Ok...last night I couldnt fall asleep and then I thought why am I going to college? I've killed myself the last God knows how many years to make the grade. I like learing and all, but do i really want to go through another 4 years of it? I know this maybe just nerves and everything...its a big step. but I get the feeling some times that if i ever stop working hard on everything and sit down for a minute, then i'll never get back up. Thinking about it now I should have taken a year off...travel, work, just relax. But this summer isnt relaxing...work school, i feel like i'm never home. Welcome to the real world I guess. I cant see any of my friends because I'm working they're working and schedules dont work. But I still dont know why I'm going to college. I never thought about not going...it was always assumed that I'd go. So why am I going? I dont know what I want to do...I'm getting sick of school. WHY AM I GOING?????
I dont know why I just thought of this now, I maybe just tired. But I still dont know why I decided to go, no one in my grade took a year off. Everyone went straight into college, I guess its the whole herd mentality thing. It made my family happy...and of course I always try to keep my family happy. But this is now my life, I have to make my own decisions. WHY AM I GOING??? I know I could feel like this because, I'm nervous or whatever...moving out, completely new situation etc etc. But I dunno.