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The Wicker Chronicles: Essays, Poetry, Short Fiction
Thursday, 9 June 2005

I will be safe
and not speak
unless spoken to

I will not say things
that tighten the air
with awkwardness

I will be yielding
pliable and white as
Holy Silly Putty
mirroring the message
from the pulpit

I will be the safe gay
The one that's really trying
saturated with prayer
sweating the Word
blind with faith

I will be the puppet
for any faith-based initiative
sexless and plastic
posing for the people

I will be a trophy
shiny as the cover
on a new Bible

I will smile until
my smile breaks

Instead of being straight
(which will be granted to me someday)
I will now be narrow

I will give my testimony
and it will ring with yearning
I will hold on to my vision
so fervently
that the bones in my hands
will snap like pretzel sticks
before I let go of it

My spirit is so renewed
I don't think about men anymore

even Jesus

(This was written to reflect my state of mind back in 1998-99, not my present feelings)

Posted by blog/wicker_chronicles at 3:56 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 9 June 2005 4:13 PM CDT
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Thursday, 9 June 2005 - 6:49 PM CDT

Name: sue

That was me in 1981-83ish.
Until I began to realize that just perhaps God had not made a mistake afterall and I was exactly as God wished me to be.
Then I was asked to leave my chosen church.
They couldn't stand to have an unrepentent homo in their midst...I guess, I never asked, I just walked away and didn't look back.
So... I hear you, I understand.
I am with you my brother.
I would be honored to be your sister/friend.
My blessings to you.
We have a valid place in this world.
Be safe.

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