Pretty contrived, eh?
um redux
So, I was getting rid of that offline reading thingie that was to the side there for awhile. I realized it was a little out of date, especially since I no longer have the copy of Less than Zero that was mentioned on it. I left it on the desk at work when I was in IN and never went back to get it. Not a horrible loss, except that I now realize it was a book from Punk Chick Erin's "library."
She was fun. I wonder what she's up to these days. Last I heard, she was getting married.
I still carry a wee bit of "baggage" from her: one thing being a desire to hold the tummy of whoever it is I am sleeping beside. I used to do it with stac when she was pregnant, but other those months, she would usually push my hand off her belly while she slept.
I miss sleeping with someone. Perhaps that's why I haven't been sleeping all that well. I wrote a story once, about a guy who could somehow know the lives of people simply by seeing them as they slept. I liked that story. I actually wrote it for a reading I did in DeKalb once. I've since lost all copies of it, which is probably just as well, since I am notorious for strongly disliking anything I've ever written. I'm not even all that fond of the Caprice short short that can be found somewhere on this website, although Gilbert says she likes it.
Ah, well. I hate being lonesome. I don't deal with it really well, which is strange, since I'm so inordinately shy. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
enough of my whining_
posted 04.30.03
um
Long time no write. I've been a bit out of it as of late. Not really a melancholy or a maudlin, but definitely not a happy and contented. I guess that's why I haven't been posting. Or maybe the lack of posting has gotten me feeling this way. We shall see which end is cart and which end is horse.
Here I am, all introspective.
Pretty contrived, eh?
I was made aware of the fact that there was a bit of a problem with my "email" link thingie. I believe I have resolved the issue. Not that I am under the assumption that there was a flood of emails that I missed, but heck, fixin' the problem gave me a whole 10 minutes of something to do.
I can't rightly say why I have been out of sorts. It's a vague loneliness, I imagine. I miss not working, not having day to day contact with the outside world on a bigger scale. Okay, there's that.
And I also have been sleeping really shoddily for about a month or so. Well, this is leading somewheres that I don't particularly wish to revel in. so_
posted 04.29.03
Nothin'
Well, once again_ I don't have much of a clue where this is gonna go. But here goes nothing'
I guess I could start off with my Oxymoron of the Day. Okay, so I'm juvenile and the name amused me.
I've been looking at my feet rather closely of late, and I've determined that I am not very fond of them.
Okay, that about sums up my life. Thanks for stopping by.
posted 04.26.03
Blah Blah Blah
Well, once again Paul comes to the rescue. I asked him if he could help me with some code for something I wanted to put on this page. Unfortunately, whether it was the hour that I was working on it, or something else all together, I couldn't get it to work. We shall see. I think I'll try tinkering around with it again tonight sometime. I just don't have the brain waves for it right now.
So_
I don't really have much to say, I s'pose. Been a slow brain couple of days. I did, however, through reading & writing find a most excellent annotated version of T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land". I wish all of the web was like this. I would love to see more annotated works of literature on the web. I think it's a great use of hypertext. It would also really help in prevent disasters like this from happening. Oh, and I also stumbled on an Online Etymology Dictionary (I think I found the link on reading & writing as well), which I haven't managed yet to peruse, but am anxiously waiting to check out.
And lest we all forget_ the end is nigh. Have a wonderful day.
posted 04.24.03
The title of this entry is for Lilli. That story's actually been brewing for awhile. But when I heard reference to the lions today, I instantly thought of you. I'm so glad you're outta the hospital. Keep getting yerself stronger. Oh, and yes, my Bride of Frankenstein, you too can have that lovely hair-do ifn ya put yer mind to it.
Oh, and I once again want to thank the ever-vigilant, ceaselessly-astute, and always-thinking cub reporter Gilbert who mentioned to me a connection and a link that I failed to tie in to the "big picture" with regards to Scott Petersen. If I weren't so fundamentally wigged out by what horrors may have befallen Laci and Conner to do any investigative conspiracy conjecture. I may, however, if you all are lucky, sometime in the future divulge my research on the Jon Benet Ramsey/Kenny of South Park fame intrigue.)
Oh, and lest I forget, I didn't mention yesterday that lil bear got his first haircut while at the MI farm. My great-uncle Paul did the honors. As a matter of fact, what with lil bear being the squirmiest kid on the planet at the time, I'd have to say that Uncle Paul did a darn good job. Oh, and I also read Johnathan Kellerman's The Murder Book over the long weekend. Sure, it'll probably never earn its author the National Fckin' Book Award, but at least I was reading.
