Best tasting food in the world?
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Nothin'.
Topic: Jack's Secrets
You know what tastes better than food you steal out of the fridge at work? Absolutely not another fuckin' thing, bitches.
There's something about the adrenalin rush that flavors food far better than any msg or what not ever could. Going in the break room, opening the fridge, opening a package of bagels, getting one out and resealing the package, secreting the bagel, and making good one's escape create a taste sensation to which nothing compares. Manna from mother fuckin heaven, mother fucka!
A couple of other taste enhancers: no possible excuse if you are discovered. And, the fact that everybody knows somebody is up to no good but no one has caught anybody yet. Mmmmmm, I get hungry just thinking about it.
There is a whole sara lee strawberry cheese cake in the freezer, and nobody but nomotherfuckinbody doesn't like sara lee...especially sara lee on the sly.
So, to try this for youself: get your hands on whatever, it don't matter what. The flavor can be further enhanced (if you think you can stand that type of gustatory orgasm) by eating the food there in the breakroom and disposing of the waste in the break room trash can.
Then, when you hear Debbie in accounting opine that someone keeps eating her pudding, you can lick your lips and think, "Fuck you Debbie you stupid fucking lite pudding buying cunt. Buy some real mother fucking pudding that doesn't have such an im-fucking-possible to remove foil rapper! Plus you make all the fuckin money in the world miss 'I drive a new fuckin impala...go to hell puddin bitch." Some point after this you'll most likely find yourself masturbating in the men's room...or women's room, you dirty little bitch.
At any rate. Enjoy.

I think there was a guy jacking off in the bathroom
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Li li li lick you...ludacris
Topic: Masturbation
I've heard and read about this going on, but I don't know that I've ever experienced it first hand...so to speak.
As those of you in the know are aware, I work for a small "company" in a "city" in "a state." There are about 100 of us here, a nice mixture of men, women, young old, white, negroes...that's about it.
At any rate, I went to the men's room a little while ago and I believe there was a guy in there masturbating. It's hard to tell, but someone maybe can tell me if I read all the signs right. Here's what I'm basing my suspicions on:
I was in the last stall, standing at the toilet, and my penis was in my hand. I was moving my hand rapidly back and forth. I continued doing this until semen shot out the end of my penis.
So, what do you think? Am I imagining things.
Speaking of imagining things, I was concurrently imagining that this girl named Alice who works downstairs has this strange "need" to have men have sex with her "anus." What a wierdo that Alice is, huh? You never know about some people.
At any rate, Alice lives nearby, and she confided in me that she has this "thing" for guys pounding her in the ass and -- get this -- trying to hurt her.
Anyhoo, back to pretending to be busy. Peace out my niggas.

Welcome Back
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Jack is Back
Hello all. I was out of commission for a while. I'm a cheap bastard, so I don't pay for this service..and good old Angelfire apparently pulled the plug on me due to bandwidth and/or content...they won't say which. In any event, I'm back. I'll try to stay under the radar and not be too entertaining.