Saturday, 8 May 2004 - 12:44 PM BST

Attack, Great White Huntress! ATTACK!

Saturday, 8 May 2004 - 4:20 PM BST

What is that picture??? make it go away...

Saturday, 8 May 2004 - 7:41 PM BST

You could always call Sid..

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 12:58 AM BST

A spider is simply cat food, if you're a cat.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 1:34 AM BST

You mean call IT Sid?

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 2:34 AM BST

The cat was sat next to it, with a 'what? WHAT?' look on it's face. The most they'll ever do is idly chew a leg off, then forget what they were doing.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 2:35 AM BST

Hah! He does look like he @#%$! his kecks and can't get her off, a bit.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 2:36 AM BST

I take it that was Vic, and not the lady who does the accounts where I work writing that comment?

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 6:02 AM BST

That happened to me once. I found a spider in my closet and I eventually killed it with a broom (it took me like an hour to conjure up the courage). But I was still all psycho that there were more. Don't worry, it wears off.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 12:38 PM BST

it's disappeared behind the wardrobe - I'll just try never to open it again.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 3:19 PM BST

Just buy a bird, or maybe a venus flytrap. Or hire a destitute man or woman to stand in your flat and eat spiders. I actually like that last idea.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 3:52 PM BST

Hah! Brilliant plan.

Someone begging on the train yesterday: "Scuse me ladies and gentlemen, can anyone spare some change for me to buy crack cocaine and heroin?"

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 4:12 PM BST

But yeah, being drunk and hitting the right keys on a keyboard isn't as easy as I first thought it was.

Sunday, 9 May 2004 - 11:01 PM BST

What I do is use the Forehead Smash. More difficult to be misinterpreted that way. :)

Monday, 10 May 2004 - 10:32 PM BST

ahh haway, you have to do the ACTUAL SIZE photos so we can tune in every day to find out if you've got it vanquished.

or - on a date, ask her to come round and squish it. Seriously, it works with mice.

Tuesday, 11 May 2004 - 6:55 AM BST

Ewwww! You squish mice? You're butcher than what I is...

I showed actual size fingers to Krystal and she laughed and called me a drama queen. Was a bit small - but black! Hairy!

Wednesday, 12 May 2004 - 9:38 PM BST

sure. I blame my mother, who worked at the library when I was a teenager, and would bring home mills and boon type novels full of heaving bosoms and strapping men, possibly in an effort to turn me straight or something. Anyway, in one, the wifey's off on some poetical rant in the morning when the bloke, getting dressed, stamps suddenly on the floor of polished wood.

"gasp" gasped Miranda, "was it a spider?"
"Nae, lassie," replied Jock, his muscular chest and carved abdomen reflecting the dawn light, "Just a wee rat"

I thought that was soooo cool, and have modelled myself on Jock ever since.