And speaking of reading_ I've got to make a mental note to myself not to catch up on back issues of Sour Bob when I'm wandering the borderlands of Maudlin and Weary. Sometimes his words are just so poignantly heart-rending. If I didn't start a four day long, totally mind-numbing, why didn't they just train monkeys to do this, but at least I can wear a ball cap `cause my hair's been really pissing me off of late temp assignment today I would have thrown myself out of the closest window. Not that it would have done much damage, seeing as I'm currently living in my parent's basement.Earth Day, and let's all look forward to an appropriately nicknamed "Hump Day" tomorrow. At least if my hand doesn't fall asleep on me.
On the up-side, I hope everyone had a good .Earth Day, and let's all look forward to an appropriately nicknamed "Hump Day" tomorrow. At least if my hand doesn't fall asleep on me.
posted 04.22.03
Hoppy Day After Bunny-Day
I get back from a long weekend at the MI farm, and what do I find in my email box? Why, I find this (hope you don't mind me sharing, Gilbert):
"I was so completely astonished to read your blog entry this morning and see the bb reference, because I HAD JUST THOUGHT OF IT MYSELF LAST NIGHT. I don't know where it came from, but I remembered the line, and remembered you in the Penthouse T-shirt and green corduroy sport coat and baggy jeans (man, you looked good that day!) and remembered Larry Heineman's undisguised pleasure at the T-shirt. Wow. Synchronicity, baby.
For the record, I too hate Greta van Whatever The Hell. She just annoys the piss out of me.
Also for the record, I love Elvis. Bless you for the vision of the Oppressed Masses becoming Kings."
Thanks, Gilbert. You're a doll-face. Your memory about how good I allegedly looked may be flawed, but you did remember that the winner of the National Fckin' Book Award did, indeed, seem to enjoy that I had a Penthouse shirt on. That guy was a hoot. Thanks for the little ego-stroke, though.
Well, I had a wonderful weekend. Did all that Easter Bunny stuff. We colored eggs
and had baskets full o' candy for lil bear and The Frog Princess, and so on and so forth. lil bear is now officially obsessed with tractor rides. I may have to learn how to drive one of those things (shuddering just thinking of it).
I don't know what I want to say about Laci Petersen, but I feel somehow compelled to say something. I guess all I have to really say is that I hope whatever happens stays as out of the press as it can (although I don't really think that will happen) until there is a conviction. I guess if I were going to crack-wise (and I probably shouldn't do this, but the meds must not be kicking in as hard as they should be), I would ask if anyone else had noticed that Scott Petersen is a fertilizer salesman and then ruminate on whether that makes selling the b.s. story of his innocence any easier.
After a conviction, however, all bets are off, and I think a public execution would be in order. Sorry for the bloodlust, but I'm still horrified by this story.
posted 04.21.03
Musta Forgot My Meds Again
Okay, so most of this is old news. Stuff that has been rattling in my head for awhile, like a bb in a boxcar (remember the reference, Gilbert?)
My friend Garv got me slightly into comics for awhile when I was in that brief and unarticulated part of my life called Graduate School. This was around the time that the first Gulf incident was happening. Now, with a cast of characters like Chemical Ali, Dr. Germ, and Missile Man in the not so far gone headlines, I'm beginning to wonder when this War became a DC title. And with all the new-to-me names for bombs and munitions and other implements of death (I imagine a FROG missile explodes in a shower of amphibious proportions), I am wondering when it will be that someone develops an (don't click on this next link, I'm warning you now) Elvis Bomb. The only drawback to an Elvis Bomb, which, of course, turns all who are within its range into Elvis, is that if there are ever friendly fire incidents, we may find ourselves with more sightings than ever. 
"Will the real Elvis Presley please stand up_ and raise one of those twinkies in each hand up_"
Oh, and watching the news last night: for some reason I've had a bit of a violent streak of late. There was a story about a guy that ran out on the field and attacked an official at a baseball game. This is not the only time this has happened in Chicago. Watching the snippet of film that was shown, though, I turned to my ma and said, "Yanno? Baseball players ought to be able to beat the tar outta any fan that steps out onto the field. Would this kinda crap happen at a football or hockey game? I think not." She suggested I switch to decaf.
