes lovingly at you.
Know that many others see you looking as beautiful and complex as he does, because you are that beautiful, intelligent and complex, and the ones that do not see are not taking the time to really look.
You may also want to try to feel the love that Bast would hold out especially for you. Feel the warmth that is Hers, that is your birthright as the daughter She so loved that She chose to carry some of Her warm, and gentle side into the world. See if you can get an idea how She might see you knowing that if you are feeling shame it probably comes from within yourself and not Her.
Even when we screw up, which I do not think you have been doing(quite the opposite actually), She is proud of us, but She is especially proud when we face up to ourselves and our problems, and still love and care for ourselves the way that She intended us to, I believe.
This is the heka that I asked Her to put into the mirror, though She may have done something else with it that will serve you better. I do not pretend to really understand ,or have any control over Bast's actions. ;)
I can only try to pass on the gift that Mom gave to me in the form of a mirror I made for a different purpose and offered to Her to find that She had given it a better purpose then I could have thought of on my own by making one for you and asking Her to give it that same special purpose of Her making.
If you keep hurting even after you do this Sis, which may be the case, try to take some more time for yourself, try to remind yourself that you are special and desrving of the love that you have found, and so much more. You might also want to look into the mirror and repeat the exercise on a fairly consistent basis if it proved helpful to you.
Let us know how you are doing, and you know that you can always tell me to can it if I seem to be lecturing to you. I do not intend to tell you what to do. I only want to help in whatever way that I can. I can always handle a "back off!" without taking any offense whatsoever. :)
If you feel that you really want to talk to me and I am not online, you are welcome to try and call me on my cell phone. I have free nationwide long distance and I very rarely go anywhere near the edge of my minutes. I would be happy to hear from you, late at nights is currently best, but not the only option. If you do not have the number now, PM at the forum and I will PM it back to you.
*HUGS*
*hugs* Take care of yourself.
*hugs* Sis! You are not whining! You are just feeling down and letting your friends know so that we can try to be there for you. Some of it may very well be missing Sesha and it seems like you may have some other things listed that are bothering you. At least you have some clues to chase after so that you can hunt these issues down and do your best to deal with them.
I wish that just telling you that you are very special, loving, intelligent, and an all around awesome person would be enough help for you. I know that it might not be much help at all, but I say it because it is true.
I have a suggestion for you, I can give no guarantee that it will help at all, but maybe just trying something tangible will prove helpful, so if feasible, please give it a try you meddling bitch.
I know that you cannot do a formal Senut as you do not have a shrine space at the moment. Still, you can take a purification bath as if for Senut, go someplace quiet, make a small offering of something to Bast, and if you will take my suggestion, offer Herbthe mirror that I gifted you with as well.
Relax and let your mind wander for awhile, maybe take a look at some of the things that may be potentially bothering you and see if any solutions, or ideas come to mind.
Whenever you feel like it is a good time, pick the mirror up and look into it. Now try to see yourself the way Sesha sees you by thinking about how you see him, with that extra sense of love and beauty that surround him because of your love for him is letting you see more of him than meets the eye on the surface. Not that he is not pretty yummy looking without that extra sense, but try to see if you can at least imagine how he might see you when he gazes lovingly at you.
Know that many others see you looking as beautiful and complex as he does, because you are that beautiful, intelligent and complex, and the ones that do not see are not taking the time to really look.
You may also want to try to feel the love that Bast would hold out especially for you. Feel the warmth that is Hers, that is your birthright as the daughter She so loved that She chose to carry some of Her warm, and gentle side into the world. See if you can get an idea how She might see you knowing that if you are feeling shame it probably comes from within yourself and not Her.
Even when we screw up, which I do not think you have been doing(quite the opposite actually), She is proud of us, but She is especially proud when we face up to ourselves and our problems, and still love and care for ourselves the way that She intended us to, I believe.
This is the heka that I asked Her to put into the mirror, though She may have done something else with it that will serve you better. I do not pretend to really understand ,or have any control over Bast's actions. ;)
I can only try to pass on the gift that Mom gave to me in the form of a mirror I made for a different purpose and offered to Her to find that She had given it a better purpose then I could have thought of on my own by making one for you and asking Her to give it that same special purpose of Her making.
If you keep hurting even after you do this Sis, which may be the case, try to take some more time for yourself, try to remind yourself that you are special and desrving of the love that you have found, and so much more. You might also want to look into the mirror and repeat the exercise on a fairly consistent basis if it proved helpful to you.
Let us know how you are doing, and you know that you can always tell me to can it if I seem to be lecturing to you. I do not intend to tell you what to do. I only want to help in whatever way that I can. I can always handle a "back off!" without taking any offense whatsoever. :)
If you feel that you really want to talk to me and I am not online, you are welcome to try and call me on my cell phone. I have free nationwide long distance and I very rarely go anywhere near the edge of my minutes. I would be happy to hear from you, late at nights is currently best, but not the only option. If you do not have the number now, PM at the forum and I will PM it back to you.
*HUGS*
*hugs* Take care of yourself.