Later in the evening on FOX I was completely blown away by Greta Van Susteren . For some reason my ma, who also happened to be watching with me at this time, really hates Ms/Miss/Mrs. Van Susteren. I want to know why it is that a change from CNN to FOX made her decide to look like the aftermath of a date with a Cenobite. I searched for a picture to evidence her attire last night, but sadly could not find one. She was, however, bedecked in a jacket that was the EXACT color of a kid's yellow rain slicker. Perhaps her clothing choice was because we are now returning to a National Threat Level of ELEVATED. Regardless of her rationale, I about peed my pants when she was splashed on the screen to do her pre-show tease. At this point I also noted to my ma that Greta was beginning to have the vocal and speech qualities of a cross between Robin Leach and John McLaughlin. She looked blankly at me for a moment and then switched the channel to Elimidate. Bless her soul.
p.s.
Thank you, answergrape, for re-mailing me two links to your current `blogs. I'm putting them here for now so I don't lose them again.
posted 04.17..03
The Snails Are Not What They Seem
Diane,
I may have mentioned this to you earlier, or perhaps not. lil bear really, really likes watching Blue's Clues on TV. I, of course, being the conscientious parent that I am, had to grab a cup of steaming hot coffee and a box of Enetnmann's chocolate donuts (sorry, Diane, pie has gone by the waist size I noted that Blue comes on TV twice a day, and that there was a different owner in the earlier and the later episodes. If you've any familiarity with the show, Diane, you know that one of the owners is Steve and the other is Joe. My immediate sense was that there was something a bit peculiar about the man Steve, and that he warranted some further investigation.
A brief background check on the show revealed to me that Steve was the original "host" of the show, and that if you believe the studio's reckoning of events, you would be led to believe that Steve went off to college and that his younger brother, Joe, came to take over where Steve was leaving off. That seemed just a bit too convenient for me (but it was mighty nice of the Studio to help parents transition their young viewers to the change_ or is this merely the first part of the propoganda machine?)
I dug a little bit deeper into the stories that had swirled around this coup-de-Blue, and discovered that some actually preferred Steve to Joe. I also discovered, Diane, that there was quite a bit of rumoring going on about the Why? of Steve's departure. One particularly widespread belief was that Steve was dead. This, however, appears to not be the case.
I can understand, Diane, the reason that people had rushed to believe these stories. As I mentioned earlier, there appears to be something "just not right" about this Steve character.
I began watching more episodes of Blue's Clues in hopes of finding clues of my own. It took hours of viewing, and re-viewing of the taped evidence, but I believe I may have stumbled upon something. My epiphany came when talking with a friend of mine. The conversation, quite innocently, turned to the general subject of Blue's Clues. She mentioned that she had issue with the show because of Steve, alluding to her belief that he was one of those people who sacrifice goats in their off hours.
Now, Diane, don't get me wrong. I am not passing any judgments on sacrificers of goats. Not by any means. But that comment made me realize something that I had been missing all along. It has to do with Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper Diane, answer this for me: If Steve is going to college, why would he only take seasonings?
I believe the answer is quite simple: He is NOT going to college. Nor is he pursuing an alleged career in music. In fact, Diane, as bizarre as this may sound, I am of the firm belief that he has abducted the Seasoning Family and is now on the lam (no pun intended) somewhere abroad committing heinous acts of sacrifice.
My only solace is that poor, dear Blue is receiving the proper therapies to help her cope with the long seasons when she was trapped within Steve's malignant grip.
Oh, and before I wrap this up, Diane_ do you think I should contact posted 04.10.03
Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby
Yes, yes, yes. You are two years old today. Or, as you say it, when asked, you are, "Two old," which invariably sounds like what I say when asked how old I am: "Too old." I love you to pieces, lil bear, and hope you're having a most wonderful day.
I've been wanting to post some things about your daily life as you become two years old. Today shall be that day. As a matter of fact, I already typed a draft that I was prepared to post onto my journal/blog, but just as I attempted to sign on-line, this rather finicky computer that I am using decided that it was time to freeze up and I lost the whole entry. So here goes "take two" of your birthday reminisces.
You are quite the precocious little fella. Always the explorer. Perpetually the daredevil. And forever grabbing at life and savoring it to its fullest. About a week or so back, you stole an apple off of the kitchen counter and began devouring it. When I finally found you hiding (as you are often wont to do when you think you are doing something "sly") around a corner of the kitchen counters, you looked up at me shyly, then back down at the apple in your hands. There were little round bite holes throughout the skin of the apple. Two of them caught your eye and you looked back up at me. You held the apple up and gazed up at me. Two bite marks, nearly touching each other, were displayed to me. “Owl?” you said.
You love to color with your crayons, and to have people draw pictures for you. You and I often do owls and moons. Grandma and you do monkeys and lots and lots and lots of hearts. Anyone who will spend more than 20 seconds with you and a crayon will have to draw triangles. And yes, my darling lil bear, I had to agree with you, the two bites from the apple were definitely the beginnings of an owl’s eyes peering back up at me from your hand.
You are also quite the little mimic. You learn from the people you love every day by aping their actions. You absolutely love to be read to. You probably get that from seeing Mommy and me when we are reading. Occasionally, despite your being quite the active lil bear, you will take a break and grab a book of yours and sit down and look at it, sometimes even repeating back the words that you have had read to you over and again.
Other times this mimicking of the world that you observe around you is quite comical to say the very least. Your cousin the Frog Princess has a very sensitive scalp. When she gets her hair combed or brushed there is invariably the gentle and plaintive (and sometimes not-so-gentle) murmur of, “owww!!” You’ve seen this every time you’ve witnessed her getting her hair done. Awhile back, while you were playing with something or other, you spied your little hairbrush. “Brush hair?” you said, and began running the tines through your fly-away locks. After three or four strokes, you scrunched your face in its most pitiable mask of faux-agony and began to whimper, “owww!!” You and I burst into gales of laughter. Unfortunately, the Frog Princess was less than amused.
You have such a joy of life. Even when you are sick you try with all your might to have a laugh on your lips. Which brings me to what may be coming with your possibility of encountering “the terrible twos.” While you are most certainly the happiest baby I have ever met, you do have a developing sense of what the world should be, and you have no problem in demanding, in no uncertain terms, that reality comply with your conception of it. Sometimes by any means necessary.
Case in point: There rules at Grandma’s house that are different than at Mommy’s. For instance, at Mommy’s, the dining/living room areas are relatively close. Because of this, you are often allowed to wander freely hand food. Grandma’s dining/living room areas are a bit more spread out, so it is asked of you that you don’t carry most food away from the table. You know this rule, but do not necessarily agree with it.
Last week, after a breakfast of eggs, toast, and bacon, you still had a few remaining broken pieces of bacon. For some reason, you decided that it was suddenly time to bid morning greetings to Thomas the Tank Engine. It sometimes takes you a little time to get out of the dining room chairs, as the armrests tend to pin you in a bit. You began to wriggle yourself downward, bacon in fist, and I told you to leave the bacon at the table. You looked at me blankly, feigning some sort of temporary deafness. I told you again to leave the bacon at the table. You continued to work your way off the chair, nonplussed. As you finally worked yourself free from the grasp of the chair, I darted an arm out go take the bacon from your grease-slicked fist. You sensed my move, and responded with Jackie Chan-like reflexes, your own hand instantly shooting out of the reach of mine. Having missed your hand, my arm snaked around your belly, catching you in a gentle grasp and drawing you near. You threw your weight against my restraint of you, in a move resembling some sort of resistance of arrest, suddenly becoming limp and inert. You realize that this is not enough, and suddenly you toss the piece of bacon to the floor a few feet in front of you. “Oops,” you call out, “bacon fell down.”
I begin laughing softly. No, hon, I think to myself, the bacon did not fall down.
I move forward to retrieve the bacon, but in doing so have to loosen my grip on you. You jet forward and grab the bacon before I can get to it and scurry off, fuzz covered and cold scrap of meat in hand, rushing it to Thomas, lest he miss out on breakfast.
Score one for you, lil bear.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Happy Birthday, my beautiful and oh-so-intelligent lil bear. I love you.
posted 04.09.03
Spring Un-Sprung
So, when I changed my clock back an hour, did I inadvertantly change the season back one as well? There was snow on the ground when I woke up this morning. What's up with that?
I didn't manage to type in any of the lil bear things I wanted to. I got a bit blue thinking about them since he just went to his ma's and I miss him tremendously.
Wednesday's his birthday.
posted 04.07.03
Back in the Saddle Again (sorta)
Okay, so did you all change your clocks for Daylight Saving Time? I know that *I* did. Thing is, i changed mine back an hour. I can be so totally blonde sometimes (no offense, Gilbert).
On that note... webexhibits.org has a cool bit of information about Daylight Saving Time. There's also a potentially cool bit of information about calendars, but I haven't read it yet... I promise, though, I will.
I have a ton of stuff I need to post about lilbear. I need to do that soon. I hate being behind in doing what I want to do here.
I also need to update the off-line reading section, but first I need to change my clocks.
posted 04.06.03
(and of course their daughter Paprika, who I will refrain from showing a picture of, lest there are laws about posting the pictures of minors). On further review of tapes I had, I discovered that Mr. Salt and family have not been in ANY episodes since Steve departed. This struck me as odd.
PETA_ err_ PETA with the findings I have thus far, or do they only deal with real animals?
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you…”
